Book Review: Anne Rice Beauty’s Kingdom

So first let me apologize for being out of action for a while.  I’ve been busy with work and traveling and a host of other things but has been wonderfully interrupted by a random opportunity.  I follow Anne Rice on Facebook and saw a post she had shared about looking for reviewers who were among other things actually involved in BDSM.  I saw it several hours after it was posted so I wasn’t sure if I was going to even be considered.  I got an email back shortly afterwards that I would be getting a copy and it was sent to me in enough time to take on my trip a few weeks ago.

I have to say this as well.  I didn’t read the rest of the Beauty series before reading this novel so there was some back story that I was missing when I began.  As I was reading it I wondered why I hadn’t read them before and then I remembered why.  I was in love with Anne Rice’s witches and vampires and the worlds they moved in.  My understanding of BDSM was minimal at best and I literally couldn’t understand the motivations to serve.  Hot sexual encounters that push buttons a total check.  The mental devotion not at all registering for me at that moment which had to be I would be fifteen years ago.  Having taken the journey that I have been on since then reading this book was much like reading Diary of a Submissive for me.  Which in short means it felt like coming home in a lot of ways.

Having never read the original Beauty trilogy I was worried I’d be at some significant loss but this book felt like a standalone or rebirth which I guess it was in actuality.  If you haven’t read Shakespeare or classic literature in a while the writing will take a short while to get used to but it was delightful honestly (or you think Twilight or Fifty Shades was well written–you should probably skip this actually if you think that) .  I quickly became invested in Beauty and her king Laurent and wanted to see what this adventure would do to their explicitly understood power dynamic.  Without giving anything away I can say that I was thrilled with both of their development and exploration and found myself nodding along often as Beauty struggled to become the monarch she thought the kingdom needed.  Laurent was the stuff of submissive girl dreams all charming and big and quietly dominating without needing to be demanding.

They are supported by a rich cast who I’m sure featured heavily in the original series save Eva who seems to have blossomed on these pages due to her age and interests.  The former Princes and Princesses returning to explore service and domination was slightly amazing.  I can say there was a fair bit of envy thinking there would or could be a place where my only thought needed to be how can I be pleasing today.  Those brief moments I have been able to indulge such thoughts have been freeing and wonderful and what can help push me through the moments that I can’t.  And in this kingdom the phrase anything goes would have been fitting albeit out of step with how they would speak.  Dmitri, Alexi, Tristan and all the others explored whatever urges and pleasures that entertained them so if you aren’t accustomed to reading about homosexual trysts you will likely be shocked.  All those things that were below the surface in the Vampire tales bursts free and is abundantly appreciated within these pages.

The freedom of Beauty’s Kingdom made me envious if I didn’t mention that earlier.  The doubts, the encouragement, the love, the lust, the absolute abandonment of the trappings of the “real world” made me sad when it came to a close.  But for all the details and exploring of the physical body the thing that I appreciated the most about this book was what I saw as the mental side of BDSM.  The psychological connection of submissive to dominant can be a unique and powerful thing.  There are those, much as is described in the book, that are just naturally submissive and can easily and readily submit to anyone.  I have never had that experience so reading the tales of those that had to be broken or had to be given to the right kind of dominant force made me smile, smirk and my bottom smart in sympathetic wonder.  For me, and many others, if there is no mental connection there can be no submission.  Watching Stefan transform under the right leadership was amazing and reaffirmed for me at least that love alone can’t bend my will.  If you managed to garner my service to you then the love is overflowing and overwhelming as it was with Stefan and Becca and many others.

Even though it’s a touch over 350 pages the book felt like a quick read and as I mentioned I was deeply entangled with all of the characters as they progressed through the book.  And even though some things are not at all unexpected as they unfold Anne Rice still manages to toss in a curve ball or ten as you work through everyone’s stories.  The end was triumphant but I would love to know what happened to a few main characters after this story came to an end.  Some may say this is just as unrealistic as Fifty Shades but it’s really not.  The motivations and possibilities seem quite real in Beauty’s Kingdom.  And while both are somewhat dependent on having enough money to provide privacy and luxury the difference is it’s not one long mind fuck.  The characters understanding of why they want to serve or dominate are clear and more in line with my experience in D/s relationships well save being naked all day every day.  That would totally rock though.  Their trepidation and appreciation of each other is obvious and genuine.  It’s a love story that blends BDSM into itself easily not horribly written romance with a dash of D/s sex to make things interesting.  There is PLENTY of sex don’t get me wrong but it seems more germane to the goings on of the kingdom and the relationships and when D/s is involved in those acts it doesn’t make me cringe.

