it's a meme outbreak

Monday, July 31, 2006 No comments
You're Totally Sarcastic

You sarcastic? Never! You're as sweet as a baby bunny.
Seriously, though, you have a sharp tongue - and you aren't afraid to use it.
And if people are too wimpy to deal with your attitutde, then too bad. So sad.

well duh we are talking about me

Exotic Dancer Name Is...


makes oodles of sense

You Should Be a Song Writer

You have the ability to evoke emotion, tell a story, and hook someone...
In a very small amount of words, perhaps with some deft rhyming.
Even if you can't write music, you can sure write compelling lyrics.
Lyrics so good, people will have them stuck in their heads!

there really wasn't a smut writer category

You Are Most Like Bill Clinton

No doubt, your legacy may be a little seedier than you'd like.
But even though you've done some questionable things, you're still loved by almost all.

good lawd had it been a bush i would have had to hurt someone

Mariah Carey Shares Your Taste in Music

See her whole playlist here (iTunes required)

mimi is doing much better now that she actually sleeps and has quit making crappy movies

You Are 4: The Individualist

You are sensitive and intuitive, with others and yourself.

You are creative and dreamy... plus dramatic and unpredictable.

You're emotionally honest, real, and easily hurt.

Totally expressive, others always know exactly how you feel.

half of my favorite number so ok

Your Ideal Pet is a Little Dog

You're both high strung, hyper, and cute.
You're one of the few people who can get away with carrying your little dog in a little bag.

guess it depends on the dog but i do like a few small breeds

You Are 28% Cynical

Generally you give people the benefit of the doubt. But there are exceptions.
You buy into many of the things that mainstream society believes, but you're not anybody's fool.

slightly disappointed by this one

Your Love Life Secrets Are

Looking back on your life, you will have a few true loves.

You're a little scarred from your past relationships, but who isn't?

You prefer a quirky, unique person to be your lover. You're easy going about who you're with, as long as they love you back.

In fights, you love to debate and defend yourself. You logic prevails - or at least you'd like to think so.

Break-ups can be painful for you, but you never show it. You hold your head high.

totally agree, but i think i'm done on the looking for folks part

You Are Elektra

There's really no superhero with more style than you.
Because who could beat being sexy assasin ninja?

umm ok

Your 2006 Summer Anthem Is

Crazy by Gnarls Barkley

"I remember when, I remember, I remember when I lost my mind
There was something so pleasant about that phase
Even your emotions had an echo
In so much space"

good deal

Your Wrestler Name Is...

The Masked Pandora

obie kaybe

What Your Soul Really Looks Like

You are a warm hearted and open minded person. It's easy for you to forgive and forget.

You are a grounded person, but you also leave room for imagination and dreams. You feet may be on the ground, but you're head is in the clouds.

You see yourself with pretty objective eyes. How you view yourself is almost exactly how other people view you.

Your near future is still unknown, and a little scary. You'll get through wild times - and you'll textually enjoy it.

For you, love is all about caring and comfort. You couldn't fall in love with someone you didn't trust.

i like it

Red Velvet's Aliases

Your movie star name: Brownies John

Your fashion designer name is Red Paris

Your socialite name is Tig O Bitties New Orleans

Your fly girl / guy name is R Vel

Your detective name is Tiger Richardson

Your barfly name is Blondie Amaretto Sour

Your soap opera name is Diane Spring Valley

Your rock star name is Chocolate Car

Your Star Wars name is Rosben Davrod

Your punk rock band name is The Sleepy Dildo

on that note it's time for bed


lookie lookie what i found

Saturday, July 29, 2006 No comments
i was thinking about the magical list i created many moons ago that i thought encompassed my ideal Dom/Daddy/Master. i figured i'd resurrect it now to see if anything major had changed. well it had, two things that were specifically related to the previous relationship were eliminated. Roaming Soldier and i haven't discussed a poly household but considering we're talking about enough drama with just blending our current roommates lol (my mother and His daughter) i seriously doubt we'd invite anymore chaos into our lives. besides that bit me in the ass once already. i doubt i'd readily go walking into that situation again. the last two are just terminology changes, i happen to love "Daddy" more than "Master" but really it's to RS what i'll call Him. right now Daddy is working just fine.
  • i would like someone who is open and willing to train me to their SPECIFIC needs: eliminates confusion for me and makes me happy to please them (nothing at all to change here, despite the distance between us RS doesn't keep me guessing with what He expects from me, when He's home i'm sure there will be some additional lessons to be learned but we've developed a nice exchange thus far)
  • i would like someone who is quite aware of my newness but still ready to make me the best sub i can be (i will be His little girl in all ways, yes some allowances are made but generally speaking His say is final)
  • i would like someone that sees the longterm potential in this lifestyle and wants to engage in it (can we say happy happy joy joy, we're making plans baby yeah!!)
  • i would like someone who despite my newness has such a sadistic streak that being aware of my limits only excites in Him a need to shove me beyond them moaning and screaming (hasn't really changed i just LIKE that statement lol)
  • i would like to spend days or weeks or forever being spanked, choked, tied up and humbled by my Daddy
  • i would like to be in constant service to my Daddy

now wasn't that basic and simple? here's what for the moment i know i don't want.

  • someone that is just toying around in the lifestyle
  • someone who will not consistently discipline me i can be a ROYAL brat, RS understands that and is looking forward to keeping me in line or properly punished.
  • someone who will not appreciate the gift of submission
  • someone not confident in their leadership
  • someone who is not interested in a longterm arrangement
  • someone who does not share with me what i can do in order to better serve Him


The Honeymoon Part II

He was lounging in the oversized chair when she woke up. He heard her stir thanks to the nifty bells He had affixed to her right ankle while she was unconscious. she spun around in the bed and tried to locate the noise before she recognized that there was an extra weight on her ankle. she giggled loudly and called out for Him. He told her to come join Him in the makeshift living rom that was next to the kitchen. she shuffled and chimed her way over to where He was sitting and knelt next to His chair. "honey why don't you just climb in My lap?"

"i love Your lap but i like sitting at Your feet. You always yank me up from here and closer to You, i love that too. but if You want me in Your lap of course i will oblige."

He had been smiling at her and stroking her face. she had pulled on one of His t shirts and the imprint of her breasts was completely distracting Him. "Are you hungry baby? If so I need you to eat before we start the second part of the game."

"i am a little hungry Daddy. what would You like me to make?"

"I called the main house and had something sent over. A sandwich just the way you like and a salad with extra dressing. Go eat and come back to Me when you are done but do not rush. Daddy has all day to entertain you." He smirked as her ass swayed under His shirt. It was really like a long dress on her and she really did look like a child in her father's clothes. He went back to His book and waited for her to return. she enjoyed her sandwich. the bread was thick and sweet as was the ham. the lettuce was crisp and the spicy mustard was clearing her sinuses. she had no idea what kind of dressing was on her chef salad but she moaned with a full mouth more than once in response to its flavor. He just smiled to Himself knowing that He had chosen well with her meal and she would be very appreciative and pliable as soon as she was full. He heard the fridge open and close again. "Are you okay sweetie?" the sounds of her bells were getting louder and she pounced down on the floor next to Him.

"yep Daddy, i'm fine." she leaned over and kissed His cheek and then resumed her position.

"Daddy is glad to hear that. Now are you ready to start playing again?"

"yes Sir."

