all is well on molly's watch

Wednesday, August 23, 2006
okay so not everything is well but things are better. the lattice work holding up the semi delusion is firmly entrenched and doing it's job. as i told green latern earlier, i love Him and i know this struggle is worth it in the end. each day bonds us closer together and allows us to see one step further into our future. six months, one hundred and eighty or so days give or take, He walked into my life. with possibly the silliest line i've ever heard, no i take that back, i went to school in nashville and woo some of the menfolks were interesting to put it politely. anyway back to the line, A friend told me that you were in search of a little new loving. it just seemed sweet and cute and had a fair bit of corniness. anyone willing to embarass themselves to get to know me was worth at least a conversation. mind you i had badgered the hell out of Night Owl about Him for a few days before we actually talked but still the conversation could have been awkard and stilted and then i would have been annoyed.

however, much to the surprise of both of us, that wasn't the case. we have had easy, insightful, flaky, flirty, silly, mushy, loving and all around wonderful conversations since we met. the only time we felt even the slightest bit strange was the day He left for basic. neither one of us wanted to say what we were thinking because it seemed wholly impossible to be thinking that so soon. He was really going to miss me as much as i was going to miss Him and we had just met. save that moment though, the transition from perfect strangers to now has been fluid and more than either of us anticipated with that first ding on the im window. this situation has made us grow and change in ways that i don't think we could have seen then but this too has been for the benefit of both us and our family and friends. i know that i am stronger and more communicative about what it is i want, need and expect with everyone. and i have grown in my submission in a way i couldn't have ever dreamed of back when i finally could label what i am.

having His guidance and support and love has all been responsible for keeping me on this path. i am simultaneously juggling keeping things together at home, at work, getting to know Littlest Soldier and my extra activities with just being there for Him and trying to make the bizillion miles between us not seem so big when He gets time for joining me in securing the lattice work. the stories, the requests, the insinuated plans for my backside have all led me to be deeply and totally committed to Him. He happily agreed to the one idiosyncratic part of who i am in service. i am terribly attached to the word Daddy. maybe because i loved mine so much but Daddy in general just seems to perfectly encompass what i want in a Dom: loving, protective, open, honest, funny, providing structure and boundaries to my world at large. thus far i can't think of anything in there that He isn't doing for me. all of this last six months, one hundred eighty days give or take, have given me someone that keeps me horny and keeps me smiling. He's great and after what can only be described as a peace talk/cease fire---i had a discussion with my mother that didn't end in me tossing my hands in the air in frustration. will wonders never cease? lol i'm silly.

all right y'all nighty night
red

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