Been a long time, shouldn't have left you

Sunday, November 20, 2016
......without a dope beat to step to, step to.

Sorry I couldn't help myself there.  According to the date on the last post it's been just over two months since I posted last.  I could post a lot of excuses but when it comes down it really I just got super busy.  So in the gap I've done a lot of things with work and looking at new opportunities.  I've taken a quick vacation that was beyond necessary.  I had a lot of sex and a little play and both again were necessary.  But mostly I've been thinking which is not always a good thing.  In this case I'd call it neutral.  I thought about quitting my job.  I've thought about looking for a job outside the country.  I've thought about abandoning all trappings of adulthood.  And at one point I thought about cutting off all relationships with everyone because I was just tired.

Tired of what you may ask and I will be happy to tell you.  As my partners can attest, I'm not always good at asking for help.  Not because I don't need it but because I hate it when folks don't pull their weight.  Plus, if I know you are busy with other things I am not going to toss my request out there as well.  So yeah it's easier to just say fuck it than ask for help right?  Well not really but that's where my brain goes when I get fed up.  My partners have had a host of things on their plates so I was off being quiet.  The last few weeks reminded me not to do that.  Each of them reached out of me in a different but needed way.  It doesn't fix some of the mess but they care and that's good to know.

I can be tired but I have people to lean on if I just let myself fall.

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