He took her into the bathroom and turned on the water. When it was nice and steamy, He pulled back the curtain and stepped under the water. she joined Him quickly and repeated the ritual they had developed over their time together. bodies were cleaned and massaged. He squeezed her bottom until it stung a bit but was feeling more relaxed. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around His waist. He grabbed her wrist before she could grab one of her own. "Nope honey, you get to stay wet for this next part of the game."

her eyes flashed for a second but she let Him guide her out of the bathroom and out to the small whirlpool that was shared by their bungalow and one other. He checked to see if anyone was out there and when He saw it was clear He walked them both over to it. He explained what she was to do quickly. Get in and make her way over to the far side of the whirpool. When she got there, she'd feel a rather thick dildo mounted to the seat. she needed to insert it and wait. it seemed easy enough to do and she figured He was trying to give her an easy win. He walked away for a moment and then she heard other voices. The couple, Jon and Mecole who were also on their honeymoon, from next door were joining them in the hot tub and she had to carry on a converation basically naked and masturbating simultaneously. she wasn't allowed to move more than a few inches one way or the other. she was not allowed to leave whatsoever. He sat next to her and then dumped His towel on the deck. The couple with them was quickly naked in the hot water with them which really wouldn't have been an issue but they proceeded to pounce on one another. His hand started rubbing her clit under the water which made her hips gyrate and the water covering her breasts shifted a bit. her eyes drifted close and He pinched her clit. "Don't be rude to our guests honey. Tell them why we're here." He continued to manipulate her under the water and slid her hand around His dick that was bobbing idly in the warm bubbly water.

she tried to keep up her end of the conversation but the mix of sensations were overriding her senses. They started fucking in front of her which made the water splash around her even more. He pulsed between her fingers and leaned over to whisper in her ear. "you are doing very good baby. if you can make it another ten minutes without screaming out, then you will win this game. if you don't then Daddy gets to use you however He sees fit for the rest of the day." He increased the pressure on her clit. her pussy was clenching around the dildo and she wanted nothing more than to moan out and have her own orgasm before the stageshow ended but she was determined to win. she just didn't know He was more determined than she could have pondered at that moment. Jon and Mecole were nearing orgasm now. He was probing more deeply in her pussy and she was teetering on the edge of exploding. Mecole started emitting a low guttural groan and twitched a bit before disappearing below the water. that was all she could take. the throbbing on His dick in her hand combined with His underwater violation and Mecole's head bobbing sent her over into orgasm. as suddenly as they had joined them and started performing for the newlyweds, Mecole and Jon left the hot tub and headed back into their bungalow. "So close honey, so close. Daddy is sorry about that. I really like it when you lose these games. you held out much longer than i thought though. Another few minutes and I would have to come up with a plan b for the rest of the evening. Daddy is glad you came right now too. you won't be able to again for a while. Now get out of the water and make sure to take the dildo with you." He watched her leave the water, slightly saddened but sure that the rest of the evening would be as enjoyable as the morning. she was wrong again.

He watched her for a few quick seconds then followed her inside. He led her back into the bedroom and grabbed the cord of rope He had purchased that morning. He placed her hands together and tied them at the wrists. He stood her up against the bedroom door and then flung the loose cord hanging from her wrist tie over the door frame. He tied it to the doorknob and told her to be a good girl and not destroy the door with her flailing. she was still slick from the water which meant the strikes from the whip were going to sting particularly more than they did normally. He was glad she was such a little masochist then and that she had enough sense to use her safeword when she needed to. He slipped her gag into place, "Daddy knows I probably don't have to do that right now but just in case I get a little rambunctious I don't want to scare our ever so polite neighbors." she was left alone for a few minutes after He was sure that she could breathe and was as comfortable as she could be under the circumstances. He took the nipple clamps and clipped them to her pussy. He placed the remote on the nightstand and pushed the bed back a bit so that He could fully uncoil the six foot bull whip she had given Him as a gag wedding gift. He aimed at a spot on the wall for about ten minutes trying to get a feel for the whip and the different ways He could strike with it. she heard the snaps fly past her and while she was terrified her pussy was sopping. "Is My big girl ready?" she nodded and felt the whip bite into her skin for the first time. He was a quick study as with most things and did a fairly good job of striking the areas He intended to. A few of the blows missed wildly but those only made her anxious about the next one coming. He stopped longer than He had before so she wondered if they were done. then she felt the clamps turn on and her pussy started humming. He stood there for a few more minutes just watching her try not to squirm. He turned up the intensity and then resumed the whipping. As usual the combined sensations were making Him hard and her a pile of goo. When He was tired of standing so far away from her, He dropped the whip and grabbed one of the heavy floggers. The blows would be less forgiving because they would be more precise. He focused on her upper back first. Her bottom wasn't bruised but it would be more sensitive than her back. she jumped periodically but was generally her stoic self just moaning around the gag. He targeted her lower back as it curved into her ass and then where her thighs curved up to her ass. The flogging was even and steady and she began humming in response to her body feeling very loose. her head fell backwards and she heard Him asking if she was all right. she thought she was nodding but before she could say anything else He had untied her and had her laying on the bed.

when she caught her breath and was mostly alert again, He told her again that she was a good girl and He was so happy that she was His. He took off her gag and let her breathe freely. her hand cupped His face and she kissed Him gently. He unclipped the clamps from her pussy and laughed at the tiny things vibrating in her hands. they quickly found her nipples and she winced from the shock of their intrusion. before she could say anything else, He was buried deep inside her. "you make Daddy want to fuck you constantly. I love it watching your skin absorb the pain I like to visit upon you. Daddy couldn't ask for a better girl," He said between moans. she started panting and crying both from the pleasure of Him inside her and the pain of her nipples. they felt like they were on fire and she wanted to pull them off. He read her expression and took them off a few minutes later but just started twisted and tweaking her nipples with His fingers. His mouth would smother each nub after it was pinched and pulled into a state of agony. her legs tried to stay taut for Him but she was loosing control of everything right then. the rush of her orgasm swept over her and He felt her clamp down on His dick again before cumming so much He thought she had started squirting. He wanted to join her then but couldn't. He was entirely too far gone to cum with her at that moment. He leaned back and put her legs over His left shoulder, twisting her into a new position. she moaned His name in response and was treated to another half hour of intense thrusting and probing on His part. Her nipples were eventually just suckled and palmed as He feasted on her flesh. when Oh Daddy started coming from her mouth in a stacato fashion, He finally let loose a torrent of nut inside her. They both breathed heavily for a while He let her legs drop around His waist again and leaned over to kiss her. she kissed Him back and then moved with Him as He navigated them into a sleep position. He had played with her longer than He thought as the sun was starting to set. They watched it until it was completely down, chatting about the beach, the day, their wedding and the life they were building together. she rolled over to face Him and nestled into His chest. she feel asleep as content as she had been earlier and He was trying to think of how many different ways she was going to submit to Him before they left.


love and marriage and red with the baby carriage

okay obviously mind has tilted into the more adult hemisphere as of late. by no means has the kink disappeared (will be posting part II of the honeymoon right after this) but my vacation helped give me a new focus. it only takes a one well timed event to make you appreciate the things and people you have in your life and i of course had mine then. He is absolutely everything that i could have hoped for. He is a continued source of wonderment, amusement, peace, mental and physical stimulation. He just feels good. He feels good to the point that it has made me "girl up" even more than i had over the time i was with Emperor and in a different way. i was getting the trappings of my feminity down before now. i can embrace my true nature with Roaming Soldier.

