Happy Father's Day & other random things

Sunday, June 15, 2014
So it's Father's Day in the United States again.  This is my fourteenth such holiday without my biological father.  He died just shy of his birthday and Father's Day a few months before I began work on my graduate degree.  There have been years in the gap that have felt like my world was caving in because I missed him so much.  This year hasn't been that way.  Maybe I'm in a better place emotionally or it has just been enough time and distance from that event that I can think of what he would say to me and smile without tearing up.  I can listen to Dance With My Father without breaking into sobs.  I would love to dance with him again.  We're both bad at the others' preferred method but that made dancing with him all the more fun.  It could also be that I have watched my brother grow into the best version of my dad in both his marriage and his family life with his girls.  That makes my heart smile more than I ever thought it would.  It could also be because I know lots of men that remind me of my dad who are great with their respective children and make me a little sad I don't have any munchkins to help buy slightly better than average Father's Day gifts with.  Only slightly cause seriously kids are exhausting and expensive.  Either way I am feeling blessed that I had my father in my life as long and as much as I did.  I am elated that my brother is doing so well with his family.  I am thankful for both my friends who are great dads and the men in this lifestyle who have been good Daddy types to me.  And I am looking forward to the one(s) that will assume that role in the future.  I have always been and will continue to be a Daddy's girl.

Ok moving on from the sappy portion of our conversation.  Please let's have a moment of silence for all the dead kittens that have lost their lives recently.  Yesterday I tried all three of my dildo attachments on the fucking machine.  I think I have to replace my floppy brown one.  It's great in one position cause it makes me feel stuffed and I flipping love it.  But in all others it's lack of rigidity makes it difficult to work with.  The free white dick I got actually does a reasonable job of making me feel plowed but it's not as thick as brown and it's not curved like the purple one which just so we're clear is heavenly.  I played with the white one longer than I thought but it wasn't hitting the one spot that the purple one does because of its curve.  It is more of a g spot dildo and I felt myself creaming all over it as soon as it got up to speed.  I was blasting music after cleaning and before my shower so I let the machine dance on the higher speeds.  Oh my fuck it was delicious.  The other thing I have noticed that I can't tie to anything really is increased sensitivity to my clit.  For the last few months when I am not stressed out or sick the minute I step into the shower my fingers go to my pussy.  A few quick rubs over my clit and I am having a tiny orgasm.  I had a few this morning with absolutely no effort.  Just a quick rub and body shuddering orgasm.  Since my shower time is not over (it's hair wash day) I am certain a few more kittens will leave this earth in the next hour or so.

Beyond that I'm feeling kind of domestic today.  Well lately.  I couldn't tolerate being a housewife if I'm honest but I like the modern version of a 50s housewife.  I'd love to come home to make him a nice stiff drink after I've freshened up and before I start in on his dinner.  I want the dynamic that in my brain reinforces my submission because of it's very nature and expectations.  It compliments the Daddy/babygirl dynamic to me quite well but I could be wrong.  Anyway, dinner is marinating now.  I figured out a new way to saute my onions last night and I have a better idea of the shape of eyebrows I want now.  That may not seem like anything valid but it goes along with keeping myself presentable.  I've also been upping my water intake as well to help with my skin and weight loss.  Must get back on the grind soon.  And much to my surprise the callas that I planted at home sprouted before the ones at my office and there are now two white bulbs peeking out at me.  I cleaned up the bedroom, got rid of more junk, put on the sheets that appear to work better on my slightly oversized mattress after I flipped it yesterday.  I also changed out all of the pillows for memory foam models.  I slept great last night.  I just need to finish my hair so I can sleep really great tonight.  Enough of my babbling.

How are you doing today?

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