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Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Just a Quickie: New Presents for Me

I got my vintage color block heels today and opted to grab another vintage pair in red cause who doesn't need red heels?  And an even better present arrived today.






This is the ohmibod blue motion.  It's a nicely curved vibrator that can be controlled by an app on your phone.  It's wireless, the light you see right now is because it's charging, and comes with a wearable thong to keep it in place.  Run time when fully charged is about an hour but that's only if you can take it on that long.  I had it cranked up a bit because I was watching a gang bang video and I wanted to kill a kitten quickly.  I left more of the raised nubbin on my clit and enjoyed myself.  I tried a few of the settings and about 2 minutes into the intense setting I exploded once and then about 20 seconds later went off again.  It was fantastic.  I got this as part of the indiegogo campaign ohmibod was running but they are on the website now.  The tech support is fantastic as well.  LOVE it.  Now I need to decide if I'm going to let anyone use the remote control access.  Hmm what do you think?

Oh and y'all have left our heroine passed out in the bed for at least a week now.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Ok So I'm Feeling Better

Not only has the funk lifted so has one week of god awful girl trouble.  Thanks to modern medicine cause I without drugs at least one of you out there would have died a bloody painful epic death at my hands.  But hey pharmaceutical interventions are amazing so I'm not in jail and no one is dead.

Not only is my mood improved but the kitties have resumed their untimely death as a result of my orgasmic output.  And in a red velvet first, I actually sacrificed a great big kitten while watching myself get licked and plundered.  Mostly plundered but the licking was good too.  Actually quite good.  Off tangent.  I've been recorded quite a few times prior to now and I've recorded myself to share with others but generally speaking I don't watch them later.  No particular reason why not it just hasn't registered that I need to.  I was frustrated in the shower and nothing was making it better so I got out, grabbed my tablet and fired up part two of my most recent play date.  It was more than enough to get me off clearly and yeah it's not as disturbing as I thought it would be.

I have been indulging in my vintage fetish as well.  I found an adorable pair of pumps from Chelsea Crew and need to find another pair from her cause I lust them and they would look good with a dress I bought at Heart of Haute.  However, my biggest expenditure came after trolling Fetlife the other day.  I love vintage lingerie like lust for it.  But as I am not a petite gal by any stretch finding something attractive and in my size has been more difficult.  Well turns out I had seen this piece before but again being a less than petite gal had trouble finding it and when I did it was never in stock.  Turns out I wasn't checking every place that I could so after looking again and taking more measurement than I have ever to make sure both my ample ass and unfortunately larger than I want it to be tummy would be accommodated I placed an order.  I mostly want them so I can wear them to the kinky event I'm heading to next month but if they fit like I hope then there will be lots of photos taken for no other reason than I will be SMOKING hot lol.

And if that wasn't enough I found out that my new vibe that has remote app access has shipped and will be hear early next week.  Now the question becomes do I give access to one of the people that make me cum or do I just keep it to myself and torment you with the potential opportunity to make me burst.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Greetings from the Subbieverse

So I have not completely bounced back but a little bit of work helped out a great deal more than I thought.  And I got the check engine light on my car turned off again even though at some point I need to take it back to the flipping dealer so they can tell me what the issue is this time.  Well I know what it is, I need them to fix it and keep it fixed longer than a month.

I know I'm not feeling all the way on again because I haven't tried to get off in the shower.  That will sound silly but yeah as I'm washing up at last one finger goes after my clit.  I never rub long just enough to get a good ohh out and make my ass pop out a bit.  Boys you should know that movement and if you don't then you haven't been rubbing her spot well.  In my case too, toying with my clit while it's still safely tucked away is nice but really make it pop out and enjoy yourself.  When my clit is very very happy it looks like a pink version of my nipples which hey seem to be popular.  Even as I just rambled all of that out right now I'm not aroused, not even smiling that much--ok at all, which means I'm not quite centered. 

I was going to attribute part of this to another round of subdrop but that's not it either.  I hate feeling out of control or out of sorts.  Another ill timed conversation made me feel both and there was no one here or available to get me to refocus on something quickly.  I give HPP credit he did make me giggle and stop crying but that combined with other stuff this week just threw me off.

I'm sure I'll get out of my funk soon enough.  It would be great to be flogged into that happy place that makes all of this other stuff kind of disappear by default but not available just yet.  That's on the agenda though.  If I'm not better by then I'll probably return home injured.

