The word for the day is honesty. I'll get to more about that in a few minutes. So as is necessary I am currently deeply gorging on a Twilight Zone marathon that started a day or so ago with brief interruptions from regular programming, sleep, work, the gym, and meal preparation. I have done more than is standard during my week off and that's good as my mood and mentality are a world apart from where they could be otherwise. For those who aren't aware I recently had a birthday and shortly after I went to visit family. I don't do it often but when I do it seriously feeds my spirit. It reminded me of some things I need to do a better job of taking care of and I got new photos for my phone of the people who make up the largest part of my heart and keep me grounded.
It was with that energy that I came home on Monday and didn't lose it about mom's standard "I have no idea what I want to eat but I sure am hungry" routine. The end result was Burger King and we ended up with extra nuggets and a free soda because the cute drive thru guy--yes I was checking his cuteness, I was tired not dead and yep he was mountable--felt bad we had to wait a few minutes for fresh nuggets. I slept well and have spent the last four days working, working out and thinking. I wasn't dreading being pseudosingle or anything else. Life, no matter how many complications I am experiencing at the moment, is good. Largely because of that I'm committed to my goals for the year, not resolutions as those seem to go no where for me, the most prominent of which is being honest with myself and with others. There are others: lose another 35 pounds, stay healthy, play nice with mom, repair some old relationships or let them go, get on the grind with work, travel, and say yes to new experiences but the honesty thing well it needs to win out.
To that end I pondered what I wanted to say to The Dutchman and Mr. Wolf over for a few days before I said or typed a word. Now once I started my fingers moving I let it come out mostly free flowing. I did a tiny bit of editing but I can't not say things for fear of what may happen later. Fear is a powerful motivator but it keeps me from being transparent. Working on getting over that seriously. So if you have any questions let me know? You may be wondering about the whole Dutchman & Mr. Wolf situation and for now there's no major update. I still care about them both. They bring out totally different traits in me and I appreciate them both for doing so. I obviously spend more time with Mr. Wolf and if he had his way I'd be tied up in the basement of a 1950s style bungalow during the hours that I wasn't needed at work. That's actually not a bad thing really lol but I don't know how many bungalow's have basements and I don't really like the dark. Well that's not true either lol. There's no relationship hierarchy at the moment at least on my end. They both have other relationships in play and are exploring different things with those individuals. I can't say I'm all in the poly lifestyle at the moment. I still get jealous and it has taken me a while to find my voice and just be honest when that happens but as I mentioned earlier I'm working on it.
The only other thing that is going to be new and fun for me to explore is a project so to speak that I am undertaking as part of my make the year epic list. I'm asking people what they would do with a partner of their choosing and forty eight hours of solid debauchery. I am seriously interested in the answers because some of them I will make happen. Others I will use to melt the brains of other folks lol. Right now though I only have one weekend scripted and two allegedly coming back to me soon. I think I wigged one potential playmate out when he asked about my limits being pushed and I told him the truth. And another is just a lazy prick as best I can tell and if his dick wasn't so ginormous I wouldn't think twice about it. He may get a stopover visit lol. Anyhoo I think I've rambled enough for now. If you think you have a good idea for a debauched weekend let me know in the comments or shoot me an email--website name minus the .com @gmail.com.