just checking in

Monday, December 26, 2005
i guess i totally forgot about not posting as much lol. it's the middle of the night so i have a moment to do this. i am heavy lidded so i may not be adding much to the blog right now. being home with my family, with nothing to worry about save when to wake up and what to eat, has been healing in a way i can't really speak to. talking to friends and actually remembering why i wanted to talk to them and giggling instead of being frustrated also a good thing. curling up with Emperor as i fell asleep would have been nice too but this is what i needed right now and i'm glad that i still have people that let me in the house lol.

santa brought me free shopping money to some of my favorite stores so i'll be looking for some things maybe the week i go back to work. i have a doctor's appointment that week as well to tend to the horrific pain mother nature wreaks upon me every 28 days or so. santa also brought me three new cabbage patch kids (yes i'm 30 and i still love getting dolls lol) and some new scented lotions and a purse that will be accompanying me to the ball i have to attend in february. yes we get all dressed up and girly to raise money for scholarships so we'll see how that goes. my mother may go with me since she'll be there then.

speaking of my mother lol. my submission to Emperor has meant some surface changes that everyone has noticed as well as some internal ones that very few people will pick up on. my mother is tickled to no end about the things i'll mention in a second. she just assumed as i was aging that i finally abandoned all things tomboy and am FINALLY becoming her long awaited dress up doll. i didn't have the heart to tell her otherwise so let's just keep that between us. the first thing she noticed was my hair. every year around this time i hack it off. either out of frustration, necessity or because i got bored but it's gone before my annual trip to the family. this year not so much and she has spent hours playing in the hair that will hopefully be brushing my shoulders by the ball. then she noticed that not only were my toes not looking like "claws" (they never were but mommy exaggerates a bit) they were also painted. ahhh and the culmination of her happy happy joy joy moment--letting her sniff the perfume that i recently purchased. she was convinced then that i was FINALLY the little girl she always wanted. and i am someone's perfect litle girl i just don't think it's mommy's lol. but shhh we'll keep that between us right now. no need to give the woman a heart attack.

i see that all is not well in the subverse so i need to beat whatever higher diety controls the ebbs and flows. RIGHT now is supposed to be a happy moment for all of us. but if you are not currently happy just be happy that this moment will end soon and you can start fresh next year.

hugs and extra kisses to all that need it
red

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