and for the first time in a few days i'm really just laying here instead of rolling around and laughing and watching movies and sighing deeply. He's been here and i have loved that greatly. it's interesting having Him here and how much different i am as a result. i haven't really wanted to post anything for some reason. slightly afraid i might jinx things and really still trying to be selfish a bit and save this one thing for myself. but i am happy and safe and feeling quite loved right now. if that changes i'm sure you'll know. hell i tell you guys everything lol eventually even when i don't exactly mean to. i hope everyone is well and that you enjoy the holidays if they are coming up for you next week. my mother is STILL gone yeahhhhhhhhhhhhh so i get to make my duck when i'm ready to eat it and not heat it up cause it's been sitting for 3 hours. hope i'll talk to you guys later.