the safety i need, the security i want, the desire to be appreciated for my strength and simultaneously adored for being pliable is all a girl could ask for. the fact that it arrived in one nice package is honestly just wonderful. for the last few months i've been thinking about my life in terms of Him and the mish mash family we will assuredly form when He gets home. i just pray that He isn't horribly traumatized and scarred by the crazy clone of me that lives here with me now. then again His brother did agree to make her disappear if i needed that lol. okay well i really didn't agree to it and it was a total and complete joke so don't be sending police to my house to check on her.

i haven't had anymore baby dreams this week but i did negotiate a budget for the pricey and mammoth bras i'll need if i have any children with Him let alone five lol. He's tired and ready to come home but He's happy, partly due to me being around and who can ask for more than that as well. so yeah i may be announcing wedding plans and baby due dates here eventually but i have to say i'm very happy about that and about Him and i'll have to try not to make fun of Night Owl at her wedding because she was nice enough to bring RS into my life.

okay enough for now


The Honeymoon Part I

Friday, July 28, 2006 No comments
she awoke to the sounds of the ocean outside their window. they had flown in last night and were so exhausted from the wedding and travelling that all they did was snuggle and go to sleep. she was expecting to hear His breathing in her ear when she stirred but He wasn't in bed or in her line of sight. she got up and moved slowly about the small private bungalow they had rented. He wasn't in the shower or in the kitchen. she figured He must have gone out for a swim and knowing she was not getting her hair full of salt water, He left her sleeping until He came back. sleeping was one of her favorite pasttimes afterall. she fixed a light breakfast that she could keep warm until He came back. she waited a bit and when He wasn't there in ten minutes she decided to take a shower. her eyes kept glancing at her hand and wondering had she actually gotten married less than twenty-four hours ago. His voice booming from the kitchen reminded her she had.

"O Where, O Where Is Daddy's big little girl, O Where O Where Could she beeeeeeeeeee?"

she laughed to herself and hurried to turn off the water before He found her and got in with her. If He got in there would be a wet prune of a human that resembled her happily stumbling out of the shower being chased by a soapy pruney version of Him. she was wrapping the towel around herself when He grabbed her from behind.

"How is My wife doing this morning?"

"she is doing quite well. Did You enjoy Your swim?"

"Swim? Oh I wasn't swimming. I was setting up a surprise for you later on. That is if you want to play with your husband tonight," He said knowing full well that the only reason she hadn't attacked Him was because the bathroom was on the smallish side. He kissed her deeply and led her back out to their kitchen. They sat and ate quickly. He hinted about what the surprise may be before He told her she was going to be playing a game with Him for the next seven days. she could stop whenever she wanted and He wouldn't get upset but if she made it through to the end of the week then she'd be thrilled with her reward.

"so when do we start?"

"Now of course. your first challenge is this. you have to find all of the toys i hid around the bungalow while you were snoring in the next," He glanced at His watch, "fifteen minutes. for everyone you fail to locate Daddy will have to spank you five times. Do you understand." she nodded that she did and waited for Him to say start. she had seen the bondage tape in the drawer when she was looking for a knife so she located that quickly. and she found two of her gags in bowls under the sink. she was feeling good as she ran from the bathroom to the living room and found four more toys. she finally went into the bedroom with about eight minutes to spare and she hit a dry spell. When He said time she had only found two more toys. "Umm only nine toys darling. you know that means that at least six are missing. I really don't remember how many I hid this morning. The cleaning lady will get a nice treat when we leave I'm sure. So by My calculation that means 30 swats to that lovely behind of yours must be administered unless you can convince me to only make it 15."

she thought about it for a moment. she dropped to her knees in front of Him, reached into His shorts and fished out her bottle before wrapping her lips around Him quickly. He sighed and let His hands play in her hair. she sighed as well and focused on getting her nourishment as He liked to call it. her tongue flicked around His dick effortlessly as always. her wedding ring was slightly interfering with her grip but she quickly forgot about it. either the flight had worn Him out or the two weeks of forced celibacy before the wedding had had the desired effect. He flooded her mouth quickly and she cleaned Him off completely before looking up at Him with her best puppy dog eyes.

"Umm that was very nice honey. But now I have to make it 45. Daddy wanted to cum inside your pussy first this morning. Lay on the bed on your belly and be very still." He pulled a paddle from between the mattresses that had been shoved just out of her reach. "I know it was wrong of Me to put it where I knew my little girl's arms couldn't reach but you had to know I was going to spank you." she had a smirk on her face. He had to know that she wouldn't find all the toys on purpose. she had been missing her spankings and Him as much as He had been missing the various ways she thoroughly entertained Him. "And of course I know you didn't find all of them on purpose. But it's okay. We'll call this game a draw as soon as your ass is on fire and I am buried inside you again."

The swats came in a painfully slow progression, pausing long enough between strikes that her ass was freshly on fire and throbbing before the next impact was made. she loved the feeling, it made her more calm than she had been just waking up and looking out at the white sandy beach they were staying on. she never counted the strikes unless He made her and was lost in her own world of pleasure and pain when He counted out thirty. "What does baby want now?"

"whatever You want Daddy."

"Daddy wants to fuck you now but you still have 15 more licks to take. Do you want them fast or slow?"

"i want Daddy inside me," she moaned while she bit into her lip slightly.

"Good girl," He replied as the next fifteen smacks from the paddle came down quickly. He pondered reaching for a condom but those were tucked away in the suitcase and she was dripping in front of Him now. Instead, He climbed into the bed next to her and pulled her up until she was kneeling. "Do you know what I want now?"

she nodded again and climbed on top of His long legs before impaling herself on His dick. she almost regretted helping Him cum such a short while ago as He could be stiff like He was now indefinitely but a quick swat to her warm bottom jolted her back into a happy train of thought. she bounced up and down on His dick a little manically at first. When she leaned backwards to brace herself, He reached between her thighs and pressed on her clit with His thum. the bucking became a bit more rhythmic and she was cumming like a dam had burst. He enjoyed her slickness but saw she was going to pass out soon and wanted to be on top of her when she did. He liked kissing her to sleep that way. He rolled them over onto the bed and she naturally wrapped one leg around His waist as He dug into her pussy. it clenched around Him and hung on for dear life whenever He moved in or out of her. she started moaning and her eyes got glassy. He leaned down and bit into her neck like He wanted to draw blood, just stopping short of breaking the skin. she steeled her body as He slammed into her repeatedly and then as He came her eyes started fluttering a bit. when He was done, He started kissing the spot He had bitten and returned kisses to her lips and eyes. she only said one more thing as she drifted off to sleep, "when does the next game start?"

