Daddy's Little Girl

Friday, March 31, 2006 9 comments
okay as i mentioned in the previous post the word daddy when said by the right person taps into whatever control center in my brain that releases all those lovely endorphins. i can go from a perfectly calm demeanor to umm spank me please in practically no time. and that's what happened last night. he said daddy and i wanted to kill a kitten. i didn't because well i wasn't feeling entirely well but believe me it's all that saved the kitten. my mind was still massaging daddy and all of its implication when it started raining tonight. now that the domicile is quiet and i got my nightly fix of Roaming Soldier i can tell you what is on my mind. we have this running joke about me being a girl scout, a brownie to be precise. he affectionately calls me a little cookie peddler which has led to some interesting fantasies in my brain. this is one of them. oh and Night Owl if i haven't caught you stop reading now and go to the next entry.

He is inside his home waiting. He knows she'll be there soon and that she'll be perfectly accommodating when she arrives. He considered punsishing her as she was sure to be late given the weather and her seeming inability to get anywhere on time during a storm. Easily distracted by the drops of raining hitting her window. Yes she would likely be punished as soon as she arrived late and looking apologetic.

she was frusrated as hell. she had no idea who convinced her that she should become a troop leader but she was tired of short people and boxes of cookies. there still had to be half a dozen cases in her backseat and she was growing tired of people asking her if she had more chocolate covered something or others. to top it all off since one of the moms flaked out on the cookie sale she had to drop three girls off instead of rushing home to Him and getting the spanking she knew was coming. she was late, tired and to make matters worse she was going to be soaked the minute she stepped out of the car. it hadn't rained this hard in months so she wasn't prepared with her standard slew of umbrellas in the back seat. she would just have to be soaked though. she wasn't going to ask Him to come and get her as that would just make that look He was sure to give her ten times worse. she pulled into the driveway, grabbed her hair and put it in a ponytail and then turned the engine off. she thought shit but there was nothing else to do but get out. she opened the door and was soaked through in a matter of seconds. she got to the door and her white shirt was see through, her burgandy skirt was sticking to her thighs and she was shivering. she knocked and hoped He wouldn't let her wait outside because He was upset.

He had been watching her since she got out of the car and was going to leave her there to think about making Him wait but she just looked so pitiful. she'd be grateful to come in now and try to make up for her tardiness. He grabbed a towel and then opened the door. "Take off your shoes and dry yourself off." all she could muster was a meek yes Sir in reply. she dried off as much as she could, really needing a good shower but she wasn't about to say a word. "How late are you?"

fifteen minutes Sir.

"And what happens when you are late?"

You will punish me for my poor planning that caused You to wait.

He was considering stuffing the ball gag in her mouth and seeing how she responded to an hour under the flogger and TENS but he got distracted. her chest was heaving slightly as she tried to warm herself. her nipples were stiff and pressing against the material. If she had been a good girl, and He knew she had, then she was wearing a pair of white lace panties to match the bra that was starting to tighten as it dried. she was a brat and He was sure she'd do something else to piss Him off later. It would throw her off not to get punished right now but she would be delightful if He refrained. "Unbutton your blouse to the fourth button. Take your hair down and run a comb through it now. Come back immediately and kneel next to me." she scurried off obviously confused but pleasantly surprised He wasn't going to torment her right now. she didn't know what was in store for her might be considered worse. she came back and assumed her position next to Him. He grabbed the paper He had been ignoring before she arrived and then told her to suck His clearly engorged dick. she quickly worked on His belt and zipper and was relishing the taste of Him before He had turned the page. He loved that she got so excited by pleasing Him this way but she was doing entirely too well. He let her continue for another five or ten minutes before stopping her. "Put me away honey." she did as she had dozens of times before and then waited for instructions. "In my lap now." she was still wet and if He spanked her now then He'd just be tempted to fuck her instead of messing with her head. He spoke to her as if she was a child. "You know Daddy doesn't like it when you are late. I worry about you."

yes Sir i know.

He reached into her blouse and started fondling her nipples. He heard her sigh and increased the pressure He was applying. "What should Daddy do to make you learn that lesson?" she was floating off now, it would be useless to do anything but use her as He saw fit. "Stand up honey, show Daddy your panties then take them off and sit on Daddy's dick." He sat back and watch her try to remain steady knowing she was ready to go off the minute He touched her again. Such a little freak. He waited for her to remove Him from the pants He was wearing and inch onto Him before pulling her down in one forceful move. her breath caught and her pussy contracted before relaxing. "Good girl. You come when I tell you that you can." she nodded that she understood and His hands roamed back into her shirt. soon she was naked from the waist up and He was sucking, biting, or pinching her at random. He kept pushing her to the edge and refusing to let her go over. she was grinding slowly in His lap, trying to answer whatever He asked of her but they both got distracted soon. He pushed her legs in front of Him and had her brace herself against the table. He stood up enough to make sure her head was in danger of bumping the table if she didn't remain steady. He knew she would but it would nice to watch her struggle.

He fucked her roughly. He grabbed the mass of wet hair and started using it as a lead. Long, deep, slow strokes were mixed with an almost violent assault on her pussy. she moaned, she grunted, she assured Him she loved Him and no one else, that she would never be late again--a lie He was more than willing to overlook, and that no one else but Him would ever be her Daddy. it was the intense little squeal she let out when she said Daddy that made Him grab her hips and unleash all the tension of the week on her body. she whimpered her request to Him that she be allowed to come around His dick. He said, "yes girl but do it quickly." her muscles contracted and gripped Him tightly until she was through with the major spasm. she'd continue to have little ones until He used her again which wouldn't be too long from now. He resumed His probing until it was impossible to hold Himself back. He barked at her to get on her knees. As soon as she looked up at Him with her eyes perfectly doe-eyed, He shoved Himself between her lips and fucked her mouth until He came. she slurped Him clean and then gently licked until He regained His composure. He withdrew from her mouth and sat back on the couch. "Zip me up. Go upstairs and run a bath. I'll be up in about 20 minutes and we'll start this all over in the tub."

she left without so much as another word. He felt slightly bad that He had told the little cookie peddling child's mother that she would be happy to take them all home. He felt slightly bad about hiding her umbrellas when He put that last box of cookies in the car. And He even felt bad that He wasn't even the slightest bit tired and the new toys He ordered arrived while she was gone. It didn't matter, she was His to torment and use as He saw fit. It made them both very happy. she was Daddy's little girl after all and as she had been promising for the last few years she'd never have another Daddy but Him. He put the paper down knowing it wouldn't get read anytime soon. He locked the door and turned off the lights downstairs. she was naked and kneeling next to the tub. His imagination was running wild with thoughts of how He would make her beg for the rest of the night. Gotta love a woman that absolutely loves her Daddy.


a penny for my thoughts

Thursday, March 30, 2006 No comments
anyone got a penny? shiny penny to put in some penny loafers perhaps? okay while i wait on that to come i'll go ahead and spew some stuff in advance and just patiently await my payment.

okay i can't type yet for some reason my place is freaking on fire and i feel like my skin is ablaze and not in that mid-coitus, spanking, shower kinda way either. it's just freaking hot. okay that's better. good lawd. i'd just strip but you guessed it, the recent birthday girl is staring into my room and since she's not bothering me i don't want to close the door on her just yet. the breeze from the fan feels great though. i may leave it on as i sleep tonight. i love the breeze. plus it's going to rain tonight and y'all know where my brain goes in the middle of a storm. pleasant dreams for red, uh huh oh yeah it's my dream night. umm let me get back to what i was thinking lol.

i am stupidly happy. i have been blasting music in my car for a few weeks---prince, santana, r kelly (yes r kelly), and my lovely tupac mix cd including the very very angry hit em up. every now and then i'll mellow out with some jill scott, erykah badu or india.arie but mostly it's been prince (incense and candles will be the perfect stripper song i swear), santana (boom boom boom santana's in the room), and r kelly (you're my dream dream dreammmmmmmmmmmmm dream girl). entirely off tangent (like i was really on one) the matrix is on right at the part he comes out of the gooey crap lol i love this movie. anyway, i am stupidly happy. the music and speeding are very good. mommy liked her dinner and her presents--very good. people at my job really love me lol--could be because i bring them chocolate but they still love me. i think i may have warped a few brains today because i responded to a friend who brought up figging on a non bdsm related board. if i did i apologize, if i didn't hee hee just give me more time. and the mere thought of Roaming Soldier makes me bust into a silly smile. that is a GREAT feeling. i was only able to talk to him for a few minutes before i took mommy out to dinner. i swear it wasn't anything crucial or life-altering but when i saw it, i wanted to tell her to sit down and proceed to sacrifice a kitten while we chatted. what was the statment you may ask? is it too private to share? will it make you blush and go well i wasn't expecting that? it's possible but if you have been here long enough you shouldn't be surprised by these things. drum roll please........