Monday, July 14, 2014

I'll Be Honest: I Don't Understand Men

There used to be a time when I thought I had men all figured out.  Horny, stupid, emotional, friendly, needing a wife type.  I could figure them out, act accordingly if I chose and keep it pushing.  Over the last ten years or so, as I have settled more into who I am as a submissive and what I need from the men I choose to have around me it has come to my attention I don't have a flipping clue how they operate, what they want, what they really need, or why they behave as they do once they get any of those aforementioned boxes checked off the way the want.

The ones that register with that place in my brain that makes my submission coalesce into a mini state of nirvana tend to be unreliable at best.  They fire me up and then I fizzle.  I hate fizzling.  Fizzle is just an unhappy word.  It messes with the psyche. 

I don't trust the ones that blatantly want me.  Nothing in my experience tells me those men will be around that long either.  For totally different reasons, maybe once the lust is satiated I'm just an afterthought or I worry I will be and that freaks me out too.

I want some nice balance of the two but that has yet to work out either--him got shipped out and never to be seen again.

Moments like these make me feel flawed and small and honestly stupid for not figuring this out yet.  I really hate feeling like this.  Really really hate it.

Sunday, July 13, 2014

Let's Play Together Part 3

Where we left off....

She was tempted to unleash a torrent of insults at him but knew that wouldn't end well so she took a moment to regroup.  She started begging as soon as she could breathe and her mind was semi clear.  He leaned against the wall, enjoying her frustration and whimpering.  He raised a finger to his lips and she went silent.  "Pick your next toy darling."


And now we begin....

Her brain was a mix of lust and hate.  She did this internal battle each time they were together for a long weekend.  She loved what her body ended up doing but there was a fight for control she had to lose each time to feel truly sated.  She was processing what was on the tray now that it was clearly in her line of vision.  If she could just get her legs free she would feel better so she asked for the wearable vibe that he could control with his smart phone thinking he'd have to untie her to put on the panties. 

He smirked as her voice cracked in her throat and panted out that she chose the vibe.  For some reason she continued to forget that he was usually a step or two ahead of her when her head got fuzzy.  He grabbed the vibe and inserted it into the black panties that were made for the toy.  He placed it on the bed between her thighs and fingered at the rope on her right ankle and waited for her leg to jerk.  He stroked her inner thigh and watched her eyes flutter until they closed and she began to moan.  Her foot toyed in his lap trying to encourage him to free her from her bonds.  He chuckled and moved it away as he stood up.

"I'm sure you're about to be disappointed but I'm not untying you.  Stop glaring at me.  It's not my fault.  They upgraded the vibe and the panties a bit since I last used it on you.  Today will be quite interesting."

He picked up the panties and unhooked the sides.  He patted her derriere and she raised up so he could slide them under her like a very sexy diaper.  The sting of humiliation was there in her gaze as he fastened her in and adjusted them so the raised edge of the vibrator was pressed firmly against her pussy and clit.  "Yes yes I know not what you were expecting.  You wanted those legs free but not this time my dear."  He turned and walked towards the door.  "I'm going to have a bit of coffee and I know the smell bothers you so I'll be downstairs."

She looked petrified that she would just be left there waiting for him to return.  As his foot hit the bottom of the stairs she felt the vibe come to life.  The pattern was erratic though.  Sometimes light to nearly non existent and other times shaking her with so much force she was sure she'd break an ankle as she flailed around on the bed.  Wave of orgasms built and crested over and over again.  Her wetness betrayed her fear and she wished she understood what rhythm the vibe was operating to this morning.  Just as another thunderous orgasm began to build making her body tingle and her brain slowly forget her predicament, he reappeared in the doorway.

She didn't completely comprehend what he was doing at first but it slowly registered why the pulsations had been all over the place since he left.  It was reacting to his voice.  When he was just breathing near the phone she got light feathery touches like he was caressing her under the table at dinner.  When it became more aggressive those were the moments he was explaining how he planned to fuck her like a bitch in heat and make her every bit the cum slut he knew her to be.  Those vague moments in the middle just seemed to be in response to him talking to the television or mumbling to himself.

Soon he was taunting her like he often did when he was fucking her and the pulse got more and more insistent.  One orgasm hadn't fully subsided before the device leached another from her now sweat covered body.  He called her a cunt, his personal cum slut, a perfect little masochistic toy all in a rush.  When he cooed be a good little girl for daddy, her body let loose a powerful orgasm along with an extended shriek.  She didn't get a chance to pick out the next toy though because at that very moment the orgasm rendered her unconscious.