All in all I can say it was a very pleasant read.  It made me think of why I submit and what I would do if someone invited me into a world that I could totally surrender.  I’m almost positive they’d send me home or spank me constantly because I think way too much and need intellectual challenges or I become a pain.  But maybe they could use that to the benefit of those in charge.  Either way, if you want to take a mental escape and explore a bit of the BDSM trappings in a well written escapade you should journey off to Beauty’s Kingdom.


The Little Engine That Could

Okay people this may be rambling and not coherent and honestly not at all of interest if you aren’t trying to make me your doe eyed devoted submissive.  You have been warned.

So I’ve been doing a lot of thinking the last few days and it has led me to something I’ve mentioned in other posts
lust is what gets my motor running as it were.  What has crystallized in the last few days is it’s more than just the lust.  Lust fires it up but intelligence and quiet control is what keeps the engine purring.  Without it then my engine is likely to sputter out and just not give a rats ass when I break down on the side of the road.  I won’t torch the car as I walk away like in this video but I’m not going to help you figure out what you did to damage the engine.  That’s not my job in my brain.  You’re the mechanic.  I’m just a faithful customer.  Well faithful within reason I mean some other engine repair company may be running a special.

Honestly the title of this post was to play on that analogy.  Don’t think you can be that man for me.  While you’re thinking I can almost promise you that the engine is stalling.  Be the man, the mechanic, the top of line super powerful quiet running engine manufacturer and then watch me become the thing that wet dreams are made of and that you will probably be holding on to the next time you are forced to fuck a basic off the assembly line model.  I’m not expensive to claim but I’m a pain to maintain.  The power of your mind is all I need to get my attention.  But for all that is holy don’t tinker with the engine if you give me your best material in hour one and are going to try to coast along on fumes and your cute frame afterwards.  Will I ride that frame for a while?  Well of course good Sir it’s a nice ass frame.  I might just ride it till the breaks fall off but after that you’ll be abandoned on the side of the road and I’m not even going to look for the AAA card.

Fine tune my brain.  Give it lots of lubrication to switch gears easily and then buff it to a nice clean shine and well you’ll be surprised how easy everything else comes at that point–especially me and by default you.  I want to know that you genuinely believe that you can be the man that I need and want.  If you can’t or don’t then the engine will sputter to a stop like the poor cars in Alaska without engine block heaters in the dead of winter.  The right man for the job always has the right tools and I submit that the biggest tool in your arsenal is between your ears.  The one between your thighs might be nice too but yeah do more than think you can before you reach under my hood and toy with my engine bits.

Bask in the Randomness that is red velvet

I cannot begin to tell you where this post is going to go.  That’s why it has been dubbed with randomness moniker.  I have to admit to being a little bit giddy today. While I haven’t been engaging in it today, Totally Naked Sunday can return for over a month. My mostly permanent house guest is off on her semi annual visit to my brother and thanks to five year old guilt will be there longer than she planned.  I mean who says no to not attending a preK graduation?  Well I would but it’s only because the kids are usually not that flipping excited about it like at all.  It’s totally for mom and dad but in this case my niece is super duper excited and wanted her grandmother there so win for her and win for me cause it gives me two more weeks alone.

I haven’t been engaging for valid and altogether random reasons.  Yesterday wasn’t Sunday but I came home after dropping her off, had a lovely orgasm thanks to the fucking machine along with Rob Piper and Veronica Avluv woosah that scene is ridiculous, and then did my hair.  Today I woke up, had to improvise with breakfast because I forgot to take something down last night to cook and have been working on things well for work.  And now I’m chilling as I was dishes, wash clothes, eat a snack and lollygag around until dinner time.  See I told you full of the randomness today.  I’m in a pretty good mood and I’m feeling productive.  I’m not feeling horny at the moment but give it some time lol.

Really though I’m mentally in a happy space and I’m going to enjoy it until work kicks my butt or something causes a bit of random disappointment.  I’m going to try to tackle one more project and then I might get back to writing some smut.  I don’t have any inspiration at the moment so not sure how that will work but until then know that red is relaxing and TNS will ride again.  See ya!