hey sweety, you are on my mind as well. Have fun with mom. Eat a good meal for daddy .

so i know you are wondering why that made me all silly and girly. well really it was the daddy. makes me blush and wanna curl up in his lap so he can play with my hair until he decides it's time to tuck me in . and it's the oddest thing because i am really not into age play. i can role play a good scene here or there and have no problem referring to a man as "daddy" but remaining childlike for a protracted period of time is so not appealing to me. well i guess i like those over the knee spankings too but really i want to be his grown up girl so we can do those things that grown ups do. and thanks to Night Owl i am terribly aware that i am keeping him smiling as well. as i have mentioned before, nothing greater in a sub's world than to know her Dom is smiling. and nope it's not official or anything like that but the more we talk the more it seems like a good fit for both of us.

i'll be back later tonight or early tomorrow morning if it starts raining like i am expecting it too. the "daddy" has a scene playing in my head now. he of course doesn't know that the word intrigues me so but that's the great thing about the newness of situations. we accidentally say things that push each other's buttons and then we memorize them to push them at random. mind you Roaming Soldier can press anything on me and it's likely to push me over the edge. and he's eagerly awaiting the first storm that hits when we're together lol. okay be back later. have to unleash the story midstorm and undressed. neither of which is possible now.

love ya


happy birthday to mommy but....

Wednesday, March 29, 2006 3 comments
okay ladies and gents, first let me say today is my mother's 54th birthday. she had me at the ripe old age of 23 and i was a joy and a blessing to be sure. okay so i traumatized her and kept her up all night. didn't eat my vegetables and slapped my brother around when she wasn't looking. she drives me nuts routinely but she's a funny old lady and i like her most of the time. so happy birthday to the mommy that created me and all the insanity that you read here.

moving on, i'm in bed sick right now. i left feeling horribly and before i got to my office i had to turn around. i came upstairs got undressed let some of the sick out and then back into bed. i am contemplating going into work this afternoon but i am leaning towards a no because i just want to sleep. i need to touch base with a co-worker and then i have to treat mommy to her birthday dinner of gigantic lobsters and then i'm going to return to bed and just lounge here.

all of this downtime had me thinking though. that strange woman in the back bedroom and i have have very little in common honestly. we don't like the same things, food, people, places, anything. my mother could spend all day, and has, shopping and out eating. that drives me nuts within a few hours so i do power shopping--six stores, less than 2 hours and grab a bite to eat on the way home. she would enjoy eating random things that i don't want to touch let alone eat. i could spend all day in the library or book store and my mother would be scrunching up her nose shortly after she didn't find anything in the sale bin. she has been an older version of my face as long as i can remember but beyond that we operate on different planes. i look like her but act like my father and my brother well he was daddy's twin and is my mother's best shopping buddy. i can't comment on my brother's sex life--nor would i ever want to as that would warp my brain--but from what i know of my parents, i still have more in common with daddy than mommy.

mom was rather reserved by all accounts and since their divorce she hasn't dated a lot of people and none of them gave me the slightest kink vibe. i wasn't old enough to pay attention to dad's third wife (mom was the second) but he and the fourth were experimenters let's just say. when i cleaned up his room after he died i was glad i was doing most of it alone. there were some things that had to be disposed of privately for certain. and i didn't feel as if my kink was entirely developed on my own. however, being the chronic overachiever kid i am i took it to a totally different level. and i like it here. the nuances and emotions and touches are just so wonderfully charged. the depth of lust that is created, just makes me fan myself. and when two people really connect that is the single best high i could imagine right now. granted my imagination is stymied by "don't feel good" but i think you understand my point.

okay i am going to stop babbling and probably go back to sleep now. no work for red today. i may be back later if i am feeling better or if she loses her mind at dinner.

see ya


And i loved deeper and i spoke sweeter

Tuesday, March 28, 2006 4 comments
I went sky divin',
I went rocky mountain climbin',
I went 2.7 seconds on a bull name Fumanchu.
And I loved deeper,
And I spoke sweeter,
And I gave forgiveness I've been denying,
And he said someday I hope you get the chance,
To live like you were dyin'.

okay i hardly ever struggle for titles for the posts but tonight i did. the lyrics above are from tim mcgraw's live like you were dying. i like his voice but in general haven't felt a need to purchase one of his cds. this song makes me go back and forth on that but really i just enjoy it when it comes on. i feel like i'm floating and have been feeling that way for a few days. i am a happy sub. it doesn't take a whole lot to make me happy but i have felt an overabundance of reasons to be smiling. my mother is leaving in about six days and won't be back for weeks after that. i was able to speak to Roaming Soldier and another Dom that both had me blushing for basically just being myself. a woman likes to be appreciated and a Dom-less sub likes it more than i could properly express. i got feedback on my dissertation, started making some lovely money at blogshares, got my order from the Sub Shop (look for link on the left---my brain almost typed length, wonder where my mind drifted off to lol) and just had lovely daydream about being taken and claimed and used and left quivering. it led to the destruction of numerous kittens and i do apologize lol.

the snippets of conversation i've had with RS since saturday have kept the floating feeling going. his time there is getting closer to being over. my day of cooking will be including more people and food lol. my night with him will likely be very long but it will help us decide if we will move forward on the D/s path. i've mentioned i've felt off-kilter without it and i think he would happily invite the right submissive into his life but being realistic we may not be fully compatible in that sense. it would suck though as he keeps me smiling and as i've mentioned before floating/flying. our conversations have been getting more intense about what we are individually hoping for. i'm sure as daylight becomes more present then we'll get more explicit--or at least he will--about what he hopes for from me if i am asked to consider him as my Dom. if nothing else he's a wonderful person to joke around with but i have to confess i'd really just like to be climbing him right about now. for one hour or so D/s be damned and then we can explore the nooks and crannies of one another before he takes what i happily wish to give him and enjoy being shoved back into the mental space i'm in now. and as i am wrapping this up and getting adle brained in the happy floaty area, i suddenly remember have a dozen songs that mention flying explicitly. oh well perhaps for another night.

love ya


what dreams may come & should go

Sunday, March 26, 2006 4 comments
okay i have to get this first part out before it rots my brain and makes me very unhappy. not sure how long it will be but i am almost positive that something more interesting will come right after it. and for the life of me my brain must be in rot central because i am watching james bond (old james bond) and haven't decided to change it yet. i am mad at myself but yet i haven't grabbed the remote. the shame and the horror because it isn't even sean connery's bond it's roger moore's. i mean a good bond to be sure but sean connery just makes me fan myself. yes he's old enough to be my great grandfather most likely but he's got the best voice. okay where was i? oh yes the dream lol.

i dream a lot, sometimes i put effort into remembering other times i happily forget. i have been trying to dump this one but the shower just convinced me to hammer it out and we'll go from there. so here's the deal. i was working at school, woo big shocker there, and i was trying to figure out why i was in that part of the campus as the class i was teaching was at least a ten minute walk from there. that's right i forgot a presentation so i am scurrying up several flights of stairs and in my rushing i drop my cell phone. normally not a huge deal but i was on it and as the damn thing fell the LCD screen cracked. and not one of those polite little chips but one of those i am about to leak hazardous material in your ear cracks. so i pick it up and find myself quite annoyed but i go do the presentation and call the company so they can replace it. they swear that they will ship it out immediately so i can get it tomorrow i say okay and hope i don't need to make any calls anytime soon.

