.:Sunday, July 13, 2008:.

-oops-

okay someone alerted me to the fact that i haven't said anything over the last month. really i don't have an excuse this time. i still have extra relatives around--even though technically no one is home but me BUT that would be because those folks are at the hospital right now. long story, so don't want to get into it but suffice it to say old people should be required to go to the doctor whenever we say so JUST because we're typically right. if we happen to be wrong i guess we can pick up the bill but i'd rather them be ok and me out some cash than stuck in the hospital because we're trying to honor their right to be stubborn jackasses. moving on.

every now and then i wake up and think the last three years didn't happen. Emp will be waiting on a call and the nice RS fellow never came into my life. so we know i'm sleep deprived as hell when those mornings occur because short of a life saving transplant it's unlikely i would ever come in contact with Emp again. and my very nice soldier still is very nice somewhere else. there has still been no word from Him or the army about Him so i really have no idea what that means. i pray that He is all right and that He will return home safely but the longer He's gone the more i worry about that. mostly for littlest soldier. this would be horribly unfair to her. losing my dad at 25 was hard enough i can't imagine what i would be like to be without both parents before the age of 10.

so really nothing is going on around here. just trying to keep my head above water. if you get a moment say a prayer for my soldiers and all the others that have been away from home too long and those that won't be coming home anymore.

Labels: update

Posted By red velvet at 11:06 PM

1 comments

.:Thursday, June 12, 2008:.

-holy crapola batman!-

Okay so i really didn't have a cute title for this. i didn't realize i hadn't posted in over a month. as soon as we finished the project at work my brain went mushy and then i went on vacation because mom was gone and well vacation rocks. so do the boston celtics as of this moment. i had damn near refused to watch the end of the game. i mean they were losing 26-7 early in the game. they were hurting my feelings. yes i know how can random men who i am unlikely to ever meet hurt my feelings. that's the weird thing about watching sports. if you are rooting for or against someone then this massive us versus them thing happens and well i really like garnett and allen and i really hate---yes hate---kobe bryant. i do feel bad for his teammates as i love derek fisher and lamar odom but i want them to lose real whole lot unless kobe decides to retire between now and sunday. in that case i want a tough 7 game series. otherwise i hope that boston wins one of the next two games and puts me and kobe out of our somewhat-tied-together-misery for entirely different reasons.

i have no other updates, RS is still not home and i still haven't heard from Him. i'm not sure what to do at this point.

Labels: random

Posted By red velvet at 10:10 PM

4 comments

.:Tuesday, May 13, 2008:.

-it's vacation time-

just so you guys don't worry, in about 36 hours my vacation is officially starting. i haven't taken one since right before my birthday and i need this time to myself. i doubt i'll be posting or reading anything from anyone. actually i've been really bad about that lately so i can't act like that's a new thing. the ebb and flow of my life lately has just swung back to crappyville and i'd rather not dump here again. after vacation is over i'll make some decisions about this blog, my life and what i want to do with both. until then just know that i'm physically okay and i'm sure everything else will come to pass when it's supposed to.

Labels: update

Posted By red velvet at 7:44 AM

2 comments

.:Saturday, May 10, 2008:.

-it occurs to me...-

hey everyone,

it occurs to me that i have been some what of a whiny bitch lately. i have to recognize that i haven't packed it in because part of me still believes in the idea of what could be for me and RS. reality is a pain in the ass and interferes with daydreams and plans. part of a submissive's life is going to entail some sort of waiting, for commands or for His attention. this situation is different granted but waiting would still be involved. let me just say that i have a new perspective on things at the moment and i'm keeping myself busy with good friends who i would be lost without. this is just another period of self exploration i guess and i'm always up for becoming more of who i was meant to be. i love the man i call Daddy and nothing is gonna change that right now.

red
Posted By red velvet at 12:40 AM

0 comments

.:Tuesday, April 22, 2008:.

