99 bottles of beer on the wall & then some more

okay people this is my 99th post. the very next one will be grand old number 100. i have nothing planned but i may get all excited and do something anyway lol. i am doing okay for the most part. i have been perusing blogland to see how others are doing and i guess i am the only special child actually connected to her computer because everyone else seems to be out enjoying their lives. i do need to get up and clean up soon but i am feeling no motivation to do that whatsoever. i would much rather catch a late afternoon flight to see Emperor and spend the next 48 hours with my mouth firmly secured to some part of His anatomy. no particular part just whatever He will let me hold for a while roflmao. i miss Him, even though i know i said He would likley drive me crazy yesterday. i haven't done the long distance thing in a long time and i don't think that i am adjusting as well as i possibly could. i just wanna be curled up with my Dom. i wanna be pat on the head and told i am a good girl. i wanna hear my name turned into a litany of curses and praise as my mouth reaffixes to some other part of His anatomy. i don't think He would really let me orally torture Him for two days. the only reason He let me so thoroughly entertain myself the first time was because i had literally whine about men not allowing me to sate my oral fixation before they curled up and told me enough because i was trying to kill them. i would never do that to Him though, kill Him that is, He makes me too happy most of the time. yeah i am sure i am sounding a little nuts. but hey pain, lust and longing will do that to you. i am gonna go lay it down for a while. i may come back and edit this later so i can blather on a bit more. have a blessful day whatever you are doing.

red



ETA: my newest favoritest sappy movie is on right now. the first time i saw it i was having another insomnia fit and it was quite accidental i hadn't changed it over to the cartoon network as i saw him (john cusack) on tv. thinking it might be gross pointe blank i tuned in for a while and then was enraptured in it much the same way i have been by another ridiculously sappy film (simply irrestiable with sarah michelle gellar). anyhoo, it normally keeps me company at 3AM but all of a sudden it's not even midnight and it ques up after legally blonde went off. so now i'm in the middle of the bed, after some light cleaning and making dinner, watching serendipity. webster's says that serendipity is "The faculty of making fortunate discoveries by accident." isn't that a nice word? you find good things by accident. what could be better than that? well keeping the good things you found by accident could be great.

again i know i'm hormonal and i have been actively fighting my natural impulse to run from anyone that makes me remotely happy. however, i'm not sure if this is the right person to fight that impulse with. yes i know directly above this blubbering i admitted that He has the ability to make me profoundly happy. and i guess by virtue of that He also has the ability to make me feel incredibly crappy. i'm sure you are wondering what any of this has to do with serendipity. well let me tell you. meeting Him was quite a fortunate accident. had He stumbled upon me even a week earlier my mind would not have been receptive and i surely wouldn't have been so honest with Him.

i figured what the hell, if we don't like one another after we meet it so won't matter because i'll be moving 600 miles away. i was fully prepared to detest Him after we met actually lol. i hadn't met a man i LIKED in months at that point let alone one that would keep my attention when we were a short plane ride away from each other. ahh but there He was, in all His Dom'ish glory and i was smitten. i'm still smitten now i'm just upset and feeling icky. when i act out He most surely reacts but otherwise i'm just around and left to flounder a bit. it makes things at least feel a little less serendipitous. i adore Him i really do i'm just cranky and the universe is not helping me. well it is and isn't. tbs loves me and is showing my other new favorite sappy movie as soon as serendipity goes off. and well no one else is presenting themselves. i always say it's a bad sign if you are looking for alternatives to your relationship lol. i have been and the sad thing is no matter how hard i look (for an hour here or there) or where i look what i want isn't coming up. and that's probably because what i want is suffering in His place on medication too preoccupied with His own life to recognize His pet needs to be petted.

tonight i'll have a talk with the universe since it seems to be indirectly talking to me. if it doesn't answer then screw it. i'll stiffen my pouty lip and let it deliver the Dom'my man that wants to wrap me up into His protective arms and force me down on my knees to do ehhh something interesting lol. if you have never seen the movies watch them once, let me know what you think once you do. if you have seen them and you understand my rambling please let me know.

night
red v