when i get back to my office there is a package with the cell phone i ordered in it but it doesn't look like the one from cell phone provider. that thought goes in and out of my brain as it seems to be working perfectly and i alternate between the two until i get over to where i am meeting friends for a late lunch. we laugh and giggle and they pick up the tab for me since i just dropped a load on the phone. i thought i heard a familiar chuckle but there should have been no reason between heaven and earth for it to be there so i discounted it until i spun around to walk out and saw Emperor sitting in a booth entertaining a waitress until he saw me and then he waved. i'm sure my face made the "what the hell are you doing here" face at him but i waved, made sure i had everything i needed and ran out to my car. he must have paid her already because he just followed me out. my girls were milling around and followed us both out. he ran to catch me and did so at the car. he started talking about being worried about me and he had heard something that made him come find me (i really had apparently disappeared from his life).

i asked what would have made him hunt me down and he told me he had run into some ex (of mine)and a friend of his (of that ex not Emperor lol) that were joking about me falling on hard times and they had to look me up because i would finally marry him (the ex) now. now let me just say that me and the ex had a running joke that we'd marry one another if either of us fell on super hard times but ewww how bizarre would that be for my former Dom to run into this random ex? ok i know my friends and they are asses and the two he mentioned would have been that stupid but really as long as a school is open somewhere i should be okay. he had heard some other things after he hired someone to look for me and either i was newly divorced, my husband had died, or my mother had died really i'm unsure. by this time my girls are trying to comfort him because he looks distraught and i am standing here like wtf is going on. i move everyone out of the way because he is really starting to look bad and i give him a hug and assure him i'm all right. i appreciate that he's come but my life is okay at the present moment. someone remarks over my shoulder that he's done an awful lot to prove he still cares about me. i glance back and shoot her and evil look but before i can say anything he chimes in with of course i still care about her. we ended things badly even if neither one of us was holding a grudge. he hadn't expected me to move on so quickly but he couldn't begrudge me that as i hadn't done that with him. after a while he just felt foolish trying to keep in touch so he didn't. all sounds plausible right? i mean that is what i hope someone would say to me but the rest of it. the above and beyond displays of emotion for him just threw me off and it gets better lol. i let him go at that point and said i needed to get my friends home but maybe we could talk later. they all volunteered to get dropped off with one friend so that the two of us could talk. again i shot everyone one of those da hell is wrong with y'all glances and agreed. we drove away together, they got out about ten minutes later, and we got to my place to talk. he said he had made a mistake will never EVER admit that even when it is the case to me and that he needed to apologize to me see previous note. he knew i was stunned and gave me time to process. i made a drink instead and asked him why now, why was this important to tell me now. he actually had been very concerned about me not making it on my own and just wanted to make sure i was okay. i handed him a drink and sat down on a couch opposite him and was happy to wake up a short time later. nothing had been resolved and nothing had gotten too intense but talk about a way to screw up the happy thoughts i was having before bed.

don't get me wrong Emperor was one of the single most important men in my life for what he gave me and allowed me to explore about myself. but unless it is really warranted i tend to avoid daydreaming about my ex's especially when they have made it crystal clear that they no longer want to be romantically involved with me. and in this case we were on two different wavelengths with that which is even more of a reason to not let my brain drift off like this. now i know you are thinking she's tripping. it was just a dream and dreams don't mean anything. on the whole you are most likely right. it was a subconscious manifestation of emotions left festering in my neural pathways. again i say most likely you are right, it just had the feel of one of those random give it x number of months and this scene will be playing out exactly and you have a decision to make when it does. didn't i insinuate by now that i will not enjoy and do not desire to play that out. we said good-bye to that and i'd prefer to leave it that way. so whatever powers that be that control my predictive dreams can we cancel that last one and play out the first one i had last night.

i was with Roaming Soldier (FINALLY LOL and how unexpected) and having sated our need to both inflict and receive pain, he was buried deeply inside me and we were moving only when necessary to relieve pressure. i haven't done that in ages by the way. just connect to one another and let the pleasure of just being able to touch one another shove you into happy endorphin range. i highly recommend it lol. it was so nice. the sweat was dripping off of us that was there due to friction and excitement of the moment. fingers, tongues, bodies all happily pressed together. it was a lovely postlude to that intense unleashing of the beast that occurred moments before it and i know was sparked by the sweet smile i went to bed with after i heard from him. i won't get into more detail than that right now but i'm feeling another sugasm post being created. it's amazing how much water has been tied to my thoughts of him and that one i can't explain at all. i do enjoy the smiling though. so yes my dreams are strange and twisted but i would prefer to just have the ones that make me blush and not the ones that make me think.

okay i have channeled my inner babbler enough, see ya


sugasm 27

Saturday, March 25, 2006 No comments
i have been having an orgasmic day and i'm sure this will help it out immensely or make it more intense or whatever lol

The best of the sex blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Posts are cut at F within each category, categories shift around and change between editions depending on what you send me, and you can get in on the next one by using this form. Participants, repost the linklist by the end of Monday night and you're all set.


HNT #4 - Assume the Position (
I Don't Mind it Rough (
Kneeling (
Making Love in the Rain Revisited (
Monde Imaginaire (
The Notorious Bettie Page (
Sadist Taking What is His (
Spanking Site Review: Bars and Stripes (
Thigh High Boots (video) (
Training and Surrender (
Choices - Part Five (
D/s Correspondence (

Erotica/Erotic Experiences

In Three Minds (
My Ultimate Fantasy (
The Slow Fuck (
Teen Lesbians Brittney and Avril on Sapphic Erotica (
The Vixxen Chronicles - Walking Funny, Pt. 3 (
Welcome To My Fantasy (
Coach T...Ch. 5 (
Dear Pussy (

More Sugasm...... Join the Sugasm

Sex Work

I am now a sex worker (
Half-Nekkid: Topless and Thinking (
Mothers and Prostitutes Don't Mix (


Going Home (
Single Double (
Women Aren't the Only Complex Creatures (
Caught Kissing in the Copier Room (


Save the Date! NYC Perverts' Saloon - Monday, April 3rd (
Twilight + Thebes Podcast Discusses Paddles + Devil Girl Sushi Table (


Gracie on Abby Winters (
My Sister's Best Friend Review (
I Feel Myself - The Art of Orgasm (
Oops, I forgot. The word of the day is "moisture" (
Sincerely LaRue (
S Spot Hentai Links (

Thoughts on Sex: Sex Commentary, Sex Advice, Blogging

Faking (
Fingering (
Long Ass POST! (
Twats and Knives: Together at Last (
Variety Act (
Advice - Tasting Yourself (
Anatomy Lessons Part 1 (
Come (

Sex News / Grab Bag

For the Youthful-Looking Cooter You Deserve (
Mardi Gras Spanking (
Profaning the sacred (
They've Went and Bottled the Pussy! (
Tom Cruise's Cock (
Charges Dropped in Teacher Sex Scandal (
Dress Up Britney Spears (


Killing An Erection (
after a few shots...(


some stuff just makes me smile

Friday, March 24, 2006 4 comments
i am half asleep as i type this. well that's not true, i'm tired but it's more an emotional thing right now. my mommy, the one that has been acting so wonderful, has finally returned to her normal mommy self and is driving me nuts. she is pouting about any and everything she can be. she is disappointed that we can't move out immediately because the small children (they are like 2 and 3) above us are making normal children noises. i understand that part of it is because she really has been more sensitive to things which i get but good lord woman hush it. she really is acting like a two year old and since i got no pleasure in making her and am receiving no benefits from sleeping with her father (go with the analogy, i don't mean literally as that would be SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO nasty) she really is just getting on my nerves. needless to say that didn't make me smile.

but the rest of the day has. funny emails, sleeping in, watching my stories for the first time in about six months and just roaming around the internet. i came upon THIS today while roaming condomania's website which in and of itself makes me smile. talking to my male buddies on the computer today really made me want to send it to all of them and order em a box to see if it really made a difference. i am so serious about conducting a focus group though. so if you can give me honest feedback we might be able to arrange testing situations for ya. well at least the supplies lol.

and then about forty minutes ago Roaming Soldier was able to log on briefly and make me smile. and i tried really hard to make him smile before he logged off. i think i succeeded but i may have just distracted him lol. but hey it keeps me on his brain for a while longer and i get to think about what size custom fit he might need. plus the new elexa condoms by trojan that are supposed to be specially suited to be more pleasing to the female anatomy. i need to make test runs immediately after he releases all that built up tension he has right now. and hell it will help me release all this momma negative energy. and let's face it being impaled would be nice (and make me start smiling again) i am also sad to report that kittens will be dying this evening. well i'm not really sad about it but i apologize to all of those that love the kitten population out there. i've seen too many attractive, kinky, nasty things today and talked to one man that spawns nasty kinky things in me. RIP kitties.