Thunderstorm Funk

My brain is a cavernous place sometimes that I don’t encourage the average person to try to explore. It’s messy in there. It’s filled with the odd booby trap or twelve. And I’m pretty sure there’s a slightly manic seven year old with some killer baking skills who might feed you till you explode. I’m rambling. I’m going somewhere with this I promise.

So today was mommy detail. That normally means an appointment that isn’t what she thought it would be followed by shopping that wasn’t discussed earlier but that I work into my schedule anyway and at least one stupid argument because I’m being rational and mom is being well mom. In that regard today was quite like most mommy detail days. The difference would be that I ended up in my car crying while waiting on her because I was frustrated with myself and the situation.

You have no reason to know this but I’ve been taking care of my mother, well most of my life actually since she and my father split, but in this iteration over a decade. She’s still a relatively young woman but because of illness, her own anxieties and insecurities it feels like I’m raising a temperamental seven to thirteen year old depending on the day. Other days she’s totally an adult and we have great conversations and crack up about life in general. I love those days a lot. Today like the majority of this week has not been one of those days. And it made me sad and frustrated and cry.

I won’t get into all of the particulars but for a decade my life has been a series of adjustments and sacrifices surrounding what I need to do with her. If she was my child I would totally get that and take it as part of the job I signed up for but I so would not have volunteered for this gig. And if I’m honest I didn’t volunteer when the situation presented itself. My brother lived in state, had room for her and begged her to come stay with him and his wife. She turned them down and insisted she could live with me and would promise to leave me alone after I got married so I could have a break and my husband and I could settle in to life together. The fact that that makes no sense to me doesn’t matter. What good is a few years alone and hitting our routine if she’s just coming back. Plus if he can’t deal with her upfront then we have a problem because she really can’t go anywhere else. I know I’ve mentioned some of that before but it just hit me again today that THIS was my life and short of a few vacations that I almost always feel guilty for taking there is no time for me to relax and enjoy and hell just have loud messy orgasms when she’s home. Again if there were kids involved I get it but no one in this house is under the age of 30 lol.

I am trying to do a better job of managing all of that but it’s still hard to juggle. Some of it I’m sure came from talking with a fellow submissive who bit the proverbial bullet and moved across the country to be with her Dom leaving parents behind. I am seriously happy for her I am but it reminded me that for at least the most immediate future this isn’t a possibility for me. I slept on that and was good until I was standing in the store arguing about summer robes and why no one had them cause she needed a robe for the random moments it was night time and someone else in the house might see her while she was visiting my brother. I called a friend who told me that I really had to start doing more but it’s hard to do more for me even when logically I know she can take care of some of this on her own. The stuff that she can’t take care of makes me nervous. In ten years I’ve seen her memory impairment get worse. And she’s had some mood swings that would be depression in anyone else but she refuses to address them as such. She doesn’t engender caretaker vibes in my brother or I. At this point, years of unfiltered mommy moments has bruised all that affection. But something there still makes me feel like I have to take care of the things that she can’t.

Understanding of the situation has not made it much better. Working out, committing to my job, enjoying life when I can has not made it all better. What I want doesn’t mesh with the life I’m living and am momentarily obligated to continue. I am feeling more centered now. And a good cry never hurt anyone. It’s just not how I normally like to enjoy the rain. That’s for another time and post though.

Dear Mr. Dom: I Think I Lust Ya

For those of you that remember Prince please take a moment to remember U Got The Look.  I’d link it for you but as much as I love my purple boo thing I’m not trying to meet him in court.  Unless maybe we’re settling a palimony lawsuit after we’ve spent a decade together and I’ve inspired the greatest love song ever written.  But that’s not likely, I’m too old and round for him lol.  Anyhoo, that tangent aside please just think about the song if you can as you read along.

Dear. Mr. Dom
I’m not sure if you’ve noticed I am a stubborn kind of girl
I struggle with what I’m thinking and how I’m feeling
Part of me is aching, screaming out for you
The most that may come from my lips is
“I think I, I think I lust ya”
The men that can’t hurt me
Are easy to manipulate
They don’t ooze through my brain and seep through my pores
Leaving me desperate and begging for more
Unlike you I can tell them what I need
But at most you’ll ever hear from me is
“I think I, I think I lust ya”
There will be moments you are unsure I am even interested
I will apologize to you for that now
Just know that in the secret part of my twisted depraved little heart
I genuinely just don’t know how to say more than
“I think I, I think I lust ya”
I’m looking forward to being under your thumb
To seeing just deep down the rabbit hole your
Wonderfully sadistic creative brain goes
Know that I’ll be in a state of euphoria so deeply fulfilling
That words won’t come nearly as easy as the tears my orgasms do
So remember again and each time we meet that
“I think I, I think I lust ya”

elust 67 super delayed

This post came out last month but for some reason I didn’t know I had made the cut till I started getting pingbacks.  Here ya go!