-always waiting-

that is what i've been doing for years now. waiting to be wanted, to be used and i am really really tired. for every step i take forward i feel like i have been slapped backwards four more. given the right circumstances that might not distress me but these are not the right circumstances. when do i get to have what i want?
Posted By red velvet at 12:37 AM

3 comments

.:Tuesday, April 08, 2008:.

-where oh where has little girl been-

i don't have a good excuse for my absence. i cried the night of my last post and quite a few in between. i've been stressed and tired and horny and upset and for a week or so just in a funk. we haven't talked since last i wrote. and my mom is still reeling from grandma's death so that's a problem. i was tied up with some activities that were mildly distracting and completely exhausting. at the end of it though i can say that i'm happy i was there and could help out. but it's over and recovery mode has started and it's just another event that He wasn't here for. i have really stopped keeping track of them, especially while the event is occurring, and don't notice until the aftermath/recovery kicks in and i have no one to celebrate with. just me and my bed and my bears and mildly high blood pressure lol.

i haven't written letters or mailed most checks out for friendly things like i thought i would. i haven't even been keeping up with my favorite shows. people have asked if i'm depressed and i really am not, i'm just tired. i'm so over being lonely that i know that's not it either. i just don't have a lot to say. i know that when He can be home that He will. i know that He loves me and i do love Him. at the moment i guess i could say i'm just not eagerly anticipating His return. as each month has ticked by i've been disappointed by the lack of anything resembling a return home day. i try not to get upset about that either even though i'm not always successful with that.

so to answer my own question, i think i've been hiding out. my brain hasn't been able to process much beyond the basics and the basics truly aren't all that interesting. we'll see what happens now that it's somewhat back to firing on most of the cylinders i still have intact lol. see y'all later.
Posted By red velvet at 4:51 PM

0 comments

.:Saturday, February 23, 2008:.

-500 words won't be enough-

Okay so i vanished again. i have a valid excuse, hell i have several, but i've sort of felt blocked not posting so here we go. i swear before heaven this will be a long random ranting thing so if you don't want to read it just scroll down to the quizzes and have a nice day/night.

this post is my 500th lol. for something i wasn't sure about doing in the first place, even with all the slow down recently, i wasn't exactly thinking 500 would come to pass. ESPECIALLY after that lovely day when emperor told me that i was essentially delusional and the last year didn't mean a freaking thing. i was convinced i was going to let the blog go dark, i mean it was about us after all, but you all were very nice and kept me tethered to a community i wasn't sure i wanted to remain in at all. and as we all know a short time later i met Roaming Soldier. and i thought good lord where had He been hiding because He seemed like a big present in a shiny bow that had been dropped on my doorstep all out of nowhere.

but as the course with my life lol, for every nice wonderful thing that happens an alternate crappy balancing thing has to happen. in this case He was deployed and for the last two years we have been separated by increased physical distance and inability to talk to each other when we want let alone see each other. it was hard not seeing emp when i wanted to, but this is just a big slice of hell cake. of course it wasn't as bad at the beginning but as this last stretch of time has come up, it's been so hard to go to bed every night hoping He's okay and sent home soon. for those of you that might be worried---we are still together, i'm just talking. another round of holidays, birthdays and now anniversary with limited contact. i wasn't expecting to hear from Him at all so i have to admit i was happy to get the im but it just made me miss Him again more than i thought it would. why yesterday i don't know. it wasn't any different than a few weeks ago when i talked to Him on Valentine's Day. that conversation left me hopeful for some reason. maybe because He was joking about going AWOL but it did give me hope. i need something i can't have right now and it sucks. i'm just incredibly lonely today and i don't know how to make it not the case for once.

Your Seduction Style: Siren / Rake

You possess an unbridled sensuality that appeals to many. The minute you meet anyone, you can make the crave you almost immediately. You give others the chance to lose control with you... spiraling into carnal bliss. A dangerous lover, you both fascinate and scare those you attract.

Labels: life not good

Posted By red velvet at 11:23 AM

2 comments

.:Saturday, January 26, 2008:.

