confusion, seduction, prostitution lol (not really)

Saturday, August 13, 2005
Yeah okay not original I know but eh get over it. I've been functioning on about five hours of sleep and folks have interrupted every catnap I've tried to take. I may have hooked up a sub wannabe and a domme in training so that makes me smile. When she reads this she's going to hurt me but she should know by know that I'd like that so it's pointless ROFLMAO. Well not as much as if Emperor did it but that's a different story entirely. Despite my sleep deprivation, it's been mostly a good day.

I've been chatting with one of Emperor's latest flirtation victims and wondering what makes me any different from here. Of course, I've asked before and I've gotten a nice answer but isn't a man in lust full of nice answers. In a way, this has been good therapy for myself. I'm no where near as delusional as she is but three days of seeing disinterest turn into malice has again made me wonder about this man that keeps saying He wants to be my teacher. The sadistic side greatly intrigues me of course, I mean I'm a bit of an extreme masochist, but for Him to run that hot and cold and still telling me that I am a wanted possession. And as you read yesterday, I want to be one of His toys but I can't help but feel a bit troubled. Part of me wants to speak to Him and return to my life of random men but the part He was able to snatch into His palm is screaming don't you dare. At least not until....until what I'm not sure at all but not yet. I am just confused but I am reminded how much our mind has to do with our lust and our love and our inability to move beyond when we would tell others to do the same. Eventually my hand will be pushed, I was just hoping it would be pushed by Him back into a tight rope. Gonna go roam the net and get some studying in.

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2 comments

  1. I'm still going to find someone to punish you. I may be a few years behind you in BDSM, but I learn quickly. Your time will come, my pretty pretty. >:)

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