"As soon as you wake up honey. Just as soon as you wake up." He got up and covered her with a blanket while He set about preparing for the next game.


back on the grind, sort of

Thursday, July 27, 2006 No comments
so i'm back at work now and it's been a hectic few days. not heavy on clients but heavy on meetings and trying to get things arranged for an upcoming slate of interviews. do i love what i'm doing right now? well not particularly but it's hard to enjoy work when you have been on anything resembling a vacation. i'm saving most of my time off for when Roaming Soldier is home so we can spend at least two weeks together to do whatever we need to without me rushing to the office. it's been good for allowing me to talk to Him mostly when i need to. clients have either not showed up when He was free or i've managed to grab lunch in my office instead of rushing in for 20 minutes of conversation in my office. and while i was worried about taking off for the weekend that we wouldn't be able to talk, we actually talked more over that time than we had been able to in a quite a while. it was good, kept me calm, made me feel more connected to Him and ready for this time apart to come to an end so the rest of our lives can begin. i need to sleep with my actual bottle tucked firmly in place so we both can drift off peacefully.

i'm happy as you can tell. a little tired but i'm taking better care of myself and there is always Him around. He, as you all know, is wonderful and has been more than worth than the struggles i've had romantically to get to this point. now i have erykah badu stuck in my head (i want somebody to walk up behind me and kiss me on my neck) and i like it. okay enough babbling.

love ya all

ps why the sam hell did i dream about being knocked up AGAIN and gas went up to 11 bucks a gallon AFTER i filled up. and my dad, who died in 2001, was driving me around telling me to be safe and get home okay.


the hell was going on with me???

Monday, July 24, 2006 2 comments
i rarely dream about children. i have more since Roaming Soldier has come into my life and i'm sure that's not a coincidence but really it's more of an idle daydream. He's being particularly nice because He knocked me up with triplets or Littlest Soldier is reading to her little brothers while i enjoy a big bowl of ice cream resting on my belly. all is right in the world yep, very sappy but good daydreams. last night though i dreamt that by the strangest twist of fate we had a set of triplets and twins born on the same day. yes i know the photo is of six babies but the sex is right in the photo so i went with this one instead of the quints i found.

for some reason it was taking us a while to conceive and we were beginning to think i couldn't so we went the surrogate route. she promptly got pregnant with our triplets--three little boys. about a month later, i guess without the pressure of having to get knocked up i just did and wouldn't you know there are twin girls hatching in me. needless to say all i kept thinking in the dream was this man has POTENT sperm lol. our due dates were about five weeks apart but the doctors said if everything looked okay close to the triplets delivery they could just induce me and keep the twins if they needed to but the girls took after their mother and were strong and healthy as soon as they popped out about ten minutes after their older brothers. now i have to say that i would feel horrible for them because the boys would always be able to say they were older and thus do older brother things like ruin all relationships and scaring away anyone that thinks their sisters were cute. but at the end of the day we had five babies to take home and Littlest Soldier was overjoyed. of course by the time they actually released us and we had outfitted something resembling a small tank to take home our now six children i was close to having a panic attack. who in the world thinks i should have kids let alone five of them??? Roaming Soldier calmed me down and Littlest Soldier was an absolute dream but damn i had FIVE babies lol. ahh well, i was dreaming of Him so it can never be a bad thing. He smiled when i told Him about it so that's always good. yeah i love that Man. okay enough of the sappy sappy. back to Hell's Kitchen.


sugar and spice and everything nice

Sunday, July 23, 2006 No comments

This week's best of the sex blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Want in Sugasm #40? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the linklist within a week and you're all set.


HHNT!!!!!!!! (
I Feel Myself, I Really Do : ) (
Porn Week Vacation (

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships

The Anticipation (
Being Submissive (
Late night deviant (
Mmm Tentacle-y (
My Orgasm and Sexual Desire Secrets (
RANT: On the Rag with The Goddesses (
Self image is a wonderful thing, most of the time (
Tag - Past Love - Story 2 - Self-discovery and Healing (
Those damn slutty bisexuals (

Sex News

Bush for "Products and Services," Not Birth Control (
Gay Gamers are Coming Out of the Closet (
Next Door Nikki on Jerry Springer (
There's Got To Be A Joke Here Somewhere (

BDSM and Fetish

Guessing Games (
How about a cookie (
Isabella's Eyes - Part IV (
Spanking at t'mill (

More Sugasm Join the Sugasm

A VERY long drive home (
Yes Master (


Static Electricity-and no, it wasn't caused by the phone (
Unbeknownst To The Roommate (
You want some popcorn with that? (

Sex Work

Haze Goes to Prison (
Long nails dig into the submissive mind (
Tease and Denial with My sissy bitch (

Erotic Writing and Experiences

7/16 by Rex: Soap Suds (
The Bed, the Bath, and Beyond (
A Bit of Pink Alone Time (
Blush (
Can you hear that...? (
Cold Hands, Hot strokes (
Good Thing It Wasn't Windy Today.... (
His Kind of Woman (
Hot Mami is OPP (part one) (
I left my heart in San Francisco (
Just the, um, three of us? part one....... (
Nocturnal Confessions #1 (
Trees again (
Wet (


on new beginnings

life is wonderfully interesting. as always, when i feel the absolute worst, Roaming Soldier shows up and makes everything all better. it's not something i can peg or explain. i can't ever thank Him enough for that either. the time difference can make things very difficult from time to time but beyond that He tends to show up when i need Him much more than i am there for Him in return. i am awfully attentive when i am around but life keeps me jumping more than i would like. i drove back to town earlier than even i planned and checked into the hotel i had originally planned to spend the whole weekend in. i'll call my mother soon and let her know i'm in town if she needs something but that i'll be home in the morning and we'll go running around like she wants. i need some more time completely alone. in the last seventy two hours i've been on the road nearly eleven hours so i'm sure my nerves are a little frayed on top of the other stuff that made me upset. it would be unfair to take all that out on mom and hell i paid for the room already might as well enjoy it. i'll go house hunting tomorrow and if we find anything reasonable i'll look into buying it. then i can get a small furry creature of my own to keep me company until Roaming Soldier comes home. and something to keep mommy busy while i don't want to be the friendly one. the next 24 hours is about me being silly and relaxing. i think i'm heading over to waffle house in a few because well i want some waffle house. a little more dead wood has been cleared from my life as well so i can focus whole heartedly on the people in my life that love and care about me as well as enjoy the energy that provides me. i love Roaming Soldier, He loves me, the Littlest Soldier is getting to know me and us as a couple to some small degree. life is proceeding as it should and i really couldn't be happier.


on ending things

okay so i wasn't going to post again till the vacation was over. i have to write this now before i do my normal deconstruction and make everything all right. i doubt i'll post this before i get back on the road later today but it needed to come out now. i have an assortment of friends in my life. i am often accused of keeping people in my life well past them serving any useful purpose. the vacation started off well enough but as i sped across town to spend the last night with a girlfriend it dawned on me that this time my friends were right. the main person i went to see should have clearly been extricated from my life well before now. they made it crystal clear how self-absorbed they are and will continue to be which is unfortunate because i believe that they could make a wonderful human one day if they ever decide to grow up. i won't be there to see it. as i made my exit, i made one final request of them, never to contact me again. now i'm sure somewhere in the back of their minds that seemed overly dramatic and i am sure to be fodder for their roast for many moons to come and that's my fault for not seeing what they were worth before now. i am incredibly upset but not with them really. i'm mad at myself for not enjoying the weekend i had planned for myself because i wanted to make them happy and spend a good few days out of the area. so i'm going to wake up reasonably early and head back to the rest of the weekend i had for myself. i'll probably cry for my own stupidity shortly and then call it a night after i write Roaming Soldier a long loving letter. it often takes God and fate to slap us squarely in the face sometimes and from that we learn and we grow. i apologize to the people i meet after this. i probably won't be as trusting or giving with my friendship as i once was. i probably won't invest in people the same way i used to and i'll say it's because i learned a lesson but really it's because i'm hurting that my kindness was taken for granted. it is what it is unfortunately and i won't forget what this weekend has taught me for a long while to come.

