I know some of you will think it should be because it costs enough money. Let me just say as a sometimes single gal who gets right horny and doesn’t want to risk hooking up with random strangers just to get her rocks off this is just freaking amazing. Vibrators are lovely and I have enjoyed a variety of them over the years (totally love the Ohmibod line as it someone took the control out of your hands by letting your MP3 player drive you crazy) but that required keeping one hand on the trigger at all times. They have totally upgraded oral sex toys as well from the vibrating tongues to the Sqweel 2 (which again totally love, looks like a mini version of the tongue chainsaw but it is lacking a tiny bit of power and male tongue roughness. And I don’t know if I can say enough about the Hitachi Magic Wand. A little direct current can turn a vibrator into a mini agent of kitty death (not real kitties in case your new around here, just a joke regarding a photo I saw eons ago about every time you orgasm/masturbate a God kills a kitten). After struggling with batteries dying or my hands getting tired, the Hitachi Magic Wand is like a little gift from heaven for me. I will be over the orgasm hump in minutes unless someone has really worked me up. Oh but today, today all of those nifty things coalesced into the best treat ever and it happened during National Masturbation Month too. Since I’m usually celibate unless I’m in a relationship masturbation is de rigeur around these parts. But finding new and inventive ways to make me cum without wearing out my arm were getting harder. Enter the Attache Fucking Machine from Orgasm Alley.
As you can see it just looks like an attache case. If the rod and wires are tucked away it looks like a standard brief case. It’s heavy but so worth it. The position it’s in at the bottom means you will likely be on your knees but you can also stand it up and let it fuck you like you’re riding it. There are two rods of varying length that help you decide on the stroke length and range. I went for the longer one on my first ride and totally don’t regret it. Best creamiest orgasm that has been wrenched from my body in a LONG while. I paired with the Beauty dildo from Doc Johnson for my inaugural fucking and the two together were beautiful. Once I was in the right position the curve in Beauty became truly truly delightful. I know I was one of the many who said it can’t possibly be worth the money. Even though I caught it on a sale I would totally tell everyone to buy one and if you can one for a friend. They will be indebted to you forever and may just become a conspirator in helping you find new and fun ways to get off with the machine. I have to run a few errands that is partially why I am up away from it now. The other reason was I was pretty sure I’d be fucking myself for the rest of the day without looking for food or drink or any thing but what speed I wanted to cum at next. Totally worth it.