So on my commute to work and back the last few days a song I was obsessed with months ago keeps playing and it seems fitting given my current mental and emotional state. Shortly after that song plays a new song that I'm slightly obsessed with also plays. It's an interesting juxtaposition of mood but both are accurate. I tend to be a glutton for punishment in relationships mostly because I don't take my own advice. I know that love has never been enough to sustain any kind of relationship but until that emotion is totally and completely out of my system towards someone I can't walk away. I still love both of my partners more than I don't. I'm just exhausted right now. Thus nothing feels good or intriguing or even interesting if I'm honest. And right now I'm slightly fixated on noticing how much heavier one of my boobs is than the other. Like it's bugging the shit out of me right now. Not enough that I'd likely do anything about it but if the yet to be scheduled mammogram means I have to do some sort of intervention then I will likely have it addressed. Apparently lots of women have the same issue but until it's really noticeable the doctors say chill.