I’ve been in a weird head space since Prince died. It’s been a mixture of deep sadness, joy that felt inappropriate, and something approaching wistful for all the things that were not going to happen in the future–like molesting someone after a Prince concert. Several of my exes said I might kill someone in bed one day because of my sexual appetite. I generally ignored them whenever they said that but after a Prince show they might have been correct. The energy, the music, just the feeling of lightness would have warranted the potential manslaughter charges. I digress.
As I was listening to the marathon of music that Prince released I realized how many times he was just unequivocally himself and how many times during the music he encouraged others to do the same thing. I have described my life as being more splintered than I would like it to be and that’s partially because I’ve been worried about how people would perceive me if they knew everything about me. That could bring up a metaphysical question about who knows everything about you in the long run but when it comes down to it I don’t have to be as sheltered as I have been. In the end though I realize that I’m a ridiculously private person that people may have some legitimate questions for as well as it’s just time to be more honest with myself about what I really want in this life and pursuing it more readily. I’m doing that more professionally. I need to figure out how to do it more in the personal realm. This is an admittedly small start but if you are wondering something about me feel free to ask. I will do my best to answer your questions within reason.
I would probably be me but better and less closed off. My dad opened the world up to me and for me and supported my dreams. Losing him was not something I can fully articulate but it definitely altered my life plans and persona. I would have asked for his input on things so it may have changed my choices along the way. But even when we disagreed he was happy to help me get to where I wanted to be and attempt to achieve those goals. I can't say that it would be a yes or no. I might have been closer to home just cause he was my rock. Or I might be out of the country because he would have encouraged me to do it while I was till young enough to enjoy it.
Do you think that you would be the same female that you are today if your father had lived longer or was still living? Would it have changed some choices that you have made? And would more of your life's choices been influenced by his wishes, ideas and thoughts if he was still alive?
Ok, thanks. I will wait to read other questions.
Not sure that i have a top 5 of some of these but i will give it a shot
What are the top 5 in the categories of:
Makes you cry? Laughing, i tear up after a while cause i just do, my family in good and bad ways (missing folks mostly), long thoughts about my dad, moments when i wonder if i would have been a good mother, missed opportunities that weren't pursued because of fear
Perplexes you? stupid people mostly cause that leads to their selfishness, self-centeredness, rudeness and lack of empathy
Makes you giddy? good food, good sex, good cartoons, good time with my friends and family and good music, honorable mention to an intense gym workout
and
What changes are you making in your life currently? mostly i'm trying to be more honest with myself and others and stop letting perceived barriers get in the way
Since no one else is saying anything.
What are the top 5 in the categories of:
Makes you cry?
Perplexes you?
Makes you giddy?
and
What changes are you making in your life currently?
*since everyone else is hiding in the shadows*