101 tales from the subverse

Monday, November 21, 2005
the nice man above is for display purposes only lol. okay there really won't be 101 tales from our universe. i don't have that much to say i promise. i just wanted to bask in the 100th post for a moment and i have properly done so. today started off a hot flaming mess. i was in pain, a gruesome unspeakable pain until about ten this morning. as soon as that passed the day was good. my clients were focused. my staff meeting quickly disintergrated into something just shy of hilarious and i was finally at peace in my own mind. life was as it should be even though as usual i barely got a moment to breathe before i had worked my full day and was headed back home. all in all it was a good day really. and now my eye candy is unexpectedly on tv (see link), i so don't get sports entertainment lol but i do so enjoy drooling over the man above when he is half naked and abusing someone in the ring.

anyway, thanks for all your well wishes as the blog passes its 100 post milestone. as the posts keep climbing the nice people that visit me are expanding from the states, canada and the UK to scattered parts of europe and asia and australia. i know some folks won't be able to read it without a translator software but i hope it makes sense when you are able to do so. i am thoroughly enjoying the attention lol but i do hope that you get something out of it for those of you that are repeat guests.

okay moving on, the peace i felt today cannot be attributed to any one thing. as i moved through the day i just think i became more comfortable with my decisions as of late. i had to go through all those interesting relationships prior to now in order to fully accept what i have chosen to accept for myself now. i had to accidentally run across the person that has altered my life so dramatically in the last few months. i had to go through all of my growing pains as of late in order to decide if this path, this trek towards total submission, is really what i want. i can honestly say yes it is. now the question remains will that path continue to include Emperor or not. one of the things that i have spent all day at peace with is that i truly want to be with Emperor. i want Him plain and simple. i get frustrated, i get upset and i get cranky but most of that can evaporate with a few simple words from Him. yes most of it will go away but i haven't been walked to the end of the path yet. since i'm still midstream in that there will be residual resentment from time to time. times like now lol. i am ready to sit still and i'm doing it without much reservation at this point. i have to quell that voice that is still thinking of this as an autonomous situation. that is not what we have. i am His pet, He is my Emperor. and i really am happy with that more often than not. i am peaceful today partly because i have accepted that. i have some more of the road to see but i can admit that a good ways to go. i can admit that my resentment is based on insecurity but again this is because i'm still on the path and not firmly planted at His feet. i'm rushing there when i need to be patient. aww but patience is not a virtue i have totally developed. i'm working on it though. and as i work on me i hope that He will as well. continue to mold me into His perfect pet and allow me closer into His world. all of this is irrelevant at the moment. i'm happy boys and girls, very happy.

see ya
red

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