-E is for Enthusiasm-

she was laying in bed hoping the noise of the house subsided for a few more minutes before she was forced to get up. her cell phone rang and she cursed under her breath as she reached for it. The ring was short and when she looked down she realized it was only a text message. The message was from one of her silly friends and all it said was i finally understand enthusiasm. she laughed and reclined back into the bed. He came back into their bedroom with nary a child in tow and she thanked whatever deities were blessing them this morning. He noticed she had a smile on her face and remembered that He hadn't done anything in the last hour that would be responsible for it. There were no toys whirring or obvious signs that she'd been bringing herself to joy as Prince might say. He finally stopped wondering what was going on and asked her what the smile was about.

"Oh nothing Daddy. One of the BGs just sent me a text message telling me that she finally understood enthusiasm and i just had to laugh as i told them about "enthusiasm" back in undergrad.

"Ahh enthusiasm," He said as He pulled her close to where He had just lay down next to her. "I do so enjoy your enthusiasm." He started kissing her then and hoped He had locked the door before He got in bed. It had been a long running joke that she really didn't do anything special in bed but it was her enthusiasm to make sure He was satiated that was the difference maker. she wouldn't listen when He'd mention something in particular that was just damn amazing and couldn't be bothered to believe that most women wouldn't give head for hours if they were properly motivated. Okay so she was a little delusional there and He knew it but she wasn't going to be swayed. He kissed her neck as He pulled her closer to Him and whispered in her ear. she smiled and nodded before pulling away from Him.

He watched her ass jiggle as she walked into the bathroom and the shower burst on full blast. she was singing off key and quietly as she washed her face and prepared to brush her teeth while the water began to heat up the bathroom. He got up and out of the bed and walked quickly down the hall and downstairs to check on the kids. her mother was talking to His mother about lunch and shopping. He told them both that she was still very tired and that He was going to let her rest if they wouldn't mind taking care of the kids. They eagerly agreed to spend the day with their grandkids and He was glad they didn't want to check on her as He headed back up to their bedroom. He locked the door and undressed before heading into the bathroom.

"how much did You have to bribe the kids to let us have a shower?"

"The kids are downstairs with our mothers," He replied as He stepped inside the steamy shower with her.

"guess that means You can't have me up here screaming," she said with a smirk and a smile.

"I'm sure we can find things to keep your mouth occupied." she slid down to her knees and started licking up His calves and thighs before raising up slightly to start lavishing attention on her bottle. her head moved gently and slowly around His dick while her tongue worked like it was manic to cover Him with her saliva. His hand slammed into the wall to brace Himself as she spun around slightly on the balls of her feet to press her tongue against His prostate. she sucked the area absentmindedly like she was teasing His nipples. her hands gripped His thighs as she moved up to take His balls into her mouth. she was hanging in a way that wasn't allowing Him to get a grip of her hair and she could feel Him trying to grab some part of her body unsuccessfully. When she began to giggle a bit, He finally caught one of her nipples and twisted it until she whimpered and let go of what she was suckling in her mouth.

When she stood up, He grabbed her hips to let her know to stand very still. He was tempted to turn on another one of the shower heads to hit her with a blast of cold water but that would hit Him too so He just opted to bend her over. "Grab your ankles baby," was the only warning He gave her before He lined His dick up against the opening of her pussy. she hadn't lubricated enough for Him to slide all the way inside of her with one quick shove which made Him smile. she would be on the verge of a scream by the time He had sunk in. Of course that wouldn't be because she wasn't used to the length of His dick but because He was going to do it as slowly as humanly possible. her pussy grabbed at every inch of Him and she was begging Him to fuck her now. Thankfully the walls of the bathroom were a little thicker than normal otherwise He was sure their mothers would have heard that squeal she just let go of when He finally left Himself buried deeply inside of her.

