and surprising everyone, a compromise has been reached

Friday, December 29, 2006 No comments
well i wasn't haven't the best day on wednesday now was i? the headache got worse and lasted well into yesterday. but the idea of staying in here with a pissed off old woman wasn't appealing. i figured most of the rush of gift card shoppers would be gone so i ventured out to the mall. you heard that right ladies and gents. i shut off my normally highly adverse to shopping brain and went exploring. i stopped at two shoe stores and then went wandering off to build-a-bear. i love them, the most random toy--a child's teddy bear--becomes an otherworldly shopping experience. you have dozens of animals to choose from. you can get them stuffed to any desirable softness. you make a wish on the heart that is placed into your teddy and then you dress and name them and get them registered so that if the bear gets lost then it can be returned. here is what i started with...

and i got him nice and stuffed and then dressed him in this...

and of course he needed shoes so i put these on...

and then i had to think of a name. for a minute i was stumped, after all i have a large chocolate bear named Daddy Bear already. then it dawned on me. he was my little soldier bear so why not Roaming Soldier and voila my teddy has been created. so i leave my first just for fun store happy. i go back to payless and grab my sneaker. but in the middle of this my mother has set up camp in the car. she didn't buy anything just grabbed a catalog and sat in the freaking car lol. so i go to best buy and get my new digital camera to take pictures of my present from cyberdiva and my lovely new bear and some nice kinky things for RS but then i had to get food from PF Chang's--had a gift card and then went to wally world for the last time this year (i hope and pray dearly) and mommy got her nails done. somewhere in the middle of the last two stops she quit acting like a five year old and at least agreed to try to behave.

when i got home and looked at the net i found that best buy had a better camera than the one i bought for about 15 bucks more if i ordered online and then picked it up and one slightly better than my purchase for the same price as what i picked up. i headed back that way of course as i am lazy and have only a few stops i plan on making between now and going back to work. well i returned my 5.0 megapixel and got a 7.1 megapixel for the grand total difference of 14 bucks and because i was not shelling out 143 and then getting cash back i asked if they would honor the online price and yippee for me they did. save this asshole trying to run me off the road because they refused to get out of the lane that was being shut down until the last minute yesterday was pretty damn good. now if i can just get that build a bear wish to come true i'll be a happy girl.

if you want to go to a build a bear or just order one click to find out the best option for you.


i have a headache

Wednesday, December 27, 2006 No comments
and it's one that i should have known was coming as soon as i grabbed the old woman that gave birth to me at the airport. it started with how tired she was after flying--ignored it. it continued with a twenty minute conversation about what it was she wanted to eat full of long pauses and seemingly little thought on her part--got irritated but let it go. it carried on with complaints about why my dissertation chair was so close to me in one of the pictures while we were walking down the center aisle to our seats--stared at her and shook my head but ignored it. the rest of the evening wasn't that bad and really we joked around for a bit and let it go. today though, praise the good Lord above i tried, she came in midday to ask why i wasn't up and dressed because she wanted to go somewhere. i never said we were going anywhere. then tonight after i put dinner in the oven she came back to visit me and ask me when EXACTLY we were moving out of here because she couldn't take a few more weeks of children making a minor amount of noise above her head. now let me say that i don't know what it is like for my mother. she's in her mid fifties and is depending on her children to help her live her life. she can't drive, she can't remember things from moment to moment and her own mother is losing her grasp on reality. logically i know those things must suck. emotionally i want her to be happy and to be like she was but then again i remember she's not all that different than before the surgery. she's never been the most accommodating person. if she doesn't get what she wants she has cut people off and never spoken to them again all the while blaming it on them for some insignificant thing she must have done to not be "good enough" for them. she enjoyed my brother's place because it was "so quiet" compared to here. i asked her then if she wanted to stay longer because i knew i wouldn't be ready to move the minute she got back. i was actually trying to be polite and allow her to pick the place as well but yeah that's not good enough either. part of me is prone to say fuck it, if she leaves i can find a two bedroom place closer to my job and just wait for Roaming Soldier and Littlest Soldier and i to reunite and we can live wherever we want without worrying about her. but we all know that even if she wasn't here i'd worry about her. she's my mother, i'm supposed to worry about her and in her selfishness right now she's headed to a place that will not make sure she is okay and will bleed her dry financially. i called my brother and let him know what she's doing and now i'm blogging. i took a nice big painkiller which is starting to kick in but that won't get rid of the headache. what exactly am i supposed to do with this woman? she acts like a small child but she has more financial resources. i'm tired and she hasn't even been home a day yet. if she packs and leaves will i really be all that upset? i'm not sure now lol. i wish He was here to help me figure this out or spank me. either way it would be better than this crap. gotta go check on dinner, see ya



