New Books, New Ideas, Itty Bitty Rant

Wednesday, July 29, 2015 No comments
So I have been in reading mode again. I finished Conquer Me which I may have mentioned but if not then I highly recommend it in terms of processing submission and what it means to walk in these shoes. Kacie Cunningham did a great job and it helped me reach out to people in my life in a way that I would not have prior to reading it. She was also able to discuss something for me in well phrase it for me so that I could better explain it and process it. I won't lift her words here but really there are few and far between books on submission that resonate with me. I've tried a few others and they were horrible, I just read one actually and I'll get to that shortly, or were so out of my depth, realm, understanding or desire that it was just hard for me to take anything of value from them. This was different, not as soul stirring as Diary of a Submissive was for me but it wasn't meant to be. It was meant to make you think about submission and your role and how you go about getting what you want and need from a partner as well as maintaining your own well being. Well maybe that wasn't the purpose but it's what I took from it and for that I thank Kacie, her editors, friends and Master for encouraging her to write this and bringing it to fruition. I bought it sometime last year as I was looking for some more material to help me grow in my submission. I guess we read things when we need to see them and this was a very welcome thought changer, thought creator, thought stimulator etc. So as is often the case when I finish reading one good book I go in search of a new one.

And because as I was thinking about it there were not a lot of good books or even books available on the experience of BDSM from minorities, particularly Black women as I am one and have been looking for these stories, I deliberately went in search of Kink writings from that mindset. Don't get me wrong there's fiction of almost every combination but there is limited, or at least I have been unable to find it, real life accounts of discussion of kink or bdsm from an ethnic minority perspective. I kept digging around. Lots of defunct blogs. A few good tumblr pages--interesting but not a book or guide or the like. I searched about eight different ways and stumbled on one book that came out in May so yeah recent is good. Except it wasn't good. It was the opposite of good. Between the typos and lack of content and random photos of famous Black women I was very very happy that I had not paid for the book--yeah for Kindle Unlimited. I hate to mention the title at all because I don't want to knock her hustle. She's at least got something out in the marketplace. However, I may have just been too advanced for her target audience and want you to read for yourself. Gloria Coleman wrote Kinky Kinkster A Submissive Guide to Understanding Black BDSM culture. It's very very basic so if you consider yourself aware of the introductory topics and roles in BDSM this is not the book for you. If you don't and you want some help without signing up for a fetish social networking site then have at it. It's like 3 bucks so it won't bankrupt you but it will not inform any of those but the very new.

That made me start thinking about my own story. Was it worth writing? Could I legitimately work on it and get it out there? Would anyone give a rat's ass if I did? Not a clue and I have made no decision on writing it. I feel like we need a non fictional voice in the gap of information out there. I'm finding myself wanting to do that with my work so it may be spilling over into this life as well. I know others are out there. They live out in the open constantly and I envy them more than you know. But for those of us that need the anonymity to maintain our non D/s lives I don't know those stories. I don't hear them being touted out and about. And to be clear unless you are writing in one vein it's unlikely that BDSM stories will hit mainstream publishing with much force because just like the people who are living D/s on display the rest of the world sees them as too out there and not giving them all the warm and fuzzy moments of a twisted love story.

I am processing way too much in addition to what I've already shared. So I'm going to check out now and get back to letting my brain float off.

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Frustrated

Friday, July 24, 2015 No comments
This isn't really a rant but it may come across that way so I apologize in advance if it does. Before I get into that though, I will say that my trip to Amsterdam was amazing. The city is so pretty and it felt great to not be on any schedule whatsoever. I ate good food, saw things so beautiful that it made me dread coming home and had a view that was out of this world. I also got to spend some time with The Dutchman who was taller than I expected for some reason lol and an absolute gentleman. Well gentleman if you consider my interests but really just added icing to what had already been one of the best experiences of my life. If you ever get a chance to go please do.

You know this is really my fault but I have not been good at making new friends. I tend to meet people through other people. I can easily adjust to new groups of people but making those connections does not come naturally to me. They didn't when I was a military brat and moving every two years. They come even less so now. Despite my on nature when I have to present or do something similar, I am ridiculously shy and reserved when pushed out to do something on my own. I am slightly dumbfounded that I boarded the plane for Amsterdam since I was going alone but talking to people and doing things as momentarily Dutch red was much easier than doing it as American red. So here I am now needing to venture out and make new friends and I am legitimately at a loss.

I had a situation mulling around in my brain for weeks that I ended up asking a group of kind strangers about because I didn't have one person close enough to me, and not involved in the situation, to talk to about it. I have vanilla friends that I could have stripped it down and talked to about the situation but this is something that I wanted the whole BDSM trappings around. I've had one really close submissive friend for a while, you've heard me talk about her on here before, but her life is in full out mode so she's been a bit tied up lately. That leaves me with lots of acquaintances but no other sounding boards. I know it's easier to find some of those people in person so I did what I normally do and started with a quick search online to see if I could find like minded individuals preferably who were also Black and make my car take me to those people. Well if they exist locally they are hiding well because I couldn't find a thing. The closest thing I could find was in Chicago--several hours away--and they weren't any more active than the long since defunct group closer to my town. I just wanna meet some friends around my age who also have lives to protect so being out and about at a local cafe isn't an option lol. Plus I don't like coffee or the smell of it--headache time.

Where are the people with permanent tans all hanging out if they don't live on the east or west coast? Come out come out wherever you are. Say hi. I just wanna chat. And maybe vent when I'm frustrated and let you vent when you're frustrated. I'm more of the bitee instead of the biter so you're safe. See ya later. And if you have any suggestions let me know.

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