be good or be good at it

eta: Dinosaurs the old tv series is coming out on DVD on May 2, if you remember it and the frequent "not the momma" uttered by the baby you'll know why i am grinning.


ohhh i feel pretty lol

Thursday, March 23, 2006 9 comments
okay so as you can tell, if your browser has refreshed the site at all, the velvet rope has had a little work done. seeing cuddleslut's new page made me all jealous so i had to get a new one too. okay so that's not entirely true but i was hoping to find something a bit more red and a bit more submissive. i think mija has done a wonderful job of capturing both aspects for me and i couldn't be more grateful. she is the absolute best. she also made some very nice banners for me that will show up on two of the bdsm link exchange sites i'm listed on pretty soon. Night Owl i'm doing my little happy dance now by the way. i can't say i needed a face lift or anything but it's nice to shed our skin from time to time and see what lovely things may fall out. this is far more than i was planning at the time but again a huge thanks goes to mija for all of her work.

this week flew by literally. that could be because i am happy and the kids were all gone from campus. traffic was light, parking was easy, case load was minimal and i finally took care of a few lingering issues with my car including a lovely flat tire monday morning. things with mom have been lowkey and joy of joys she's leaving shortly after her birthday and won't be back for a few weeks. red gets to dance around the house naked again. red gets to dance around the house naked again. this will be a different happy dance altogehter but i surely will be doing one. i'd be dancing more and happier like if there was someone here to dance for but it is what it is at the moment. all this time alone lingering and missing being in service will just make me all the more ready and keyed up the next time i get to be used, abused, tormented, nurtured, loved and cherished. yeah buddy, red gets to dance around naked.

there are a number of people and things that have me smiling and i just have to thank my higher power that i have them around. if you have listened to or been harassed by a Prince fan to listen to the newest release (3121, buy here or here) from His Royal Badness please give it a listen. this is probably one of his best albums in the last four or five years. i loved musicology but i think i might have been one of the only ones lol. the cd is a good mix of funky Prince, sexual Prince and the very outspoken spiritual Prince. incense and candels, satisfied, fury, the word, and beautiful loved and blessed have had me bopping around the house for the last day and a half. i am not usually a singer, i mean i do in the car but no one care hear me but i have been singing beautiful loved and blessed like i need to be testifying to someone that life and love are both WONDERFUL right now. and they are. i am tired and overworked and i could deal with a vacation but my bills are paid, my family is healthy, my friends love and support me, this damn dissertation WILL be conquered and i may be starting a wonderful life with a man that makes me smile at least four times while i'm singing beautiful loved and blessed. and now i have this nice new site to play around in. red is a happy happy girl.

be loved and be blessed


don't mind me i'm rambling

Wednesday, March 22, 2006 1 comment
so as i'm sitting here thinking to myself about what to type i think i might really be at a loss for once. my mind has one central thought circulating through it and there are only so many ways i can explain to you how i want to molest Roaming Soldier. i may enumerate them later but right now it's safe to say i like most of them a LOT. i put off blogging for hours today and i'm not sure why. i'm not that tired and i'm not terribly distracted. i've been watching entirely too much miami ink and it makes me tear up with some of the stories. in between that though i watched SVU and The Unit. okay Dennis Haysbert is not my perfect idea of a Dom but he makes me puddle like everytime he starts talking. oh my he's luscious. strong, tall, powerful with a booming voice. i would happily drop to my knees if he said sit still pet lol. and he's a gemini like my father, brother, Roaming Soldier and Prince (some of the most important men in my life lol) so he'd balance me out nicely. i have no idea what it is about gemini men, because their split personalities so don't bother me, but they make me feel safe and secure almost instaneously. acknowledging how spoiled my father made me, it is very important for that to occur if i am going to really see someone for any length of time. the fact that Roaming Soldier is a twin born under gemini just makes me giggle but i enjoy the giggling.

the first wives club is on again. if you have never seen it watch it sometimes. it's cute like legally blonde was. but i don't recommend it if you are having a bad breakup. during the initial stage it's not a productive film. i spoke with Sidra tonight about a few things and despite my best intentions i have to admit that i am not constantly superhuman. those moments when i get to be are great but really i just want to be adored and taken care of. i'm not looking for a pedestal (it hurts to fall off of those damn things) but as i have noted at least personally, i would greatly enjoy having someOne in particular to share all the highs and lows with. and not really all--some stuff just because of what i do has to remain solely on my shoulders. but the truth of the matter is i miss being spoiled by the man i see as incredibly wonderful and that will appreciate it and kiss me on my cheek just because it will make me smile. granted right now he'd be bending WAY down lol but i would enjoy that a lot. okay no i lust you let me count the ways post about Roaming Soldier tonight. i'll try again tomorrow.

love ya


it's time for all good subs to be in bed

Tuesday, March 21, 2006 5 comments
i have really have to get used to going to bed on a regular schedule. it goes against my natural internal clock (haven't slept since infancy really--weird kid i swear) but the rest of my life needs to be in tune with the rest of the world. primarily because Roaming Soldier, while sweet enough to stay up with me from time to time, is not a night owl. the Littlest Soldier is more like me but she's six and that's not exactly a lobbying point for me. i'm sure i'd have been thoroughly used and put to bed by now but on those nights when life has overwhelmed us both my chronic insomnia would probably be kicking my cute subbie behind again. now i know someone is probably wondering when did she start making plans to move in with RS and the LS? i haven't lol i'm just thinking long-term in the best case scenario. that's what i do hear from time to time you all know that lol.

this floaty get to know one another period is very enjoyable for me. it's nice to interact with the people that know him and get a feel for who he is through the eyes of other folks just like i am able to see what Domination and submission look like from his perspective. that ever present chord that keeps one bound to the other but not walking around house chained to him. not that there is anything wrong with or if the situation was different i wouldn't be more than willing to do so but ummm there is no need to warp the LS's brain. she's got decades to get nearly as demented as myself or her father. and we aren't really demented but you know what i mean. well i don't think he's demented, the jury may still be out on me.

today work was hilarious but i can't really explain why. it's inside office humor and it wouldn't translate here at all. just know that i laughed my butt off today. i daydreamed about Roaming Soldier when i closed myself up in the office. it's so empty, especially at the end of the day, that i would love to drag him into my nice corner office with no windows and see how long i could stay suspended to the coat rack in the door while he did all manner of interesting things to me. that was only briefly interrupted by thoughts of him in my shower. okay i've explained that i'm rather short (5'3''/5'4'') and as i was washing my hair in the shower last night it dawned on me that he'd NEVER be able to stand up in my shower more than likely. the tub looks deeper than it is and there is a weird ridge that gives me maybe a foot or so before i'd be touching the ceiling. now if he was just a foot taller than me he'd be uncomfortable but would probably be okay. as he's about a foot and half taller than me yeah i don't think he'd be okay lol. my tub would mean mandatory bubble bath which is good as he liked the long soak post from before but sometimes a good hard screw against the shower wall is all a girl needs in her life. but then again i'm sure he's used to accomodating his height in various showers so i will continue to indulge my random fantasies.

i got spoiled this weekend. we talked a lot and i remembered why he's made me giggle so much and i like that. we also talked about the long soak and his appreciation for my imagination and plotting on how to make things a reality. he made me blush (redden lol) and i made him smile---no sweeter words to a sub i tell ya. it made me dream happy things, and then last night i woke up thinking about him tracing the blade of a very nice knife across my chest and back. i see the knife clearly. i might have to go looking for it.

other than that i have had some very interesting conversations with a few other Dominiant men lately. this is not a knock to my sub sisters at all, but it is incredibly intriguing to watch their (Doms') wheels turn. it's amazing how well they read us but then know we have to be able to discuss the wants and needs from our end in order to keep everyone happy. i didn't ask about their need to dominate us but you know eventualy i will. it was just nice not to have to explain that rampant desire in myself to submit to and be owned by someone who craves to own me and keep me. made me want to do a little happy dance and all. i love this place i'm in now i swear. i can't wait to curl up with RS and i know it will likely be after some nipple clamps have shaken me loose from my composure. okay i'm going to go to bed now lol.