He fucked her up onto her toes and left her nearly clawing at His thighs trying to stay upright. He smacked her ass so hard she shot straight up and He moved to press her against the wall of the shower in a quick motion. she let out an elongated sigh and He let His head drop to tease her as He whispered into her ear. "Now you haven't given Me a single solitary reason to worry about the noise. Do I have to give you help for that or can you be a quiet little girl?" she tried to nod in response to His question but by then His dick had taken on a mind of its own. He fucked her slowly, then quickly, like she was His own personal fuck toy and then like He had never loved anyone more than He loved her. Each tempo changed elicited another octave range in her moaning. her body was pushing back against Him as her arms tried to extend from the wall. His hands left her hips momentarily and grabbed one of the hand towels outside the shower door that they hadn't bothered to touch before they got in the shower and rolled it up on her ass while she briefly fucked Him. He laughed at the fact that the towel got wet before He smacked her on the ass and shoved it between her teeth while her mouth was open. she bit down quickly and He started talking again. "Now that should keep you quiet until we're done."

her body pushed against Him as her clit came under fire from His fingers. He felt her pussy constrict around His dick and He smiled to Himself. "Cum for your Daddy honey." That always pushed her over the top for some reason but He didn't care or stop then. He let the first wave of orgasm pass over her before He pressed her downwards as His hand slid over the tattoo right above her ass. her hands were still against the wall for a moment until it dawned on her pleasure addled mind that she could make Him moan from where she was too. He fucked her and she began to massage His balls. her touch was feathery but still attentive enough to cause Him some distraction. He lost His balance slightly and she seized the opportunity to squeeze a little harder. He stood up a bit and turned off the shower before pulling out of her. "Oh so you want to play dirty now?" He lifted her up and literally drug her out of the shower by her hair and tossed her on the bed. she dropped the towel from her lips along the way and was about to mention it when He lay His lanky frame across the bed. He pulled her on top of Him and told her not to raise her voice as He slammed up and into her. her whole body shook but she kept quiet.

she began bucking on Him so roughly that He began to worry that they might damage the wall but He didn't try to stop her. she kept leaning back until she was laying back between His legs. This gave Him free reign over her clit again and she began to writhe on top of Him. He felt her cum again and she was starting to look a little drowsy but He was mistaken on her alertness. As soon as the orgasm washed over her body, she climbed off of Him, rolled over on her stomach and let her body cover His leg and hip. she wrapped her lips around her bottle and was more focused than she had been in the shower. she swallowed the length of Him and pumped her head along the shaft until her jaws began to hollow out as she reach the head of His dick. she repeated the movement over and over again until she heard a hard sigh and grunt escape His lips. "do You want the towel now Daddy," she asked knowing she was likely going to pay for being a smart ass. He didn't respond but pulled her pussy toward His mouth. her eyes snapped open before slowly closing while His tongue probed one of His favorite areas.

Their full mouths helped muffle the yelps, sighs, and outright moans and groans that were coming from both of them. He flicked His tongue over her clit and she came again so hard that her body tensed up for nearly a minute before she was done cumming. Proud of Himself for holding out again, He couldn't fight it anymore after she swallowed His dick down to the base of His shaft again. He came in long slow spurts that slid down her throat that He was also occupying. she sucked up His dick slowly until she got to and nursed on His head until He let out another squeal and small stream of nut. she rolled off of Him and climbed back into His arms.

"How did we get here again little girl?"

"Enthusiasm."

"Yes, yes that enthusiasm."

Labels: alphabet game, Daddy, smut

Posted By red velvet at 4:21 PM

2 comments

.:Friday, January 11, 2008:.

-back from oz-

hey boys and girls. sorry for my absence. i was still basking in post baby glow and then making sure i was going to get scheduled for my last phase of being dr. red. that was this morning and it went swimmingly if i do say so myself. i spent the last few weeks studying and reviewing my notes from that lengthy spell of graduate training. then i worried and prayed and hoped to high heaven that i would get nice folks to talk to and i did. a few hours later, i'm all done with the school stuff for the moment. just gotta keep up my CEU hours and pay them when they like i'll be okay. i also get a raise and who doesn't like raises. okay i really am going to try to take a nap now. i should be back in a few days with new smut.

Labels: life is good, update

Posted By red velvet at 4:42 PM

2 comments