daydreaming

Saturday, February 04, 2006



okay so i'm roaming around the bedroom at the moment. i woke up early to get the paper and then went promptly back to bed. i found the most exquisite roses that i want to grow the other day and of course cannot find them now that i want to talk about them. taken from this site purple roses mean the following things:

Purple roses stand for enhancement, magnification, opulence, majesty and glory and mean I will always love you. Lavender roses symbolize caution and the need to proceed slowly and carefully. Lavender roses also indicate a need for discretion but it is also becoming widely accepted as representing love at first sight and enhancement. Burgundy roses mean unconscious beauty. Lilac represents the first emotions of love.

while i like lavendar roses they are so pale as to not do much for me. i love dark purple roses but they are increasingly difficult to find especially for purchase. some are artificially died that way but they seem artificial and thus less attractive. if anyone sees any dark purple roses please let me know. i would love to grow them immediately.

anyway, i haven't done my usual roam around blogland as of yet. i would imagine that most of you are off enjoying the ones you love/lust after lol and i really am just stirring. this time next week i'll be preparing to board a plane and disappear for the weekend. when i get back i'm sure that some things will be more clear for me and about our relationship. things are slightly clearer now but i need to be with Him to make sure that i'm not just lost in some random emotions about Him and this lifestyle. i'm not miraculously happy but i'm not in turmoil either. i'm just glad to be awake and have a clear plan for our reuninon in mind.

i've sort of felt like i was stagnating a bit in my progression. i can't do what He won't let me but He's not particularly invested in making me do things hundreds of miles away from Him. i do have random projects and tasks to get done but they are interspersed widely. if i was with Him things would be decidely different and that would be interesting considering my mother lives with me. yeah limping back into the house after every third date or so would be hilarious. but it would still be worth explaining if He was there to reclaim, refocus and renew me on a regular basis. my mother would never understand and if she would that would just creep me the hell out. all she knows right now is that He makes me happy and i'm comfortable with that at the moment. okay i am starving. my diet has been strange lately and i need to find some food. i might be back later. but really if you can find the roses let me know.

love ya
red

ETA: there are new shopping links along the left panel. i LOVE fairy goth mother but eros boutique has me all in a tizzy, it's great.

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