Friday, July 20, 2012 No comments
i spoke with my nieces. no matter how i'm feeling they always make me giggle for a while. i've been feeling funky all day for no apparent reason. i made ice cream and that took forever for some reason but it's freezing now. i got the herbs planted and figured out how to set up moms tomato hanger thing. but as the day has progressed my mood has tanked. the shooting is abstractly crossing my consciousness but as always when there is some incident of this kind the speculation is rampant, exposure is much too heavy and my desire to partake of much of it wanes. that's part of why i love the cartoon network so much. it was one of the only channels not showing the 9/11 attacks at the time. after four hours of tragedy i started watching it and boomerang i think it was. either way cartoons made me feel better. so far today not so much. just the cutie pies i'm too far away from. i need something to boost me up, not sure what it will be, but i need something. i was even mean to Him. He's been trying very hard to reconnect and the last two days i've been so irritated i can't bring myself to talk very long. ahh well i'm going to go now and hunt for dinner.
Monday, July 09, 2012 No comments
Today while scrolling through twitter i saw a blurb from Rachel Kramer Bussel who i love. If i was ever able to just live it all out in the open she'd so be someone i would love to hang out with cause she seems very down to earth and happy. And it's not that i'm unhappy now but having to hide part of who you are so professionally you aren't banished and so mom isn't asking me if i am okay every four minutes isn't fun either. ahh well i'm off tangent. She wrote a new piece which did have a great title and was a nice recap of what i could only call a masochistic dream week. Here's the link so you can peruse at your will. It's funny, well written like all of her stuff is and made me realize i miss sex. The plain old vanilla kind as well as the it hurts so good kind. yes i know i could masturbate but that's always a one and done for me unless something has me really worked up and it's been a LONG minute since that happened. i slightly miss undergrad now. There was always a willing well tooled young man around to handle the borderline nymphomania i was afflicted with. Alas, the men here are married, potential business associates, or just not even folks i want to see naked on the most painfully dry days. Maybe one of my friends was right. The boys that want to hurt me and fuck me within an inch of my life aren't always good long term partners. And the long term partners apparently get disinterested in sex. Blah blah blah. On a positive note, my frozen yogurt came out great even though i think i need a new machine that works faster and isn't so bulky. Then i can use that rock salt for the driveway if it ever snows again. i had another interview today too, not sure how it went so i'm glad i already had a job lol. k back to watching tv and work in the morning.