y'all be good


red velvet: the introductory text

Monday, March 20, 2006 4 comments
i sure do like talking about myself huh? well of course i do otherwise this blog wouldn't be up. but this post is probably going to be more humor than deep and introspective. it came up tonight, as it does from time to time, that i am quite appropriately a textbook sub. by that i don't mean that i read up and came to the conclusion that this might work for me. i did do some reading and it did seem like it might work but that isn't what i meant. i mean if you open a book and start reading off the list of "submissive" qualities you'll find me in there almost to the letter. i delight in pleasing people (well people that i like). i can find a way to get in trouble only because i want to be punished. i get excited about bondage equipment sales and have to fight myself to stop from ordering things. even my more mundane fantasies involve me giving myself over to someone else to control and whom i will derive most of my pleasure from knowing they are happy. and after a kinky conversation it takes me most of the day to shake off the sensation. at this point, i am just enjoying exploring the world through another Dom's eyes and trying not to entertain any really truly twisted fantasies. enjoy the post from my guest poster below this one and have a good night ladies and gents.



the views about to be expressed.....

hell you know the rest if you have seen enough infomercials. i told you a friend would be sharing a post with you all about his weekend of drama. here ya go:

Don't Expect Ish From Anyone

First off, let me put out this disclaimer, that I shoulda knew better than to expect anything from anyone, cause when you expect anything is when you’re damn near guaranteed to be disappointed. Now, on to my story, it all started around a month and a half ago. This chick I've known for many, many years informed me that she would be coming to Atlanta to visit friends and to visit me as well. At this point in time plans for spending the night together as well as "extracurricular" activities began. So there has been a build up of anticipation at least on my side, and on hers from what I could tell. Through some slight tiffs and moments, we managed to make it to this past weekend where she would arrive in Atlanta on Friday afternoon and leave Monday morning. The plan was to arrive on Friday night, me pick her up, bring her back to my residence and then have my way with her until Sunday morning when I would take her back to her friends. So that's the background, get it, got it, good.
Ok, so that sounds like a great plan, but things just didn't go like that, so sad. Well, she ends up arriving Friday afternoon according to the plan and informs me that she is going out to eat with her girlfriends (around 6pm) and then she would get back at me so that I could come get her. I get a text message around 10pm letting me know that she was still eating, so I call her at 11pm and her girl answers the phone and lets me know that she is in the shower. Here I am thinking that I'm going to get a call back, boy was I wrong, and there I go expecting shit again. So Friday night comes and goes with no type of response from her and she calls me at 2pm on Saturday, knowing that I was at work. So when I get off work at 3pm, I call her and I get no response. So around 5pm, I finally hear from her and she informs me that her and her girlfriends are out shopping, but the kicker is that her girlfriends have informed her that they are not going to let her go anywhere with me, and if they did, they were ALL going to have to come with us. Damn they was blocking like Dikembe Mutumbo in the middle of the lane. So now we have to improvise our plan and say that we are going on a date so that they will let her out of their supervision and when they did that, we were just going to head to Athens and she would come back the next day and they would be ok in the grand scheme of things. So at around 7 something I finally get on the road to go pick her up and set the plan into motion. The trip is over an hour long, but I finally get there. When she comes outside to get into the car, she asks me "Where are we going?" and I said to my spot like we had planned, and her response was "I can't go to your spot". The reason is because her friends had guilted her into believing that they were the all important rulers of her life and that she had to come with them no matter what. So instead of being a grown woman and making decisions for herself, she let her friends make the decision for her. So she tells me that she is trying to find a situation that will make everyone happy, me being the logical person that I am, I let her know that there was no way that she would be able to make everyone happy. So after I picked her up, we sat in the car for 45 minutes and discussed the pros and the cons. He ultimate ideas were: 1) That I go to the club with them (wasn't dressed for the club, and I didn't feel like going to the club, so that was a no) and 2) Was that I sit around town somewhere and wait for them to get back from the club and then take her to my spot. Folks, let me remind you that at this point it was 10pm and we all know that no one really gets home before the club before like 3am, and she expected me to just sit in my car or something and wait for her. What kind of asinine bull shit is that? So I just came home alone and wasted damn near 4 hours of my life for a blank ass trip, all because she let her friends make decisions for her instead of being a grown woman and telling them what she was going to do. But I guess that's what I get for expecting shit from what I thought was a grown woman, lesson learned and accepted.


making love in the rain revisted

Sunday, March 19, 2006 10 comments
i have been looking forward to this moment all day. the storm has made me want to crawl back into bed and undress slowly underneath the blankets. every stitch of clothing makes me think of you and the fact that your hands will be on me soon. i look at my skirt and blouse in a neat little pile and consider getting out of bed to put them away when i hear the front door open and close. your footfalls are voice great me next. i let you know where i am and smile as i pull the blanket back far enough for you to know i am wearing just the lingerie you picked out for me that morning, well most of it. you couldn't have known it was going to rain but as soon as it started you knew to make sure that i came straight home. my hair is in loose curls around my head and i'm sure i must look like a disheveled child but you touch my cheek and tell me you'd have me no other way. i blush and i am again quite glad that you picked me to be here with you.

the storm intensifies outside and a splash of lightening illuminates the trees in the yard. no music is playing but i hear the song in my head just the same making love in the rain, i can't believe the joy it brings me. you undress and are next to me before the next crash of thunder. the kisses are gentle, exploring, pleading for a moment. hands are timid and soft in areas they have roamed dozens of times. flesh is heated and bodies move toward each other into that lock and key spot where we just fit together. you whisper in my ear all of the ways you are going to make my body yield to yours and i blush again. your imagination never fails to amaze me. before i can stop you i feel you disappearing beneath the covers and your mouth is parting the lips that don't speak. your inquiries are intense and probing and i can only give you simple replies---yes, please, more. my body quivers and you seize the opportunity to use and abuse the set of lips much higher than you are now. you pull the covers off of us both and lean back against the footboard. i wait for permission to move and once granted it i crawl between your thighs. you don't bother with more formalities and quickly insert yourself down my throat. i am lost in the sensation of taking you inside myself. your thumb brushes my top lip before you let your head sink back and you sigh into the stillness of our bedroom. my pace increases and the current of pleasure between us is riding an intense circuit. you say enough and i slowly remove my mouth from you being sure to kiss each inch as i do. you stand up quickly and tie my hands behind my back. a few quick swats with the crop and my ass is stinging. i want to ask for more but we both know the rain puts us in a different space. pain is not the focus today. the current is paramount.

your fingers interlace mine as you climb behind me and slide inside me to the hilt. there is a moment of adjustment for both of us. me partially because i have to keep my head and upper torso at this downward angle otherwise i'll hurt myself and you because you know i want you to hurt me just like this and you aren't ready to do so. fingers are so gentle, they match the pace you've started and that creates a low moan in my throat. your hands leave mine and start moving over the skin that is warm and excited to feel your caress. my thighs, my ass, my back, my throat are all touched in kind and my mind is flooded with pleasure and the words again making love in the rain, i can't believe the joy it brings me. you only slightly increase your pace, choosing to focus more on deep penetration than speed at the moment. your hand yanks my hair back and i whimper at its suddeness but my body just opens up to you as it always does. the pressure building inside me is so wonderful, thank heavens for the rain.

it isn't long before my hands are free and you are beneath me. i use my hands to brace myself momentarily as you sink inside me and we begin rocking together. i play with my hair and neck as you grab and twist my nipples. i shudder as your thumb massages my clit and i float off into a lovely orgasm. you see my eyes glaze over and flip me over onto my back. your arm pulls me to you and forces that arch in my back i do so enjoy. your mouth journeys between my breasts and neck leaving me covered in bites and hickies and providing me with a lovely sensation of being devoured again. your thrusting intensifies and my hips are rushing to meet yours. the rain is coming down in sheets now and whatever sounds may have left my lips are being drowned out by that noise. you kiss me deeply and roughly, i know that we are both close to the edge and i do so enjoy the feeling. you focus on pulsing throb inside me and i am crying for the sheer wonder of pleasure washing over me again, that current--the circuit that keeps us connected. i lick and suck your neck as you have done to mine over and over again. you moan in an almost guttural way in my ear and that sends me over the cliff. you respond to the tugging from deep inside me by filling me with your seed. the rain is the only thing that is heard for a while. our breathing, is ragged and takes a while to return to normal. are you happy sir? "yes, girl i am," you whisper in my ear. i smile the smile i always do when you tell me i have pleased you. you kiss me again and i wrap my arms around you, happy to have you with me, still lodged inside me. i drift off after you bite my neck again and lay your head next to mine. the sound of the rain, your breathing and the song soothe me as i fall asleep never happier for wet weather making love in the rain, i can't believe the joy it brings me.


