this post is my 500th lol. for something i wasn't sure about doing in the first place, even with all the slow down recently, i wasn't exactly thinking 500 would come to pass. ESPECIALLY after that lovely day when emperor told me that i was essentially delusional and the last year didn't mean a freaking thing. i was convinced i was going to let the blog go dark, i mean it was about us after all, but you all were very nice and kept me tethered to a community i wasn't sure i wanted to remain in at all. and as we all know a short time later i met Roaming Soldier. and i thought good lord where had He been hiding because He seemed like a big present in a shiny bow that had been dropped on my doorstep all out of nowhere.
but as the course with my life lol, for every nice wonderful thing that happens an alternate crappy balancing thing has to happen. in this case He was deployed and for the last two years we have been separated by increased physical distance and inability to talk to each other when we want let alone see each other. it was hard not seeing emp when i wanted to, but this is just a big slice of hell cake. of course it wasn't as bad at the beginning but as this last stretch of time has come up, it's been so hard to go to bed every night hoping He's okay and sent home soon. for those of you that might be worried---we are still together, i'm just talking. another round of holidays, birthdays and now anniversary with limited contact. i wasn't expecting to hear from Him at all so i have to admit i was happy to get the im but it just made me miss Him again more than i thought it would. why yesterday i don't know. it wasn't any different than a few weeks ago when i talked to Him on Valentine's Day. that conversation left me hopeful for some reason. maybe because He was joking about going AWOL but it did give me hope. i need something i can't have right now and it sucks. i'm just incredibly lonely today and i don't know how to make it not the case for once.
Your Seduction Style: Siren / Rake
You possess an unbridled sensuality that appeals to many.
The minute you meet anyone, you can make the crave you almost immediately.
You give others the chance to lose control with you... spiraling into carnal bliss.
A dangerous lover, you both fascinate and scare those you attract.