Welcome to Elust #67

The only place where the smartest and hottest sex bloggers are featured under one roof every month. Whether you’re looking for sex journalism, erotic writing, relationship advice or kinky discussions it’ll be here at Elust. Want to be included in Elust #68? Start with the rules, come back March 1st to submit something and subscribe to the RSS feed for updates!

For our UK readers, we would like to make a special request that you take a moment and fill out this petition to repeal the new censorship laws.

~ This Month’s Top Three Posts ~

Yes, Squirting is Real (And it’s not pee.)

These men make me SO angry

Still Kinky After All These Years


~ Featured Post (Molly’s Picks) ~

When It Rains
You want me to read what?


~ Readers Choice from Sexbytes ~

*You really should consider adding your popular posts here too*
Due to technical difficulties there is no Readers Choice selection this month

All blogs that have a submission in this edition must re-post this digest from tip-to-toe on their blogs within 7 days. Re-posting the photo is optional and the use of the “read more…” tag is allowable after this point. Thank you, and enjoy!


Thoughts & Advice on Kink & Fetish

How to Make Time for Kinky Fuckery
Submissive Power Is Hot Stuff
Topping from the Bottom
Property Milestone
Dead Heat
Submissive power and the storms of life
I Talk A Lot, But Not About That
I Just Want To Be Me
What I Get Out Of Locking A Man in Chastity
BDSM and pick-up artists

Sex News, Opinion, Interviews, Politics & Humor

Socks and Sex
Marsala? The Color of My Panties? Who Knew?

Erotic Fiction

Short Strokes: Molasses Makes Me Horny
12 Step Homeopathic Remedy for Scorned Lovers
Alice’s Wonderland
Feel His Breath On Me
Out For A Walk
Playing in the Band
Coming Pretty
The Fall
Erotica After Hours
Dancing in the Dark

Thoughts & Advice on Sex & Relationships

Make Love to Me
I Used to Fake Orgasms. This is Why I Stopped


Brigitta – A Lusty Limerick

Erotic Non-Fiction

With a very sharp knife
black bra and g-string
Meeting Slave Olive for a Cash Point Meet
LachrymoseWhen Two Doms Play…Fuck Tender!




ELust Site Badge

I think I love Nick Jonas

Ok not LITERALLY Nick Jonas but whomever is inspiring/helping him write some of his new stuff totally has a hotline into my brain.  I will crank up Jealous in the car as long as it not the remix.  I like when men get jealous over the girl with the big brain and used to be bigger boobs lol who is a big old flirt.  But when I heard Chains I nearly had to pull over and let my fingers go exploring.

The song starts playing and I swear my brain must quiet enough that it taps into that good girl core.  Tap tap tap and I feel fingers crawling up my spine.  They snake up until my eyes close and little puffs of smoke caress my cerebellum and I hear a smirk impressed that it can do in 15 seconds what I can’t do on my own.  By the time the chorus starts my body is swaying and shivering as I imagine a long heavy silver chain against my naked back that I keep fastening around my throat when it feels like I might be set free.  I don’t have to see whose holding them just need to feel that imaginary tug and hear that last refrain and I’m a happy happy girl–trying to break the chains but the chains only break me.

One of Those Girls

I think too much.  I do it often unless I make myself stop.  I do it even more when I’m not feeling well which has been my life since a week ago at this point.  I want to know the when and the why and what might be better or good enough and when will I be satisfied.  Truthfully I can never answer that question.  I am momentarily gratified more often these days.  Dinner tastes great.  That lesson went well.  My hair isn’t driving me nuts.  And then there are the moments that would drive someone else crazy if they actually were able to see the wheels spinning.  My skin is uneven, I like that shade of chocolate there but not this one here, why are my eyes so dark, I will kick your ass in name that tune and Jeopardy and trivia and lots of other shit, my voice so deep, who decided it was necessary for hair to grow on my face, why the fuck is it gray like for real why is this shit gray, am I the only one not watching Scandal or Empire or How to Get Away With Murder, I think grandma was right to revoke my Black card cause soul food is going to kill me and I don’t really like it, I am loud, I can be painfully shy, I leave little to no flesh on your bones if I hate your opinion or think you are stupid, then I think damn he’s pretty, I wish he thought I was pretty, no I wish he would just bend me over and fuck me into a stupor, where did that confident bitch that used to live here go, have you seen her, tell me if you see her.  Ok even I can toss in a funny every now and then.