bye bye

edited to add:

Roadtrip to End All Roadtrips:

gas 60 bucks
drinks 5 bucks
food and liquor 40 bucks
hideaway hotel back home 98 bucks
total drive time 10 hours 30 minutes
seven perfectly crafted mood cds 40 bucks
finding out who has your best interest @ heart absolutely priceless

i'm feeling better than when i wrote this initially. i was able to talk to Roaming Soldier before i dosed off, got a good cry in and hung out with a small furry creature that was trying to make me feel better (he ended up sleeping with me that night, very sweet). we all have pivotal moments in life and this was another of mine. i have to stop seeing in people what they don't want to see in themselves. i can't help everyone and i can't share with them the happiness i enjoy in my day to day life if they don't want to experience it with me. you're going to think i'm a posting whirling derbish soon but i need to wrap this one up so i could start on the next one.


on vacation

Saturday, July 22, 2006 1 comment
okay well i had this long post ready and it just crashed. i will make this one shorter. i'm enjoying a few days off from mommy and work. i'll return to the real world on tuesday morning when i have to go back to work. i'm loving the time off. i'm loving life. things are good. i'll have a new story for you soon enough.

see ya


here quizzie quizzie

Tuesday, July 18, 2006 4 comments
You scored as Judge. You are a Judge Empath, one who is a "truthsayer". You can tell truth from lies, good from evil. You do not tolerate wrong doing. You are a defender of the good and the innocent. You are kind and merciful but do not play foolish games. (from "The Book of Storms" by Jad Alexander at





Fallen Angel












What Kind of Empath Are You?
created with


call me slow and color me tres etonnant

Sunday, July 16, 2006 No comments
okay i have added a few new folks to the blogroll over the last twenty-four hours. both of whom i've been reading for a while so i have no earthly idea why they weren't on there before. first for his very very intriguing cell phone slave stories that led to a protracted kitten killing session late last night, the erotiterrorist shon richards is now linked up and ready for your perusal. and the second link is from one of the few adult bloggers who recants her deeds, very skillfully i might add, while also being brave enough to have her photos out with the tales rachel kramer bussel has also been added to the blogroll. and i have to thank her for the influx of traffic to the rope since this article briefly mentioned the goings on here. welcome to everyone that followed the link in from there and feel free to click all around. the Dom's favorite piece of smut is C is for Cookie (look under collected smut) but all of them are usually well received.

umm back to the erotitterrorist for a moment. i have to give him incredible kudos for making my normal instant gratification orgasm falter repeatedly because i wanted to see what was going on next with Amaya and Wesley. i'm sure Roaming Soldier will be quite impressed by that lol because i'm hard pressed not to get off when i talk to Him when i'm in my office. depending on when the next client is i might just indulge and make sure i give myself time to not appear flushed and a bit disheveled. i try not to do that too often though otherwise i'll just quit going to pick them up when they check in to the center. okay well enough of this before another poor litter of kitties departs the earth. have a good night boys and girls.



how about a cookie

Saturday, July 15, 2006 4 comments
yep boys and girls it's another cookie peddling post. for those of you that can't read them you know what that means. skip it and move on to the other stuff lol. for everyone else, enjoy it and please let me know what you think.

her hair was bouncing around her neck. He was staring at her back and running His hand down to her tattoo. He loved touching her back when she was riding Him. in a second He would push her forward and she would scramble to catch her balance with her arms before she hit the floor. she knew He would do it, He always did, she just never knew when. He grabbed a fist full of her hair and yanked her back to Him. He bit into her neck as His fingers pinched her clit until He felt her pussy spasm around His dick. "Good girl," He said as He released her neck and clit from His grasp. she shuddered a bit then felt herself falling forward. her hands slammed into the hardwood floor and she winced a bit as she felt a splinter slide into her palm but she didn't verbally announce her frustration. He smacked her ass and that let her know what was coming next. He grabbed her hips and leaned forward on the sofa. He began slamming up inside her, slowly at first, until they were both sweating and grunting into the air. He was watching her breasts sway back and forth from the force of His thrusting. He pulled her back up and let her grind down on His dick for a while making both of them smile. He bit into her shoulder then told her to kneel on the sofa.

He cuffed her hands behind her back and toyed with her hair a bit. He pulled out the rarely used collar and lead and fastened it to her neck. her brain always sank into an area they both greatly enjoyed when the clasp went on. He had to carefully bring her out of it otherwise the kids would have an adult playmate for a few days. her head dropped a bit and she began smiling. He palmed her face and then helped her stand up. He led her upstairs and was careful to lock the door behind them. The kids shouldn't be home for hours but the last thing they needed to see was mommy getting spanked by Daddy.

He uncuffed her hands briefly before strapping her into the longer chain cuffs that hooked to an nearly undectable ring in the ceiling. He adjusted it so that she was barley standing on her toes and then left the room for a minute. the collar was still on her neck and her face showed nothing at all but that smile that had been there since He placed it around her neck. He had grabbed the first aid kit from the bathroom and put it next to the toys. He ran His hands over her bottom and smacked it lightly with His hands. He whipped her with His favorite crop. it was one she hated, literally, but all it managed to do today was make her cry out instead of begging Him to stop. The tawse was unleashed next and she started to cry but she showed no signs of weakening under the assault. He picked up a leather stinger and just picked different spots on her breasts, ass and thighs to attack. the skin reacted, got angry and red while she mouthed i love You to Him. He smiled and felt His dick stiffen. He hadn't nutted earlier and and was feeling a need to right now. He placed the stinger on the bed and walked behind her. He inserted Himself inside her quickly and found a nice even rhythm quickly. her breats were bouncing wildly and begging for Him to suck them but it wasn't time. He used her, came deeply inside her and kissed her shoulder before He went back for the stinger. her orgasmically stunted body was more responsive to the flick of the leather now. she flinched and moaned as the assault on her flesh continued. when His arms started to get tired He debated leaving her there while He took a nap but He wanted her mouth on His dick as He slept and she had been a good girl so she needed to released around Him before she drifted off with Him. He lowered her arms from the chains and guided her over to the bed by the lead. He placed her on her back and pulled her wobbly legs over her shoulder. He slipped inside her again. her pussy gripped Him tightly and massaged Him with each stroke. her body was hypersensitive to His prodding and everything was making her more pliable and shoving her closer to the edge of orgasm. He noticed her breasts again and had two options at this point. He could press her legs back until He could suck her nipples and bite her tits or He could just wrap her strong legs around His waist and feast on her chest freely.

she felt her legs drop and was momentarily confused before she felt His mouth attach to her nipples. she moaned and waited as His mouth roam all over her breasts until she had created a little puddle underneath them. He heard her breath get ragged and felt her chest heaving from her pleasure. it was enough to make Him start increasing the pace of His stroking. she was bucking her hips of the bed to meet His dick thrusting in and out of her throbbing pussy. "Daddy," crept across her lips. He knew she was about to beg to cum now but she couldn't say more than than "Daddy." "Be a good girl and cum for Daddy now," He said. she smiled at Him and did as He instructed. the puddle got bigger and wetter and He was beaming as He collapsed on top of her. "You are such a good girl. Daddy loves you." her breathing had slowed and calmed a bit so she was able to say she loved Him back. they needed to shower before the kids got home but neither really wanted to move. He was checking her headspace from time to time and was sure that she was doing okay. He unfastened the collar and kissed her neck. He nibbled it softly and she smiled. He stood up finally, slowly slipping out of her in the process, and announced He was going downstairs to get something to drink. "Can I bring My little girl anything back up? Some juice perhaps?" she nodded that juice would be good. "Anything else baby?"

