A really good question

Sunday, November 25, 2012
So yesterday or day before not sure which, after I hit up fetlife for the first time in a while, Green Lantern (check the cast list for more info on her) asked me if I had left the lifestyle.  Honestly I haven't left anything.  I'm still quite a subbie girl BUT I haven't lived the lifestyle in quite some time either.  He's been gone for over a year and even when he was still here we were usually so stressed and busy trying to manage the situation with his children and ex that there wasn't much play time.  Not to mention my mother lives with me so a good flogging might make her concerned and call the police lol.  Even if we had wanted to sneak away though we probably wouldn't have.  The few occasions that we were alone and able to indulge there was a disconnect.  We were saying the same things but how it was envisioned by both of us was totally different.  Same thing with emperor but then again I don't think I was what he wanted physically so that put a damper on his treatment of me in lots of regards.  I felt more in tune with RS on the d/s side of things but we know what happened there.  There just may not be an ideal situation for me and I may just have to enjoy vanilla life.  I mean I am right now.  I'm working and teaching and cooking a LOT.  Been baking up a storm and tinkering with new recipes and this freaking mandolin slicer is amazing.  I'm just enjoying being me for the moment--and having lots of weird dreams NIGHTLY.  I'm hopeful that sometime in the future the stories will be more of my life but so far not so much.  Got another rejection letter by the way.  I'll sort out the book thing eventually.  I want you to have the last four stories but it looks like self-publishing is on tap.  Hope you all had a great holiday.

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