what You never said

Sunday, October 08, 2017 2 comments
i'm making my peace with You
and it's my peace to make not Yours
i fully recognize that
You don't owe me a thing
my disappointments are my own to well own
i made You into someone that You never promised to be
You did what said and no more
sometimes maybe a little less
but You never gave me illusions of what You wanted
and in the moment i loved that
craved it
basked in the honesty of it
rational little girl could totally understand You
and what You were offering
but as the pages close on this chapter
i fully acknowledge i wanted more
i wanted my own whips and chains themed fairy tale
i wanted to never have to explain what i needed
because You always just knew
i wanted to be a pliant puppy at Your feet
i wanted to engage in every depraved fantasy
You ever dreamed up
well except that one cause nah dude
i wanted You in all of Your glory
but You never even agreed any of that was in the offing
i hear what You actually said now
and realized how i filled in the gaps
read between the lines
and allowed my hope to be stronger than my reason
You were always transparent in who and what You were
i did the exact thing i tell others not to do
i fell madly passionately deeply in love
with the potential of who i believed You could be
for me
for the seeking little girl
for the obedient mewling pup
for the desperate slut i wanted to be
alas You never even hinted that was a role You wanted to play
and i need to listen to what You never said and move on

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