"how about a cookie," she asked as she smiled at Him. He went down and got a few refreshments for both of them. He checked the clock and figured they had another hour before the kids would be back home at least. He took everything upstairs and let her have what she needed before He got what He wanted. He checked her bruises and cleaned ones that needed attention. He stroked her hair a bit and then told her it was time for her bottle and a nap. she grinned and shimmied between His thighs. her lips wrapped around His dick and suckled Him. they both sighed as He stroked her hair and she stroke His dick with her tongue. they were out in a few minutes and slept soundly until the sounds of their children coming home came crashing through the stillness.

He showered first and let her relax a few more minutes. He got dressed and went down to meet the kids. she showered slowly and then put on a pair of sweats before joining the family. she helped Him prepare dinner and they fed the kids. each rugrat was carried to bed in turn as they drifted off to sleep. when they were all alone and and He could toy with her flesh again she asked Him if there was anything she could get Him. He smiled down at her and said, "Sure, how about a cookie?" she giggled, got undressed and waited for her bottle. He quickly fed it to her and enjoyed the sensation as they went back to sleep.


interesting meme

Friday, July 14, 2006 1 comment
Copy this entire list into your blog/journal. BOLD everything about you that is true. Leave plain anything that is false about you. Put an asterisk (*) at the end of false statements you would LIKE to be true.

I am bi-sexual.
My spouse or lover is aware of my orientation.

My spouse or lover has watched me have sex with someone of my gender.*
I have had sex while wearing a blindfold.
I have blindfolded someone else during sex.
I have had sex while watching porn.
I sleep better after sex.
There are some nights I cannot sleep without sex or masturbating.

I masturbate more than once per day. (every now and then)
The bed is NOT my most favorite place to have sex.
I am turned on knowing someone is watching me masturbate.
I enjoy watching others having sex or being watched during sex.
I will have sex with someone I just met if they turn me on. (umm not anymore but i have)

I have had sex with two different individuals (at seperate times) during the course of one day. (not in a really long time)
I have been tied up during sex.
I have had sex with someone who was tied up.
I have dripped wax onto a lover's body.
I have had a lover drop wax on my body.

I have a foot/sock/shoe fetish.
I have a leather fetish.
I have a tickle fetish.
Watching someone urinate (or being watched while urinating) is a turn-on.
I have had sex in a vehicle.
I have had sex while driving a vehicle.
I have been to a sex club or bathhouse. *
I like being choked during sex.
My lovers would describe me as kinky.
I shave (or trim) the hair on or around my genitals.
The smell of my lover's sweat turns me on.

I have erotic art on display somewhere in my residence.
Dirty talk during sex turns me on.
I enjoy pornographic magazines.
I have a collection of porno movies.
Erotic toys are a regular part of my budget.
I have clicked on porn links in my email.

I regularly look at porn sites on the internet.
Much of what I know about sex comes from porn.
Interracial sex turns me on.
I would participate in sex research if given the opportunity.
My current lover does not sufficiently meet my sexual needs.
I have had sex at my place of employment. *
I am often disappointed in my sexual relationships.
Some people might describe me as a nymphomaniac.
I am difficult to live with if I'm not having sex on a regular basis.
I sleep better with someone snuggled up next to me. *
I have had sex under water. *
I have had sex outdoors.
I have had sex in a public place or where I might have been discovered.
I have had sex in a bathroom stall.

I have had sex in the snow.
I am or have been in a polyamorous relationship.
I have participated in three-ways or orgies.
I have to have music playing during sex.
I have flashed strangers.
I have given sex as a gift.
I have set up a three-way for my lover.
I stopped during this list to have sex.
All day I dream about sex.

my bolded options are in italics because they looked odd as bold


modern random mini rantings

okay so none of this is remotely connected or pressing but it's something i been thinking about for the last few drives in to work in the morning. bear with me as i share my trivialities with you.

ummm what happpened to the days when ONE radio station was likely to play at least 80 percent of the songs you liked and didn't sound JUST LIKE the other radio stations in town? i mean when i was young i could listen to one station all day and they would play a mix of r&b, a little rap, rock, oldies and everyone could listen to it and hear something they liked over a few hour span. now i have THREE stations i have to flip through during a twenty minute commute and without fail at least two of the stations are playing the same songs at some point in time. not songs by the same artist, nope the same damn song. i know music ain't what it used to be but this is horrible. i don't want JUST an r&b channel or JUST a rock station or oldies or classic rock. i want a good channel that can play a good mix of things all day long. damn is that so much to ask without having to buy sirius or xm to entertain myself? okay enough of that.

why can't people drive? i don't mean over long distances or in heavy traffic. people tend to act right during those situations. i mean during the normal traffic flow the people that tend to flit from lane to lane, fail to signal, slam on their brakes when cops show up EVEN WHEN we are just doing the speed limit or other such annoying things. today someone trying to edge in front of me from a parking lot onto the main road did so aggressively and almost to the point where they hit my car. did i let them in front of me? of course not that shit is hella annoying and i don't respond well when i'm forced to do things. well things that i don't want to be forced into doing lol. the last i saw at least ten other cars had whipped past him and he was stuck in the lot. now normally i am not that rude when driving. i let people in front because the last i checked my house wasn't on wheels so i can get home whenever but as i said that annoyed me and the folks behind me who also refused to let him in. i wouldn't have hit him had he forced the issue but had he hit my car i'd still be talking to the police for pummeling his young behind.

the hell is wrong with my job? okay not my job so much but the school i work for. they are in this massive push to build more housing and accomodate more students BUT at the same time they are screwing the faculty out of places to park in order to come into work. they are straining the resources we have available and are simultaneously making it more difficult to get in to serve the demand we have on our staff as it is. can we say don't make me put my foot up in your ass? that shit is annoying and as the little brats don't drive anywhere until we are DONE with work then they should be able to park outside of the primary campus area until we are done for the day. we shouldn't be basically parking at our homes or local businesses to do our jobs. that is crazy. speaking of crazy, i had the craziest session today. my client apparently spent the weekend experimenting with a little bdsm kinky sex as the dominant partner. i had to stop myself from saying more than a therapist should and we just explored her feelings about the experience and her partner and all of those good things. it was interesting and i'll be doubly interested to see what she comes back with after doing some reading and some exploration of her thoughts on the subject and him when she comes back next week. moving on.

you all may or may not know this. i have been watching wrestling (yep the WWE) for a while now. it started with this guy i dated back in 99 but has just become my funny guilty pleasure full of sweaty half naked men i like to lust after. there are a few i look at the show for primarily in addition to the overabundance of breasts that are featured all nice and plump and lovely lol. oh yeah back to why i'm watching now because The Rock has essentially retired even though good lawd he is loverly. anyhoo, the list is like this right now:

  • Permatan aka John Cena---affectionately called Permatan because if he could get a nice deep brown tan the man could get it twice a day and three times on sunday. well of course if i wouldn't get the worst spanking ever and he might come up missing if RS ever ran into him. not trying to get nobody killed soooo lust on Monday nights for about 20 minutes works for me.
  • Bobby Lashley aka Sexual Chocolate---overly cut, looks luscious sweating, incredibly strong, yeah him could get it if RS didn't exist but He does sooo i will just keep drooling when i see Bobby just like i do with Permatan just on a different night.
  • Sexy aka Batista--after a long hiatus brought on by an injury The Animal is back on Smackdown and distracting me whenever he puts on a suit. Him sho is purty. yeah another lusty boy for about 20 minutes on Friday nights.

