i'm wondering if....

Wednesday, September 28, 2005
okay i'm having a moment here. i greatly enjoy the time i get to spend with Emperor online and in person. i enjoy when i do something to gain His favor. it makes me smile to know that He is pleased. but it doesn't feel like a comfortable situation right now. i'm sure i'm being sensitive unnecessarily so but it is not fun to wonder if He is okay, if i'll hear from Him, what i can do to make Him happy. i want to know what He needs from me and it seems as though i'm really stressing Him out instead of helping. again i may just be expecting too much, and not in terms of us running off into the sunset to live happily ever after, but maybe He's just occupied with work and another upcoming trip. i'm not sure i just need a better focus. so i'll just keep reading and waiting and wondering for now.

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3 comments

  1. damn........you and i are one.......see inside my mind.........look into my eyes.

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  2. are we really now? what would i see behind your eyes?

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  3. I feel as you do so often... Like I'm bothering Him being too needy... ;-( Stressing Him because I want too much... I am trying to respect his pace... but iti hard...;-(

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