Surprised Me

Wednesday, July 29, 2020 No comments
So my book has been published since early this year and I haven't really been tracking anything related to it.  No one reached out to me and said I hate you and it so I was good with that.  Turns out though people are buying my little smutty collection and I haven't made a ton of money but I've made enough they are sending me random deposits for sales and reads through Kindle Unlimited.  Not a lot of sales through the Kindle though so I'm going to run a week long promotion that starts tomorrow.  The eBook will be for sale for 99 cents from 8AM EST until midnight on August 5 (turning into August 6).  If you are more paperback centric let me know.  I can't run a promotion on the paperback because it's smutty lol but I may do a week long price drop on that one too.

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After that my guess is you'll never hear from him again

Thursday, July 23, 2020 No comments
This will be a quickie. I worked most of the day. Read a book and had a good orgasm which as usual made me think about one ex or the other. So I did what nosy girls do and looked him up. Saw something I wasn't expecting but whatever I needed to break finally did. I think I am ready for whatever is coming next.

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the sub who thought too much

Monday, June 29, 2020 No comments
I should totally be asleep but that is clearly not my lot in life right now.  Work through life off for me and probably everyone else a few months ago.  That was good.  It didn't give me time to think about my love life or submission or anything that basic.  I had to worry about taking care of mom and keeping us healthy and figuring out how to do my job from my living room table instead of my quiet office.  That is coming to an end--that you all deities that heard my prayers--for the most part on Tuesday.  That doesn't mean there aren't other things on tap but nothing that requires that much of my mental energy so I'm back to my insomnia fits and pondering life again.  That brings us to now and I don't know how long this is going to be so if you read after the break it is all on you.


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Lessons in the Early Phase of the Lockdown

Thursday, March 26, 2020 No comments
So i am not above saying i learn things in random places.  i was watching Marriage Boot Camp Hip Hop Edition randomly tonight and it was a very protracted moment of watching our childhood and past pivotal moments shape our future/present.  They focused in specifically on what the messaging or chaos around us during that time frame keep being embedded in how we move forward.  To be clear the kids versions of themselves had some fucked up things happen and i can see how it plays into who they are now.  as i cried with and for them i was wondering if my messaging was still problematic.  Yep totally is but it's a messy thing to break down.  i wasn't homeless or abused.  my parents marriage was weird.  i didn't know why but i knew something was off.  i may have mentioned it here before.  They loved on us, my brother and i, but not really with each other save after a fight.   They rarely fought though.  They just kind of coexisted.  Looking back now i know that my dad was cheating and even though mom couldn't prove it for a long minute she was unhappy.  However, feeling like your husband might be cheating wasn't a good enough reason to leave him per my grandmother so my mom stayed.  Eventually they separated cause dad was really really cheating and my mom took it as a failure on her part even though she had long wanted out.  This is where my kid self needed an intervention.  What i learned from both of my parents was equally problematic from a long-term relationship perspective. 


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je suis fatigue, ich bin mude, ik ben moe, i am tired

Sunday, February 23, 2020 No comments
if you can only read one of those languages they all translate to the same thing.  i am tired.  i have been tired  the whole month.  my fault for having too much to do, not enough time to do it and squeezing in a visit to see my family right before a big personal anniversary as well.  there has been a lot of loss recently too which is also taking a toll and i'm not sure i will be able to start playing catch up with any of this before next month.  what i'd like is some cuddle time watching a movie after i make dinner with the selected cuddle victim, maybe a good spanking or breath play, and then some sleep.  i'm not even terribly horny which is how i understand i'm very tired.  that plus that horny switch can just be decimated for me if i'm not intellectually engaged with someone.  a vacation might help but i think i'm back where i was a few days ago in that skin hunger phase.  i miss connection and it makes me tired.

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So i did a thing: The Alphabet Game is now a book

Tuesday, January 28, 2020 No comments
i can't remember when i exactly pulled down the stories i wrote for Roaming Soldier and Mr. Good Nyte but it was a while ago because i just had the impulse to get them published.  However, i also had work and other stuff happening so i didn't get around to it.  i did pay for an editor and i swear i looked at none of that over the last few days.  My brain got pressured to just let them go.  i ran a spell and grammar check.  i used some new phrases for some things and then i went looking for the easiest way to get from my flash drive to you.  That turned out to be Amazon's self publishing service.  i had to mock up a new cover and resubmit because as a friend pointed out it was kind of generic.  So I present you with links to my only book of erotica out there right now.

The ebook/Kindle version is here: The Alphabet Game

The paperback is here: The Alphabet Game

In either case you won't pay more than 10 bucks to grab either version and it's a whole 11 bucks if you want them both.  i hope you enjoy them but if not i can't control that really.  It was time to let them go.

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life is short, inspiration strikes in odd places

Monday, January 27, 2020 No comments
Hey all.  Unless you just totally checked out from all forms of media then you heard about the sudden and tragic death of Kobe Bryant, his daughter, at least three members of another family and four other people.  Kobe wasn't my dude but he reminds me of lots of men in my life and it made me sad.  When i make it to bed tonight i will send out a longer prayer for all involved because life is altered in ways no one can really speak to right now. 

That news, plus other conversations i've had recently have made me take next steps on a long delayed idea.  As soon as it's finalized, i will release more details but i am trying to do better this year.

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last year was complicated the finale

Thursday, January 09, 2020 No comments
so you've heard about work and you've heard about my relationships.  just an update about me and i can't say this will be all that long.  January marked the six month point in growing out my locs.  They were healthy but still a little thin and of course not completely settled.  They look amazing now so i'm loving that i went that route and my hair is happy and healthy.  My weight went up and down and by the end of the year i just didn't give a crap cause i was tired.  Last year was another just give it a try and see what happens thing.  i took a Dutch class and i'm signed up for part two this spring.  i cooked a lot more and experimented with different recipes.  i signed up for a mystery vacation so someone else plans my trip and i just go.  i rocked out at a P!nk concert and bought tickets for two concerts this year, Jill Scott and Maroon 5, and may get a few more in.  i got rid of things and decided to try drum lessons which started this month.  Like i'm happy.  i realized tonight after coming in for the day that i'm legitimately happy and i can't say when i felt like that last.  Maybe i needed to write this to cleanse last year but it feels like a lot of heavy things have been shed.  So yeah that's everything.  i doubt you have any questions but if you do fire away.

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