the rest of the week it's all about Roaming Soldier and the knife i feel running down my spine and the nice sadistic smile i feel Him generating as He watches His little girl react to His touch. ummm cookie peddling anyone?


i'm so spoiled

Thursday, July 13, 2006 No comments
okay i accept and know this. i tend to get what i want even when folks don't know they are giving me what i want. my work day was VERY satisfying. between people telling me they love me for giving them chocolate and my clients all seeming to be on task and feeling better it was a good afternoon. and after a series of near misses the thing i really wanted today happened too. once my last client left for the day i finally caught up with Roaming Soldier. i love seeing His name pop up on my computer but i hate it when i miss it because i'm in a meeting or in session or whatever it is i'm doing. it makes me pout a little. i wanted to talk to Him as i was sealing up the box i have been carefully assembling for Him. and lucky me i got what i wanted (yeah buddy)! i have no idea why i wanted to, it wasn't like He was going to be able to get His hands on it faster just because i was talking to Him or because i was going to tell Him about all the surprises hidden in it because well i wouldn't. off tangent for a minute. i usually run by this one post office to mail things after work and when i don't get a certain employee i have a great time, when i do i always leave annoyed as all hell. i got her today and whoo she makes me sick. back on track. well i wanted to talk to Him so i did and it was just as cute as i had imagined it would be. hopefully He likes everything in there, especially the pictures i stashed in there for Him. none too revealing, not sure what happened to the one that you could clearly see my butterfly tattoo on but it wasn't there when i went to print them out. instead He got a plethora of other silly photos complete with purple sticky notes to explain what He's looking at lol.

that was the only part of His gift box i was nervous about. i am sure He'll like everything else in there, i mean we share a twisted brain path, but we haven't seen one another yet. i don't think i'm a troll or anything lol but i will never be confused for Halle Berry's slightly less than sane self. He'll get to see Daddy Bear too lol so we'll see how all of that works out in a few weeks probably once the box gets to Him off in the desert. a nervous spoiled child is an interesting mix just in case you were wondering. but that's exactly what i am at the moment. okay well i'm done rambling and i am sorta hungry. i'll be back later i THINK. my brain has drifted off into cookie peddling space and i'll probably feel a need to share.

okay see ya


Yippee the rope hit 300!!!!!

Tuesday, July 11, 2006 4 comments
okay so apparently i talk a LOT. i started this blog at the end of august last year. i really didn't think i'd use it that much. it became a place to vent initially about my overall confusion stepping into submission and about my "relationship" with Emperor. the quotations are based on conversations we had as the entire situation was crumbling around us in february. we've gotten past that to a large part and can be friendly but it's hard to process what happened in all of that. but then again that's partly because of what happened shortly after that other "relationship" went kaput.

in what can only be described as a wonderful twist of fate, the day i was struggling with the knife in my heart i met a man that made me smile. He didn't push too hard, He didn't try to be anything but friendly. He was the best thing ever in retrospect. and i have to say it's primarily because He reminded me of my father. He made me girly and happy and opened up His world to me very quickly. couldn't have asked for anything more than that. and to date i haven't had to. He finds nice things to make me smile, in between reminding me about all the nasty little things that He plans on doing to me and making me reduce the kitten population while inspiring the smut you all love so much. i have to admit i wasn't expecting much. not because He wasn't exactly as i described but i had just stopped expecting men to be much of anything . expectations kept getting my feelings hurt. if i took them where they were and worked with that then i couldn't have been too upset if things didn't work out. i never let myself build them up to checklist man (reader's note, checklist man is what i affectionately call the elusive perfect man, no man is perfect though so looking for one to be that way just leads to mass confusion). instead i started looking for the man that made me smile more often than not and made me feel safe. not safe from danger because i'm pretty good at avoiding that. but safe that He respects me and cares about me and wants to protect me from any drama that He can avoid from bringing into our lives. that seems simple enough but you'd be amazed how hard it is to get that and keep that in place.

which brings be back to now. there's a fair shot this blog would have crept along on life support for a while after things ended in february if it were not for Roaming Soldier. i really didn't have a lot to talk about in my brain for a while. i went numb largely and it was because of Him that i turned back into my flirty, silly, smut writing self. He, even though He's thousands of miles away right now, is the rock i depend on more than He knows. whenever i'm at my wits end and just feel like i would rather crawl up in the bed and stay there indefinitely, He shows up and makes me smile and/or cry. the crying is necessary and it's always because i'm happy but yeah He can make me perk up and rejoin the rest of the world with a few words and those sweet little electronic kisses. so here i am being a good girl and missing Him but happy that the world is as it is now. of course i have regrets, all of us do, but i couldn't be happier than i am at this moment in time. i love Him and He loves me and truthfully nothing could feel more perfect than this does right now.

so happy 300th post lovely readers and see ya around

ps kittens are dying again woo hoo!!!!!!!!!!!!! lol sorry couldn't help it.


getting a feel for the place

Monday, July 10, 2006 3 comments
okay we'll see how this first post on the rope's new home goes. i have to thank mija again for saving my technology challenged behind in this respect. it was not processing in my brain and i was actually getting frustrated and mad that i had abandoned the old blogger address. but all for naught it seems as my legs have touched soil off of blogger domain. it's a great place to start don't get me wrong but it was time to have something all my own. i like it, it's me and at least for the next two years it's all mine. we'll see where Roaming Soldier, the Littlest Soldier and i are then and we may have to move to a new domain name altogehter. or it just may get more wordy about eight year old temper tantrums (she'll be fine i'm sure, i was almost an angel at eight) and wondering why i decided it was a good idea to have twins or triplets. even though i have to say that i have been wanting a little crumb snatcher more over the last few weeks. well behaved babies are traps. not to mention a woman at the office just adopted the sweetest little infant. tiny as she wants to be, head full of hair and sleeps her butt off---in the daytime of course---and she had an office full of women cooing over her in ten minutes. my kind of kid i tell ya. of course i don't have her in the middle of the night when she's just getting used her new space and her new parents.

yeah i'm a bit of a tangent i know. it's because i'm sleep deprived. after fussing at Roaming Soldier about Him getting some sleep, i promptly found myself yawning but unable to get to anything resembling sleep until about six this morning. i got up and showered around seven thirty and went back to bed for an hour. i would have left early, because i was clearly out of it till after lunch, but i was covering the crisis shift for another therapist. so while i was perky-esque by four this afternoon i was dragging for sure. now i'm back in bed and would love to go to sleep but my mother will just wake me up asking about dinner and i'd miss the half naked men on WWE. backing up though. i probably would have been up all night but i forced a kitten into its grave after a prolonged battle. so prolonged that when i finally got moving this afternoon i noticed my thighs were sore as all hell. it just got worse over the course of the day but it was worth it. the thing i've noticed though it's taking longer and longer to kill the kittens. i want Roaming Soldier. the toys are nice enough and eventually get the job done. but what i want is Roaming Soldier. i want Him with me, inside me, tormenting me and doting on me. i want to fall asleep with my bottle in my mouth. i want to be a good little girl. i want to peddle some cookies. i just want Him. that was the point of this rambling opus. i just want to be with Daddy. ahh well, till next time ladies and gents.