my brain hurts

well not so much hurts but it's being bombarded by things and people. because of one of the boards that i visit i have been getting approached by a few single Doms looking for a good sub. that's all right and good and since i haven't been collared to date they are well within their rights to approach me. and i am well within mine to ignore them. i am trying to introduce them to other single subs or Dommes (as the case may be one guy is digging the idea of switching roles) to no avail. i've actually been trying to match up people all over the place. one of my ex's that keeps proposing is maybe getting attached to a friend out of state. not sure what will happen there but if they met and fell in love and got married and had babies i'd be eternally grateful.

i talked to my brother and he is doing well as is his wife. that's very lovely for me. i adore the happy marriedness about them. it gives me hope and makes me smile. i talked to my girlfriend tonight and she was doing well, drunk off her butt and missing pillar but she was doing well. and for that i am happy as well. it's been a long week and she was allowed to decompress most of it. with a glitch here or there she made it through relatively unscathed. the rest of the blogland is experiencing upheavals here and there. hugs to taylor and all those that need it in the subverse and the bdsm community at large. i have spoken sporadically to lots of folks today and maybe that's why my head is throbbing right now. i'll be posting something here eventually for a male friend who had a horrible weekend with a woman who was unsure about what she wanted and put him through changes as a result. there is nothing wrong with not knowing what you want. just don't drag other people into your confusion. it's unfair to them and whomever they deal with RIGHT after you. my mother while not annoying was just a little taxing this evening.

i sealed up letters to Roaming Soldier, i think i mentioned that earlier but if not ha ha now ya know. due to the heightened security surrounding most bases right now he won't be getting them anytime soon. he would prefer they not be read and fondled before he got a chance to fondle the pages himself lol. ahh i guess you figured it out that we spoke tonight too. not entirely too long but long enough to make each other giggle about random things. he said a very daddy like thing and i couldn't help but smile. and by that i mean he said something that just made me think of my father. which may have annoyed the crap out of me or made me go running for cover had i met him a few years ago but daddy was a good man even with all of his issues. they weren't ones that typically interfered with our relationship but i do have to be aware of them. as for Roaming Soldier, well he and i have just fallen into an easy rhythm with one another that i like. and all of his daddy like qualities make me very at ease with him. i could definitely use him now to help get rid of this blasted headache. nothing like a good endorphin rush to help alleviate an ache or pain. small break for what can only be described as "Learning math with your Dom."

after a brief discussion about the Littlest Soldier's desire to avoid all math homework, i smart assly replied (and i know assly is not a word)---no one should like math unless they are getting spanked. RS's reply--"4 paddles and a riding crop, equal fun" followed not long after something else that just made me want to kidnap him immediately. and no i won't be sharing that piece but it just expaned on the mathematical enjoyment that a attentive Dom can bring to His sub. between the tylenol i took and just thinking happy things because i spoke to him tonight my headache is beginning to dull. the next post i make will probably venture off into sugasm territory lol.

see ya


lazy day in bed

Saturday, March 18, 2006 No comments
so i have been doing nothing all day. i went to bed very late and i woke up late as a result. nothing particularly wrong with that but it's made me not want to get out of bed. my dreams were dull and left a lot to be desired. i did finish a letter to Roaming Soldier and i am in the process of making dinner but other than that haven't done a whole lot. i'm lounging around half-naked. and for some reason i am just now recognizing i didn't submit anything to sugasm this week. it was kind of a dull week and i directed all of my sexual frustration into killing kittens and into a letter to RS. my brain has just been occupied i guess and nothing of overt sexual longing has spilled forth in the last seven days. i won't force it today but i'm feeling more ummm inspired as it were today. no good reason for that other than i want to be elsewhere doing other things than just pecking away here.

i have been playing that game that cuddleslut won't mention all day. i have figured out the trick to making some of the ideas i want to drop. if i can exploit that for a few more days then i should be able to pull off my request for certain ideas at the ridiculous price i was willing to pay for them. i can't get one to drop and i don't know if that is because the blogs in them just haven't been updated or if i am just not playing fast enough to catch them. i'm also on an artefact gathering expedition. i really should stop as i don't need any more money but flipping the blogs for 350 million at a pop is entirely too much fun.

hold on gotta check on dinner. okay potatoes will be done soon and then it's time for baked chicken and mashed potatoes. i don't know if i mentioned this before, i probably did at some point, but 30 has made me want to start nesting. i'm not sure if that is because the age itself has made me want to be more stable or if my mother moving in has made me desperately need someone to balance me out but i am in full on nesting mode. and it's not even that i'm off some life plan i had for myself. i abandoned that puppy after i left HS boyfriend but it is on my mind to be more relationship focused as of late. Roaming Soldier makes that not seem like some distant far off dream. taking care of him and the Littlest Soldier would provide at least a piece of the balance i'm looking for. i'm sure the rest will just come with getting acclimated to having bodies in my house and to looking forward to sharing my dreams and their lives with. i've had good friends around for a while but i'm making new ones who i consider near and dear as my life moves forward in the lifestyle. i'm looking forward to the possibilities again. the situation is forcing patience which is a good thing, well except for the kitten population. i'll finish dinner and be back. it won't be lazy day in bed part two but what it will cover is beyond me.

love ya


a quickie before bed

Friday, March 17, 2006 No comments
this won't be long. i should be sleeping at this point. my body is still all tingly though so i have to write this and then finish something else so i can go to sleep. it's been a hectic week, sped by and what not, and i have been keyed up since it started. tonight i was bidding a few kittens good-bye and before i knew it my im window burst open and Roaming Soldier inserted himself into the moment. well not literally even though that would have been lovely but when he asked what i was doing and told me to be honest i did lol. if he was caught off guard he didn't let me know and we discussed it briefly before we even more briefly broached the Dom/sub relationship emerging for us. it was nice and since he didn't tell me to stop well i didn't while we talked. for some reason that didn't speed the process to a conclusion and actually delayed it for nearly 20 minutes after he signed off. ahh he does make me smile. okay bedtime ladies and gents, i'll post more tomorrow/today i'm sure.



tagged by a slut lol

Wednesday, March 15, 2006 4 comments
okay by cuddleslut but i just saw it and if you get addicted to blogshares, i'm sorry!

ten things i'll never say

  1. you drive me insane and if i had way you wouldn't be living with me because i believe you can do these things alone even though you won't try to do them
  2. you sucked sometimes as a parent and you definitely sucked at marriage
  3. you are such a pretty girl to be so vapid and stupid, i really wish you would do better
  4. no we cannot just fuck around, you're married damn it and as much as i used to want nothing more than you to come to me, i can never have you the way i want to
  5. you did things to my body that i cannot even begin to understand and i am very sorry you are in the situation you are in now
  6. you are some trifling two faced arrogant heffas and i hope vermin crawl into your crevices and hatch gross things in your skulls
  7. i want to thank you for reminding me why i don't trust women, it wasn't even that you wanted him more than you gave a damn about me it's that you straight lied to both of us in order to get him all to yourself, if you hurt him i will cut you off at the kneecaps right before i dice you into bits and spread your body out at the pound
  8. you made me know the possibilities of love when it is selfless and i appreciate that gift, i hope she doesn't make me cut her off at the kneecaps though
  9. you will never acknowledge what happened between us and that's why we can't be friends you ignorant bastid
  10. guess what, not only am i bi but i am also a masochistic submissive chick that likes it when her man spanks and hurts her lol

