wow shame on me again

Saturday, February 04, 2012 No comments
not a whole lot to say. life is busy but not. i'm enjoying certain aspects but not others. and i'm a few days away from maybe starting on getting the book into print so that any of you folks that are still reading this blog can get all of the stories into your hands, including the four missing ones from the remainder of the alphabet. i keep debating whether to let this go dark or try to reinvigorate my love for blogging and the lifestyle. i'm sure i've mentioned it before but life is quite vanilla when we are together and this begins month four of Him being gone. there was some hope that He'd be back next month but with news that His grandfather is very very ill i just don't see it happening. definitely not next month if at all. none of the things He went down there for have happened and i'll be honest my patience is gone with them being resolved anytime soon. it's not His fault anymore than it was Roaming Soldiers. well technically the relationship status was pushed to where it was/is in both cases because of them. RS made a decision that we both knew could mean he could be MIA and that came to pass. His very developed sense of loyalty means that those in need, especially His family, come first. and while i may be a want, i don't need Him in the same way they do. sucks for me, and for Him, because it just makes me think there's never going to be a time when i'm always first. it's hard to be in a relationship when you don't think you'll ever be the number one priority. it's nearly impossible.

on another note i am taking care of myself still. have completely cut juice out of my diet. drinking crystal light flavored water in place of all of that. i've gotten rid of a lot of fatty snacks and have substituted them with healthy quick meals and a blend of nuts that i based on the planters nut-rition energy mix. i need to get back to the workout routine but i'm walking a lot more and tracking my steps with an app on my phone. need to increase my sleep but that is a pipe dream lol. i miss the sense of community that i used to have here in the blogosphere. but a rudderless sub isn't good company. back to watching mr. and mrs. smith.

red

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