happy halloween

Monday, October 31, 2005
i may come back and post later but for right now i hope everyone is having a good day.

love,
velvet

ETA: this may be long or not, just depends on how the words get to flowing, let's begin.............

i am tired. i am tired of a multitude of things though. i worked today of course. all six of my clients arrived and save the hour i had for lunch that meant i was booked solid today. i love my job but days like today are very draining especially when there is no one home to connect to and feel whole and seperate from my job with.

before i left for my trip to see Emperor, i went through my standard girly beauty things and got my nails done. they put an acrylic overlay on my fingenails which did help them grow but was driving me insane. i had them taken off tonight as i got a great pedicure today. first time i had one from a guy but i HIGHLY recommend them. men just have a different touch when massaging various things. nothing remotely sexual there lol it just is a different feeling.

i just got off the phone with my mother whom you haven't heard much about and i am trying to keep it that way. she was very ill last year but has made mostly a full recovery. however, all the childish traits she had before are now ten times worse and she seems incapable of doing even basic things for or by herself. she just called because she is throwing yet another tantrum about when she can move in with me and i had to tell her NO she could not move in with me in the next two days. and no i wasn't checking on how much a ticket would be. she wants to act an ass do it on her time and leave me the the fuck alone. i know that sounds harsh and a wee bit uncaring but my mother still has doctor's appointments and checkups she just wants to skip because she's mad at someone else. that's too damn bad and i'm tired of it. she's being doing this since she was released from the hospital in december and honestly i just can't deal with it right now.

i am tired of petty people in all their shapes and sizes and incarnations. add to that pile the people that are basically fake and tiresome and ignorant and who are contrary just to be contrary. my body is getting weary from toting other people's baggage and even considering changing who i am to please them. thankfully that thought left my mind quickly.

i would much rather be curled up in whatever costume Emperor thought fitting for the evening and tending to Him. then whatever exhaustion i'm feeling i know would have been rewarded even if it was just His face relaxing as He drifted off to sleep or He decided i had behaved well enough to get another spanking (oh lovely thoughts lovely thoughts).

forgive me if i brought anyone down, i just needed to get that off of my chest. i might even turn in excessively early tonight and sleep off the drama that is my monday and relax into restful dreams of Emperor.

night
velvet

ps if anyone sees searabbit wish her well, her blog was gone again today.

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3 comments

  1. AhAh... Nope... I'm here... and He is asleep... so I can dance all I want...lolol... Hummm.. but I am close to bed...;-((
    Please, please... do not feel guilty about not wanting your mom with you... you are still young and have no need of that by now... say it nicely, harschly... whatever... but say it...
    I only wish your Emperor would be as 'big' as you are... I mean about feelings, and meanings...I think you are one of the most sincere person I read... and I wish you well... more than you even want... ;-))
    Have a good night red velvet...

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  2. Hi sea...*waving*
    I hope you get some time with your Emperor soon! It sounds like you could use that right now. :)
    Take care...

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  3. thanks shyanne. i could always use time with Emperor lol but i am feeling much better today.

    :)

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