5 songs

  1. 2pac & company--hit em up, it's vitrol on wax to be sure and i love every angry syllable of it. i'm not really angry but if i start thinking about the trick in 7 i need to decompress before i get out of my car
  2. christina aguilera--infatuation, really i love half a dozen songs on that cd but this one makes me wiggle my behind and think of Roaming Soldier watching my behind wiggle, it's a nice beat and it makes me want to go salsa dancing with RS
  3. prince--joy in repetition, RS is bored out of his skull right now at basic, i mean can you blame him? he keeps mentioning repeating the same things over and over again, this song reminds one of the more pleasant things that can be repeated.
  4. santana and guests--cry baby cry/my man, both songs originally made me think dreamily of this man that i wanted in my life that would go to the ends of the earth to repair our relationship OR make my want to shout from the rooftops that i have found a GOOD man that does just what i need him to do. RS just makes me believe it just might be him.
  5. solo--in bed, most of you probably have no idea who solo is but i adored their cd when it came out, this song is just so sweet and sensual and who doesn't want to spend some time in bed with someone they love (cannot find lyrics to this thing anywere)

that's it for now, the other long one i'll have to revisit when my brain is functioning better lol


it's a c-o-n-spiracy

okay so maybe conspiracy is over reaching but when i'm feeling most inclined to blog, blogger is having a tantrum and i can't get in. that is annoying, sometimes an inconvenience but what can you do as the service is free. i have been actually falling asleep like a grown up and going to work on time and being in general kinda productive. i still need to handle some rewrites on my dissertation but as i left my flash drive at home today that won't happen while i'm in the office. instead i will blog at random and write a letter to Roaming Soldier. my two morning clients both cancelled and this afternoon i just have walk-in clinic. but i'm not doing two of the hours HOPEFULLY because i have graduate clinicians to train in those time slots. less paperwork makes red very happy. but in general these days there isn't a whole lot to be unhappy about.

thankfully pms is making its departure from my life and my normal slightly higher than most sex drive will be returning (i do appreciate that). i had to leave work earlier than normal yesterday because it felt like someone was stomping on my belly. i also had to go to the dmv yesterday because i had no earthly idea how long it would take to process my license tags and the out of state bad boys i have (that should have been switched over in ohhh august) expire at the end of this month. so me all crampy and not happy trekked over to the dmv closest to my apartment. nice friendly man, being very talkative until he keys in my address. oh honey you are 4 blocks into the next county so you have to go back to the highway, up another 13 miles and then go to that tax assessor's office to get your tags. umm having never really lived anywhere that made such a distinction on county lines (i mean it was clear if you were out of the county because you were usually in a different part of town all together), we all know that i was very annoyed but went on up to get it done. while it was relatively crowded things were handled quickly and i walked out with my new tags. not my new driver's license because they won't take the secondary id i have lol but that doesn't expire till my birthday in december so i'm safe. by then the lovely state of my birth should forward me a copy of my birth certificate so i can walk back into any dmv branch and get that replaced. but really why does my birth certificate cost more than my tags did?

thanks to crimson i was able to preview one of the new songs from prince's upcoming 3121 album. have i ever mentioned how much i LOVE prince? he's absolutely positively the most amazing musician i've ever seen live. he is one of the only people i know that makes me like the live versions of their songs BETTER than the originals. and not to mention he's a total goofball and doesn't take himself that seriously. he's repeatedly opened up his home and studio to fans (like myself lol) to come in and listen to music, take a tour and on rare occasions sit down and talk to him about what made him do xyz or not do xyz. during his one nite alone tour (absolutely amazing and if i ever just have to get married somewhere there's a theater we saw in kentucky because of him that would be perfect), he let all of us come in for soundchecks and watch them rehearse, some folks got to play his guitar and more than a few of us got to sing onstage with him. not me as i am so beyond lacking musical talent but it was cool to see at the shows i went to. and during that kentucky show as i was listening to soundcheck turn into a theologicial discussion on religion and church and its place in our lives (it was bizarre, you had to be there) the joy of my young life occurred. prince came down the aisle i was sitting on to hand the microphone to someone in front of me and i talking to my girlfriend completely missed that he had sat down for at least 30 seconds. she made the oddest face so i turned and was face to face with my musical idol, we talked for a few minutes and then he was back into the mix having a conversation about alter boys with someone else. for nearly half an hour i had no idea what we talked about but i do know i nearly wet myself because i was sitting close enough to kiss the man. that of course would have gotten me tossed out on my ass and it never even crossed my mind to do so. it was surreal and that show kicked ass and the theater was stunning. but you know what i got asked everytime i recounted that story to someone who KNEW how much i loved prince and how much that random meeting meant to me? what did he smell like??? oh my god ROFLMAO i have to honestly say i have died laughing everytime it was asked. and for those of you that are wondering he just smelled fresh, fresh shower, fresh clothes, no heavy cologne just fresh. all of that is completely off tangent. if you remotely like prince i highly advise picking up musicology and 3121 on March 21st when it is readily available to you. if you are in the fan club order it now and depending on the shipping option you choose it will be in your hands on the 21st as well but you don't have to worry about living in podunk and the store being out by the time you get off work if you do that too lol. i hated living in podunk for that reason.

like i said somewhere before i started rambling incessantly, things are good and i am happy. i still want to go back to bed but that is just laziness on my part creeping in. i heard from RS last night. very short but made me giggle and blush and do a little happy dance primarily because it was unexpected. it's nice to know you are on someone's mind as much as they are on yours. of course i jotted him a quick note back and smothered him with electronic kisses lol. i really cannot wait until he's done with this and we can just lounge around and discuss how best to get one out of a cookie peddler outfit.

okay that's enough for now, hopefully i won't be back to continue spouting on and on tonight but if so i know i'll be entertaining at least lol.

your resident goofball


revisiting submission, sort of

Monday, March 13, 2006 2 comments
back in october i waxed philosophical about what i thought my submission was and this post will attempt to do that again in addition to a myriad of other things. for those you that that know and love taylor this may be more in line with her very introspective posts so get some food if you need it because i will be rambling for a bit.

at the time i was questioning myself and my ability to submit to Emperor because i missed the daily interaction and guidance that i felt was lacking and that others seemed to be getting no matter how much they did or didn't want it. things ebb and flow with D/s relationships. as it was my first, the ebbing and flowing could throw me into a bit of a tailspin from time to time. who was i if i wasn't His pet? it was nearly impossible for me to separate being a submissive from being pet. again, pitfalls of the first relationship. so happy, so eager to please, so devastated when one has appeared to fail. but i am slightly wiser for the experience all around. especially since the overarching message from my time with him is that i am a submissive, hell i'm slavish when i feel a deep enough connection to the One that owns me. not only am i a submissive with slave tendencies but i truly enjoy and thrive when that piece of my life is in place.

that is not to say that i am out of sync and failing to grow without a Dom at the moment. well that's not entirely true. i miss having someone to guide and direct me but life is moving forward. work is getting done. i'm calm again. i'm hypersexual again lol. i am looking for a new someone. well that's not true either lol. thanks to Night Owl i may have found my new someOne. Roaming Soldier is absolutely wonderful in his completely unique way. when we are able to talk it feels like we are cramming days together into a few moments time. it's inane in a way, makes no logical sense, but RS makes me smile and dream of possibilities. of spending time with him and his daughter. of suffering through mommy stories about me that she has to tell repeatedly much to his delight. of being wonderfully domestic and settled. but most of all of fully submitting to someone new. to someone who is embracing me in a different way and has an entirely different way of potentially enfolding me into his life. it's exciting and intriguing and as you have all read quite stimulating.

so what is submission? for me it is an inherent part of who i am. i let it consume me for a while. it was wonderful being consumed don't get me wrong but it was causing a bit of chaos in my life to be real and i'm sure caused a bit of chaos in his. back to what i was saying though. i am a submissive woman. i relate to the world from that standpoint and i am happiest that way. it gives me intense pleasure to turn my will over to someOne that is willing to both appreciate that gift and wants to nurture, shape and guide me into His ultimate desire for the two of us. or in this case potentially the four of us (RS, myself, his daughter and my delightfully quirky mother). regardless of who claims the gift at this point (whooo crossing fingers and toes that it's RS because i do find him so adorable lol and his new name would be so cute), i am now and will always be submissive, derential and looking for someOne that makes me crave his dominance in my life. someOne that simultaneously helps me balance on the line that makes me both His princess and His slut. the person that makes me want to cuddle up to Him and discuss our day before showering, stripping and prostrating myself before Him. this is only person that can own both my body and my heart, both of which will be given to the person that cradles me to Him after visiting upon me the most intense physical pain imaginable and wrapping me up in His loving arms to comfort me.

