A really good question

Sunday, November 25, 2012 No comments
So yesterday or day before not sure which, after I hit up fetlife for the first time in a while, Green Lantern (check the cast list for more info on her) asked me if I had left the lifestyle.  Honestly I haven't left anything.  I'm still quite a subbie girl BUT I haven't lived the lifestyle in quite some time either.  He's been gone for over a year and even when he was still here we were usually so stressed and busy trying to manage the situation with his children and ex that there wasn't much play time.  Not to mention my mother lives with me so a good flogging might make her concerned and call the police lol.  Even if we had wanted to sneak away though we probably wouldn't have.  The few occasions that we were alone and able to indulge there was a disconnect.  We were saying the same things but how it was envisioned by both of us was totally different.  Same thing with emperor but then again I don't think I was what he wanted physically so that put a damper on his treatment of me in lots of regards.  I felt more in tune with RS on the d/s side of things but we know what happened there.  There just may not be an ideal situation for me and I may just have to enjoy vanilla life.  I mean I am right now.  I'm working and teaching and cooking a LOT.  Been baking up a storm and tinkering with new recipes and this freaking mandolin slicer is amazing.  I'm just enjoying being me for the moment--and having lots of weird dreams NIGHTLY.  I'm hopeful that sometime in the future the stories will be more of my life but so far not so much.  Got another rejection letter by the way.  I'll sort out the book thing eventually.  I want you to have the last four stories but it looks like self-publishing is on tap.  Hope you all had a great holiday.

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If I'm Dreaming PLEASE Dear God Wake Me Up

Saturday, November 03, 2012 No comments
Not sure how long this will be but this has been the week of crazy dreams.  After recovering from an unexpected and so damn miserable stomach bug I had a dream that made me confused when I woke up.  I had relocated, was tired of being single, and used a dating service to find myself a new opportunity.  Everything was going smoothly up till the meeting.  Not sure why I'd agree to meet someone without a photo but in the dream I did.  And turned out to be a friend of one of my exes.  Very awkward and instead of just going this is incredibly awkward we had sex and then I woke up.  So yeah I was disturbed when I went back to work cause I could finally sit up without sprinting to the bathroom.  Thursday night I was feeling better just tired from another night of class.  Yeah well dream went off the rails then too.  This time I was driving somewhere I'd probably NEVER agree to drive cause it was hot and dusty.  My car broke down and I was pissed because I wasn't sure when the road side assistance folks would be coming to help and I was needed to be somewhere on time.  I think I was headed into a little bar hoping for a good clean bathroom and a drink when out of nowhere my ex shows up (different ex not related to the first dream at all) out of a cloud of dust just walking towards me.  I got madder in the dream and woke up mad too.  He was very nice to look at but woo irritation was par for the course with us.  And then last night I had a dream that I was celebrating my birthday and somehow got to meet one of my favorite basketball players.  Which wouldn't be so bad but I can't see that human at all but I know that Jason Kidd was there too.  I was getting ready to walk back to my seat when Jason stopped me and said now head to the back.  Some short guy (like really short) offered to get me a drink and introduced me to folks who looked like they should be groupies but were really sweet and looked like just a group of professional smart and funny women.  I wasn't sure what was going on at that point but I was enjoying myself and then I woke up.  So what do you all think?  The first night I hadn't really eaten anything so I can't blame the food.  Thursday and Friday I had pork chops for dinner and a piece of cake last night.  Could just be random dreams I guess but all of it was crazy.

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