today is about peace

Tuesday, April 04, 2006
this will be long and rambling and doubtful to include anything remotely sexual so if you are interested in that skip down a few posts and enjoy the sugasm list as well as my latest sugasm offering. okay disclaimer is over time to start spilling it.

when i meant to write this earlier my brain was high on Roaming Soldier. it still is but the reality of the day has set in and i have to temper that a bit. not much but a bit. if God is good, and i know He is, this will be the last time i mention Emperor on these electronic pages. he has moved and quickly the same way i have and while i am tickled to death about Roaming Soldier i am also wondering what made Emperor so important to me that i was willing to put myself through all that emotional upheaval when, in little over a month, both of us are much happier with new people. it's one of those riddles wrapped up in a conuudrum kinda things. i was about to pack up my life and move across country--something he stated he wanted repeatedly--to be with someone who was making plans to be with someone else and is as attached to her as i have become to Roaming Soldier. it's just one of those funny how life works out thoughts. i am in no way shape or form planning to get back with Emperor. he taught me wonderful things but Roaming Soldier well he wants to be Daddy and damn it if i don't plan on letting him.

wonderful segue into what i planned on posting originally now that i think about it. i fell asleep early for me, it was before one a.m. to be sure and that just hardly ever happens. shortly after that Roaming Soldier was able to use that wonderfully limited time they give them to shoot me off a few instant messages. the first was simple and filled with those kisses i adore so much. then the next few had me in tears. i can't say he was profound or wonderfully poetic. he was just being himself and sharing what was on his mind at the time. obviously they were thoughts about me and the tears were VERY happy tears. i had to close my office door to give myself time to compose myself and to write him back. i told him as i told you all that what he wrote had me very happy and very teary eyed. when we were able to talk briefly this afternoon he told me that he hadn't intended on making me cry but he'd always be there to wipe them away. i mean how sweet is that? we moved on, talked about his daughter and his brother (poor thing) and about the impending triplets that will be added to the family soon. has red ever mentioned that RS has a twin brother and these triplets are screwing up my whole twins don't have twins thing? yeah well i guess they don't have twins they have triplets lol. not that we are planning on having ANY babies but with the twins that already run in my family and the total lack of them in the generation i belong to (did i also mention there are two sets born EVERY generation no skipping for my family noooo that would be too much like right) and his brother's triplets see how red is a little hestitant to even consider that as an option.

however, i am an old softie and i do like other people's newborns. we're both still young so we might change our minds. the only thing i know for certain is that i am doing my little happy dance as soon as i get inside my apartment today in thanks for the nice tall man you know as Roaming Soldier and all the smiles and giggles and lusty thoughts and tears and sheer moments of happiness he has given me in the last six weeks. yep it's been six weeks exactly today. normally that would freak me out, make me start looking for things to screw this up. but i don't want to this time. all i want is to keep it together while he's gone, get to know his daughter and family, hang out with Night Owl and make fun of people, hang out with Sidra and make fun of her, and be waiting on him to come back home and tell me that Daddy is there for both of his girls. this is purely tangental (that looks wrong but i am so not about to check it) but that both of his girls thing just made me think of a running joke i had with my actual father, whose birthday is two days before Roaming Soldiers by the way.

my dad used to call me his favorite daughter all the time. mind you there was ONLY me, i have two brothers but the only other estrogen heavy life force in the house would be his wife of the moment and an assortment of stepsisters---he would never EVER have been talking about them lol. and my reply back to him was, you keep playing and i'm gonna find that other daughter and beat her up. yeah you could say i was spoiled and didn't like sharing because well i was when it came to daddy. i definitely would not have been having the same conversations i am having with my dad that i have with Roaming Soldier and "Daddy" has a different connotation for me entirely when i call RS that but there is another little girl in his life and as she was there first i will finally have to learn how to share lol. nothing wrong with it this time because there are still things the big little girl can do with Daddy that we don't even want our brains to focus on with regards to the little little girl. and if you kept thinking it you are strange little pervs. well of course you are lol you are reading my blog. okay i have two more hours to kill and i think i am out of words for the moment. talk to you all later.

love ya
red

eta: oh by the way, referring to RS as just him is bothering me but he's not Him yet either, someone help me come up with a variation i like PLEASE

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8 comments

  1. How about his rank, capitalized? Unless he's a general, you aren't giving him "too much" respect by simply capitalizing.

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  2. lol you know somehow or other his rank never comes up, that is a good suggestion though, i'll check on it and see if i like it

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  3. hehe this is chris from blogshares I came by to check out the links. LOL

    I just wanted to say when I first read your blog a while back I was like oh god what A freak.

    NO OFFENSE MEANT!

    but I learned to have an open mind and this has opened up my mind to some new experiences that are slowly coming into my life.

    I love blogs when people are open and honest about there life and experiences =thanks for sharing.

    Hehe I no longer think the BDSM subject is like for weirdos and freaks.

    And I have a better understanding of it all :-)

    But yeah friggin friggin kind of still scares me a bit LOL :-)

    I hope this comment doesn't offend you I didn't mean too If I did :-)

    oh god what's is up with bloggers word verification I don't know if I can type all that. lol

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  4. thanks for stopping by chris and i'm glad that you were able to get something out of it. as for bdsm, the "community" is as diverse as the things that fall under the bdsm umbrella. most of us are quite normal lol.

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  5. don't act like you're one of the normal ones!! LOL

    This was an excellent post. A bit girly for me, but I like it when you think like this. I don't have to worry about you. I can't read the sugasm stuff yet. I'm so naive and innocent and all.

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  6. ROFLMAO at those last two sentances. you are soooooooooooooooooo not innocent, maybe not as umm educated as me on some things but you surely aren't a babe in the woods. glad you enjoyed the post and quit calling me girly.

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  7. Your display of enthusiasm and joy makes me smile.

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