so for the moment this is what i believe submission to be. i'm sure i'll come back to it eventually. i always do as i am thinking entirely too much most of the time.

see ya boys and girls


the rain, writing letters and pms

okay for the last three or four days it's been storming something awful around here. it's great for sleeping but it's bad for my thoughts. by bad i mean that they have run amuck with thoughts of Roaming Soldier and i doing things that would at least make us guilty of public nudity if not public lewdness among an assortment of other things. i am not going to warp any minds today so i won't delve into that further right now, plus i want to warp his mind a bit so i will probably be putting what is currently on my mind in a letter to him. but no kittens have been sacrificed lately so yeah for the sleep inducing storms.

speaking of writing letters i actually do still enjoy writing and receiving letters. it's one of the limited activities i still engage in that i actually have to pick up a pen or pencil to engage in. i like dragging out stationery and at least attempting to write a coherent letter. his first was a bit rambling lol and i'm sure the next one will be as well. i'm out of letter writing shape i tell you. i only have one friend that i consistently write letters to and we have been incosistent over the last four months. Roaming Soldier will get me back on that track as he brings out most of my best qualities including spilling random information about my life to someone else in the hopes that it will entertain them. i miss our idle rambling i swear.

ok pms is not fun and i am glad i have drugs. they don't always work but i am very glad i have them. it's time for my final before bed dose actually. hopefully this will squash all of my raging hormones otherwise my dreams are going to be x-rated.

see ya

The Liberated Lover
63% partner focus, 57% aggressiveness, 60% adventurousness
Based on the results of this test, it is highly likely that:

You prefer your romance and love to wild and daring rather than typical or boring, you would rather pursue than be pursued and, when it comes to physical love, your satisfaction comes more from providing a wonderful time to your partner than simply seeking your own.

This places you in the Lover Style of: The Liberated Lover.

The Liberated Lover is a wonderful Lover Style, and forms the kind of free-thinking, sexually-exciting, self-confident lover that society once condemned but that a liberal-mind cherishes and exults. The Liberated Lover is a treasure to find, though it can sometimes be difficult to do so because they are often already engaged in relationships or are in high-demand if "in the market."

In terms of physical love, the Liberated Lover is possibly the most thrilling and demanding of all, with the one potential drawback being that it is possible to feel 'overmatched' at times by their prowess and selfless giving. Given trust and understanding, and the right lover, the Liberated Lover can be a delight in bed.

Best Compatibility can probably be found with: The Exotic Lover (most of all) or the Carnal Lover, or the Suave Lover.



porque é em minha mente

Sunday, March 12, 2006 No comments
for those of you that don't speak portuguese that roughly translates to why is he on my mind. i guess i could have also asked why isn't he on my mind but it's just my mind rambling at this point. don't worry, for those of you that might be, i don't plan on tracking Emperor down and hoping to work things out. even if i wanted to i cannot and would not do that. i do want to talk to him but about what i have no earthly idea. while i want him to be happy i don't want to really know who he's happy with. happy alone i can tolerate, and not just because there is Roaming Soldier, but because it's just too fresh to process happy with someone else. that's rude of me i know, i'm happy wtih someone else even though our entire future is up in the air at this point. i miss my friend i guess. ahh well that is definitely not anything new to be sure. i always miss people after we part ways. and it takes me a bit longer to regain friend status each time if we ever get there as there is at least one person i absolutely hate till this day lol. but i don't hate him, just don't know why he's on my brain right now. i hope he's okay.

beyond that, today has been a good day lol. i slept in, ate what i wanted, made some cookies, watched silly tv, talked to Night Owl and then got a wonderful surprise when Roaming Soldier was able to log on for a bit tonight and speak with me. he checked in with his littlest girl first and then made me smile with the rest of his limited time on the net. i have to admit i let out a loud sigh when he logged on and smiled for a good while after he had logged off. again nothing intense just a sweet, flirty, suggestive conversation that i greatly enjoyed. i'm not sure how long i plan on staying up tonight. it's storming again and the rain is such a wonderful means of falling asleep. save the warmth that invades my room when there is no air, it's almost nicer when the power gets knocked off and i'm forced to enjoy the silence and the candles. i mentioned that to him tonight and both of our minds ran off to indefinitely burning candles, lots of wax and the two of us exploring one another. he's praying for storms when basic is over lol. i'm just praying that i don't do something bizarre and that he continues to be as sweet and intriguing as he is now.

after my brain's foray into the joys of blackout sex lol, i finished updating my cd list which wouldn't be major news but i have eight cases of cds. you know those case logic cushioned things to hold cds. well i started collecting them when i was back in undergrad circa 1993. i had a few dozen cds when i got to college but the joys of marketing plus bmg and columbia house meant i had closer to fifty when freshman year was over. stacking up those plastic cases got old fast so i was thrilled to see the streamlined black cushioned cases. i was shocked when i outgrew tghe first one but very quickly started accumulating cds at an alarming rate. i have slowed down a lot over the last few years. my tastes have shifted a lot andi only buy cds of folks that i really like or can fathom listening to a few years from now. i doubt i'll be filling up case seven anytime soon and case eight is wholly dependent on prince's output over the next few years. i did remember some cds that aren't in there but it won't take nearly as long to add them as the missing ones from the file that was recovered from 1998 and had to be brought up to today. okay i'm tired now. i'm going to have a few private fantasies about RS and maybe share one with him via snail mail.

love ya


sugasm 25

Saturday, March 11, 2006 No comments

The best of the sex blogs by the bloggers who blog them, this time categorized. Posts are cut at D within each category because I learned the alphabet in Catholic school to keep things fair.

Posts with NSFW pics are in italics. Keep in mind NSFW pic labeling is just for photos/layout images on the specific page linked. Pretty much everything here is NSFW, but you like it like that.

(Administrivia: The categories probably won’t be in the same order every edition. Quick question: for this edition I was pretty conservative about pics in templates; next time, do y’all want bra and panties type stuff tagged as NSFW or not?)


The Partistes (…)

Shibaricon: World’s Premiere Annual Pansexual Exhibition 2006 (…)

Stat-Aholic (…)

SugarClick Launched (…)


The Dreaded Scottish Cockblock (…)

The Four of Us (…)

Killing an Afternoon (…)

Losing M (…)

Resistance is Futile (…)

Underground (…)


Eagle (…)

Exhaling (…)

Hot Sugar and Wet Silk (…)

On the Dock (Fiction) (…)

Saturday with Adele (…)

Stormy Night (…)

Tandem Massages (…)

25 Words or Less (contains NSFW pics if you scroll down) (…)

Babysitter (…)

Body Language (…)

More Sugasm…

Join the Sugasm

Can I Play with it Now? (…)


Jane likes to teeter totter. (…)

Santorum (…)

This is what Happens… (…)

We All Have AIDS (…)

The Cock Interviews: Part Two (…)

Fetish & BDSM

A Long Hot Soak and Burning Candles (…)

Interesting Interactions (…)

New Elena Spanking Pics (…)

On a Power Trip (…)

The Perfect Fetish Photo (…)

“The sweetest thing I ever saw, was you asleep and dreaming.” (…)

Choices - Part Three (…)


House of Babalon (…)

Looking Down (…)

O azul… // The blue one… (…)

Anal Advocate (…)

Aurora Snow, Gauge and a Dildo. Pure Magic. (…)

Sex Advice / Sex Toys / Sexy Reviews

Oh Boys… May I Experiment on You? (…)

One Hefty Dose of Butch, Black, Silicone Bliss (…)

Pretty Dumb Things (…)

Sex Toys Must Have (…)

Tips for Going Bare (…)

The Blind Jockey (…)

Sex Commentary / Sexual Politics

Lara Drops to a C Cup (…)

Porn You Wish They’d Make (…)

Sex in the News - Blog-a-Thon by Blank Noise Project (…)

2257 and Sweet Pink Activist Cunt (…)