little girl lost

Wednesday, July 30, 2008
okay so you're getting two posts today. this one wasn't intended. i guess the other one wasn't either. it's been five months since i heard from RS. i'm feeling very disconnected from everything right now. i keep getting sick and as i have told folks that's a by product of me feeling more stressed lately. i've been dealing with a lot of things in my head too which aren't helping. i've gone from worried to pissed to worried to whatever this is i'm feeling now. you'd think i'd have words for it but i don't. you know i mentioned the old couples and wanting to be with someone that long. truthfully right now i'd kill to just have someone lying next to me more evenings than not with no imminent threat of death or separation hanging over our heads.

i've stopped getting excited when i get mail notices because i doubt seriously they are from Him. i don't eagerly check the mail because i can't tell you the last time i touched something He sent. i want to be a good little girl but it's very lonely without some contact from Him. i need my Daddy and He just isn't available to me right now. how do you keep moving when you're just tired and want to sit still and cry?

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2 comments

  1. you are very young my dear....yes we want love as well as to be with our true Masters--albeit for life...you must learn to pray!! even so...lol..

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  2. i'm not sure if that was meant to be encouraging or not. yes i am young, never hid that from my readers, my RS has been deployed for 2 years now and none of us have heard from Him in the last five months. i'm worried about His safety but yes i am also lonely. nothing else i can say about that or to you at this point.

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