So what should she be woken up to ladies and gents?

Friday, July 11, 2014

Worked on my Three R's

That of course would be reading, writing and recovering.  Yeah I know one of those is a W but if you much about American education that whole reading, writing and arithmetic is standard or was once upon a time.  Now it just seems to be about pass the test so your teacher doesn't get fired.

So to start with, I got knew smutty books to read.  One being the Big Book of Submission, check the side bar to buy it via Amazon.  A collection of short stories that were edited by Rachel Kramer Bussel, one of my sheroes as she combines good writing with knowledge of kink and love of cupcakes.  I would so invite her to be part of the kinky Stepford Wives community if such a thing existed lol.  The other book is about submission and is by Kacie Cunningham called Conquer Me.






As for the writing my book is now in the editor's hands and is going to be edited within an inch of its life.  Well it's not alive but hey whatever.  The short stories need a thorough going over from someone that is not me and then I can see what my options are after this to publish on my own or through a traditional publisher which is my preference but is probably less likely.  I'm still waiting to hear if I made it into any of the four anthologies I submitted to but considering how many submissions each received I'm guessing that's more of a long shot than I thought it was before when I originally submitted.

The recovery is due to spending a few days with HPP who really is a bit on the voracious and insatiable side of things.  I cannot fully express that I have literally never cum that much or hard in my entire life.  We were mostly naked for nearly three days but that was interspersed with jokes and food and laughing at the tv and figuring out why folks should have been dead on the new 24 as well as roasting WWE this week.  It was almost like I had a life again even though I never slept through the night cause he makes my insomnia look like a sleeping sickness and whenever the moment struck him I was woken up by a very eager and forceful tongue which reminded me why I could never be a lesbian.  Men's tongues are rough and the facial hair oh my damn so good, friction makes me happy.  Mind you once I returned home I wanted to disappear again cause that lady that birthed me drove me fucking crazy but orgasms and photos are great reminders.  If I like you then you can ask for one but you may not get them like at all.

Ok off to enjoy the rest of the day.

Friday, July 04, 2014

Let's Play Together Part 2

Where we left off........

He ran a finger up the inside of her right thigh at an agonizingly slow pace.  Her skin began to become a series of goose bumps as his finger reached into her pussy to assess her wetness.  "Such a good girl, always wet when you wake up."  He turned his back to her to look over the table of implements he had waiting for her.  His hand never left her center and was languidly toying around her g-spot.  "What should I use on you first today slut," he asked as his voice trailed over his shoulder.

And so we begin.........

She seriously hated when she did this.  You would never be able to tell from how wet she was but that wasn't a fair marker either.  Being near him made her wet.  Him touching her made her wet.  His fingers invading her folds made her drip.  And her she was irritated as hell while her body betrayed her yet again.  She saw a glint of something pink in his hand before he began talking again.

"Ahh this won't hurt as much as it fucks with your brain.  The sound it makes before it makes contact with your thighs always makes you jump more than the impact."  He pulled his fingers out of her soppy wet pussy and dried them on her thigh before he stood up.  He pulled off the jacket he had worn out to an early meeting and loosened his collar still flipping the ruler around in his other hand.  He put the ruler down in her line of vision as he unfastened the cuffs of his sleeves and rolled them up.  He knew she felt even more debased when she was nude and he wasn't so this was an extra treat for him.

He grabbed the ruler without saying another word and in a very deliberate manner proceeded to crisscross her thighs the misappropriated school supply.  She was whining and glaring at him but nothing out of the norm for their warm ups.  When he let the ruler slip and slap her clit she yelped.  It made him smirk and she watched in slight horror as the edges of his mouth moved into a demented smile.  He alternated smacking her thighs, clit and the length of her slit in maddening fashion until she was raising her ass up to meet his blows and cursing him at the same time.  When she was on the edge of her next orgasm, he moved away from her and put the ruler back on the tray of toys.

She was tempted to unleash a torrent of insults at him but knew that wouldn't end well so she took a moment to regroup.  She started begging as soon as she could breathe and her mind was semi clear.  He leaned against the wall, enjoying her frustration and whimpering.  He raised a finger to his lips and she went silent.  "Pick your next toy darling."


What should she pick from the waiting tray?