What to do when you think too much should be an ongoing theme here as it ebbs and flows and is pushed and pulled by so many little factors in my life.  What I’d like is a magic little phrase or pill or better yet cookie that turns my brain off sometimes.  Thinking about every little thing is mind numbing and can cause a kind of paralysis which makes nothing good come to pass.  Girls with big brains, I am guessing the same would happen to men in the same situation though, can be our own worst enemies.  There are days that I long to be swept off my feet and wrapped up in the wonder of a man with stronger Jedi mind tricks than my own.  The problem is eventually I start to look at the relationship like a giant chess match.  When he slows down, my hand starts hitting the timer faster and faster and before long he’s been checked so we won’t be mated and I’m bored again.  I know I’m too rational for most.  If I let myself love you then rationally I know you will likely hurt me so if at all possible I’ll play out the mental chess match quickly and avoid the emotional baggage.  I don’t have a remedy for that though.  I don’t have a switch in my brain yet that says too much thinking enough already.  Then again that wouldn’t be a switch it would likely be a steam whistle because my brain got overheated but yeah its not there either.

So it keeps coming to the fore that I am one of those girls that is enamored of so much that is girly and feminine but who yet to nail just being in the moment and experiencing life and love and adventure without overthinking it.  I am a master thinking too much.  This year would be my year of changes for some of that, it hasn’t totally worked but I have bitten the proverbial bullet in a few regards.  I am planning to attend Shibaricon in May.  BlackBeat is out for 2015 so poo but come July I am taking my first international trip as an adult with no familial ties.  I booked my ticket yesterday as my coughing fits started to ease up.  I will book the hotel in the next week or so.  Passport waved at me after the ticket was confirmed so yeah.  I double checked that I needed no shots to make the trip and today as a bit of kismet I found out that my intended destination is one #5 of the 10 safest cities in the world to live in.  I can’t stay there but it eases a little of the think too much mantra from overrunning my brain.

You know I think part of me writing is because I can live out whole lives for other people in the space between my ears.  Random bit of think too much there for you.  It came out of no where as I was getting ready to wrap this up.  So it appears that without a lobotomy or heavy drug usage or getting cum drunk (other random insight I think that’s why I like that so much) my brain doesn’t shut down enough to always let me enjoy and embrace life.  What tips do you have for one of those girls who wants to let go but is cursed to think too much?

TTF Part 6: a red velvet primer

This may not turn into a full on primer post but I have been thinking about things a lot lately, as I am often prone to do when my life is going well.  I nitpick at things and wonder what I could be better or what is keeping me semi stuck.  Really nothing is except my own brain.  I can become quite fixated on how I think something should be or how I feel something should be and ignore all data to the contrary.  This is why my exes and men in general can easily say that I’m not super emotional until I suddenly am upset.  I keep emotion at bay because it tends to steer me in the wrong direction a lot.  I lust for the rush but in the end that rush cannot be sustained and I get anxious then annoyed then weepy then doubtful until I’m finally just indifferent.  Truth be told I hate indifferent.  I know why it comes because it’s a self protective mode but seriously hate that mood state because it just brings down everything for a while.  On the upside when it passes I am usually happier and able to focus again on the rest of the world instead of what I’m longing for and what I know won’t come in the way I’ve been holding on to.  Today could have been all kinds of bad but as I have felt myself moving through indifference the last few days I took the time I had on hand to read, make some plans, plot my vacation this summer and then get annoyed because a major event has been scheduled at the same time as a work conference that I now have to plan around.  But even that hasn’t made me delve back into funky.  I have good friends, good options and will be enjoying my first major vacation to a foreign land this summer.  Plus I’m still losing weight and have ridiculous orgasms lol.  I’m a happy girl even if things are quite lined up as my wistful heart may have wanted.