starts and stops

Sunday, July 09, 2006 2 comments
i will have to beg one of you nice domain possessing individuals for more guidance, the main page is up but i am having trouble with the archives and don't want to lose the blog again in the process. any volunteers? please please pleaseeeeeeeeee


help lol

Thursday, July 06, 2006 4 comments
okay so i bit the bullet and bought a domain name. i need help in how i can move everything here there. anyone got any suggestions, tools, or anything?

eta: if you are reading this you got the word about me moving things around for a bit, the new site is here for the moment. i have to work out how to move and keep the blog address i am currently using, be patient with me okay lol


lyzel in e flat (he loves me) remix

okay i tend to follow up old posts from time to time. usually the posts that i got attached to the titles. this post is a follow up of sorts of this post. a little over five months ago i was killing kittens, thinking about Emperor and blasting Jill Scott. today i'm thinking of Jill and Lyzel for a different reason entirely. well maybe not a different reason but definitely because of a different person. after a week or so of messenger tag and general inability to sync our schedules i got to talk to Roaming Soldier for a while over my lunch break, shortly before i hope He went to bed. did we talk about anything earth shattering? nope, life and missing each other and Littlest Soldier and our assorted friends. was it the best conversation i've had today? oh hell yes. it's necessary to be able to say hey i miss You and know that you are missed in return. yes my letters clearly express that BUT it's nice for both of us to have some realtime communication. and we are able to tease each other a little more readily this way. all of this is great but it's not why lyzel had to be remixed and ressurected. i'm not sure how many of you remember the merry melodies cartoons. i used to love them as a child and now they come on as part of retro blocks or on boomerang. anyway, one of my favorites was about a little owl family who were singers. one kid, always got to be one that is difficult lol, sings the horrible jazz music his father hates and gets kicked out but ultimately ends up winning a little talent contest. it's the cutest thing and i love the song and i may have mentioned it to Roaming Solider once or twice but was so not expecting THIS from Him today. i literally threw my hand over my mouth in amazement and had to lavish Him with a few of those lovely e-kisses yahoo happily provides me. it would have been sweet of Him to send no matter where He was in the world but considering where He is and what He's doing RIGHT now this has me floating in almost as nice of a way as subspace. mind you i said almost, there are few things that can touch subspace that also don't require another human being with you. and since my human being is fast asleep across the globe, i'll just have to remember lyzel and come back to THIS whenever i want to remember if He loves me or not. of course i don't doubt that He does but it's little things like this that make a girl just blush and blush and blush once more for good measure.

okay i'm out,


all i want for christmas is my two front teeth

Tuesday, July 04, 2006 No comments
okay so we are what six months away from christmas? lol sorry it popped into my head as i was thinking about this post. of course i have long since had my two front teeth and have no plans on losing them anytime soon so i don't need or want them to be replaced anytime soon. my mind is a bit jumbled but i'm drugged up so the hormones should be under more control now. i still may ramble but i should do it without getting weepy.

the last few months have been very interesting for me. as the time apart keeps stretching into some finite distance for Roaming Soldier and i, i have continually been bombarded with lustful glances, thoughts and wonderings from the men that have come before Him. with one notable exception who has been very respectful in all of this. men who are suddenly in town or headed this way. men who miss me or just happened to have me on the brain all of a sudden. men who i have to admit fired off some more interesting memories stored on the neural pathways in my brain. good memories but nothing that makes me want to wrap my limbs around them and for a few minutes forget there is a Roaming Soldier. however, my brain and heart are finally in sync so i can't just be with someone. well i mean i can but i'd just be wondering why can't he spank me right? when is he going to call me little girl? how would i explain this to Roaming Soldier? all i want is Him. i want Him home with me and the little one. i want to look up when the damn sun is creeping into the room and know that He's both there and waiting for me. i want simple things right now. simple is good.



hormonal ramblings

Monday, July 03, 2006 No comments
my nipples miss a touch they have never experienced. my lips miss a caress that has never brushed across them. my body nearly aches for a man that has never stepped foot in my home to embrace me, take me, claim me and keep me close to Him indefinitely. every kitten that meets an untimely end is brought to the quick by thoughts of Him. when my pussy swells and and throbs it's because He has overwhelmed my senses and is begging me to give Him my pleasure to use as He pleases. and well i'm all too happy to oblige. the thrusting, the moans, the panting, the sweat, the tussled hair are all little tributes to the nice man that adores me. in truth they are a pale subsitute for what it is that i desire but they remind me that anything can get me off but only He can make me satisfied. i cum like a rocket all by myself. i don't cum hard the way i do with a partner. i don't cum slowly and in a way that would convince the neighbors He might be killing me if they ever overheard me. i don't cum on command, i don't cum for Him the way i will soon. i lust for the completion that His touch can give me. i want to feel the calm that only a night alone in the arms of the one you love can bring. besides i want to act goofy with Him and watch His facial expressions change at the number of different ways Daddy can be uttered and mean totally different things. i want to be with Him right now in more ways than i could possibly explain. okay now i'm going to go write Him a letter, kill a kitten, cry a little and burn a candle. i told y'all i was hormonal.



one lump or two

Sunday, July 02, 2006 No comments

This week's best of the sex blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Want in Sugasm #38? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the linklist within a week and you're all set.


Sex and Porn Events (
June Contest (
Plea to the Sex-Blogging Community (


Alison Angel and Real Peachez (
Red Headed Beauty Jacinta Shot by Abby Winters (
Teen Lesbian Rides Her Lover's Tongue (
Alison Angel Topless in Jeans (
Women in Red (
15 on 1 (
Anthony Guerra, Pin Up Artist (
Cutie Playmate Sara Jean Underwood (
Cum on Eileen (movies and review) (

BDSM and Fetish

Welcum Home Daddy (
The Making of a Cuckold - J. Part 1 ( COZsxX1lJCR)
Spanked and Reconnected (
BDSM Homemakers (
On Belts and Hotel Rooms (
Play Contract, Saturday and the Bondage Chair (
Concentrate (
"I Have A Surprise For You, Lil Girl" (

More Sugasm... Join the Sugasm

Sex Advice and Sexy Reviews

Choosing the Right Lube (
Kegel Size Me, Baby! (
Caught Red-Handed (
How Clothes Make Sex Hotter (
DVD: The Noise (Lupus Pictures) (

Thoughts on Sex

Opposing Forces: Laws of Attraction (
Read My Lips: It's Vulva, Not Vagina (
Ten Ambiguously Gay Game Characters (
But Never Sexually Dishonest (
Beneath This Conservative Exterior (
Eating Pussy (
The Denial (
Racist Caller (

Erotic Writing and Experiences

Comfortably Decadent - Part One (
Her Surprise (Part One) (
Swapping and Smooching on the Strip (
Stories You Wouldn't Write Home About: Jekyll, Hyde, and the Happy Whore Place (
Lunch at the Fountain of You (
Theatrics (
My Turn, Your Turn (
Summer Vacation (
So Hot, So Hard (
Loving vs. Fucking (
Two in One Day or "I Want Some Cinnamon" (
Losin' It (
I Want a Sunday Kind Of Love... (
The Middle of the Night (
One Plus Two (
Vegas (
God is Infinitely Seductive (
Doin' tha Dirty Dishes (
Vivid Dream (
Little Tease (
Fade (