early morning ponderings

Tuesday, December 27, 2005
for those of you that don't read the comments regularly i am back from the icky place. damn subverse. fear is not a good relationship motivator. i know that He wants me and if He didn't that He is not the type of person that would beat around the bush about it. it doesn't stop the panic from overtaking me like it did yesterday morning. i have long since relinquished my demands on being the leader for my relationships. stability is often what i'm thinking i do not have when i get upset or needy. really though He's never been anything but steadfast with me and i have to respect that. what i'm wanting then is reassurance that the massive distance between us is nothing more than a temporary barrier and that He is happy with His pet. i get it just usually not in the way i'm expecting which is what disorients me. i'm still looking for vanilla signs that He wants me in a situation that is so far from vanilla we'd need a map to get back to it. my fears have tapered off significantly. it was that damn dream i swear. but i'm back and better now.

the quiz results below are funny but i won't get into why. just take them and tell me what you get. in a few days i may post a story i wrote ages ago dealing with bdsm as i saw it at the time. it wasn't very intense, sort of flowery now that i think about it. her submission to her husband though was quite complete and it's something i am striving for myself. to be so at ease and at peace that the simple act of turning on my car at the end of the day means i am once again totally His. yes that will most definitely require a move. it's a move i'm hoping to be ready for soon. there are too many nights when my body literally aches to be near Him and while i do eventually fall asleep nothing makes that an easy evening. i want to disappear with Him for long weekends and enjoy that limp back to my office knowing He caused it and that i will happily be going back for more. ahhh i do so love this feeling. night all, the next time i post i'll have a roommate lol.



Fish
Fish


?? Which Creature Of The Sea Are You??
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YES YES! OH BABY!
why do you deserve a good spanking?

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HASH(0x8c3a5d8)
What type of spanking do you crave?

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Professor/naughty student, Prison guard/prisoner, Boss/secretary, any or all may appeal to you.

A spanking role play is just what you are looking for, and any implement that suits your choice of scene would "hit the spot".

Hmmmm....crooked handled canes, office rulers, a pair of hand cuffs and a strap, oh my! ;)

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