awww sugar yeah honey honey

Monday, December 25, 2006 No comments

The best of this weeks blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasmer participants. Want in Sugasm #61? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the linklist within a week and you're all set.

This Week's Picks

A night at the opera (

"There were limits to what could be done where there was any discernible level of visibility. But I was familiar with these limits and had enjoyed them before."

In Praise of Older Men (

"I would expect her to have at least one lad on the side, and perhaps more."

A Nawty Story: Cookies and Cream (

"I pull my hand away from her pussy and sniff her fragrances on my fingers."

Mr. Sugasm Himself

Raunchy Wrapping Paper (

Editors' Choice

Christmas for the lonely wanker (

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Erotic Writing and Experiences

The Desk (
Girl talk, Part II (
Ho (
I Like it Wet (
Just throw it in (
My First Gang Bang! (
The Secret Lover (
Threesome (

BDSM and Fetish

First steps in sensory deprivation (
Leaving your mark (
The Package (
S Is For Surrender (
Ten with the Cane (

Sex and Politics

Porn and Religion (

Sex Work

So You Love Sex... (

NSFW Pics (& videos)

Aria Giovanni is super hot! (
A Gallery of Art-Tits (
Lara of "1000 Words" in the kitchen (

Sex News, Reviews & Interviews

Apple gets the pip with iBuzz (
Christmas Comes Early: the Hottest Sex Toy of 2006 (
A few of our favourite things. (
iBuzz Two Review (
Pillow Talk: Interview with Erica Scott (Shadow Lane and Spanking Epics) (
The Sybian is an Orgasm Factory! (

Thoughts on Sex and Relationships

Christmas for the lonely wanker (
It's All Hydraulics, Really (
Tag, Tag, Tag, and Tag.... (


merry christmas

okay this post probably won't be that long. i finished my desserts for tomorrow. an amaretto white chocolate pecan pie and muffins i made from my cream cheese poundcake batter. it ended up making twelve largish muffins and only cooked for an hour. i can remember that for small parties in case i need to frost a few or put something special in certain cups for different folks. my domestic side is coming out lol. i've been cleaning up and getting rid of the stuff i don't need. i also finally started using the shredder i bought many moons ago to get rid of important documents as safely as possible.

my brother and sister in law have crossed into the age bracket that folks automatically assume it's okay to start asking you when are you going to have kids totally neglecting the fact that they don't have to take care of the crumbsnatchers if you are nice enough to oblige them by having some before the next major family gathering. i gave them my old lines--if you keep them till they are potty trained i will happily assist you with that OR i'm entirely too selfish to share my sleep with another human right now--and told them to give folks cookies and ask them to sit down. other than that it's a good day around this way. i haven't talked to Roaming Soldier but i know He is safe and i know that He loves me. what else could a girl want? okay hug your families, i'll bother ya after my food induced coma wears off.

oh and if you have any desire to know my favorite christmas song click below. love ya

forgot to mention, this was my 400th post lol


waving goodbye to 2006

Saturday, December 23, 2006 No comments
well it's not quite Christmas yet but it's time for the annual reevaluation of life, love and all that is wonderful and all the crap that transpired this year. this will be like all the other evaluation posts i do--long winded and full of videos or music. this year was one for the record books as far as my life is concerned. i'm a few days shy of when my mother moved in and made me fall off the map with friends and family. she hadn't put a strain on my "relationship" with Emperor but then again she didn't have to. he was off exploring other avenues and i just hadn't quite picked up on that yet. i hear music that is perfectly fitting a situation more often than not well after the situation has passed. four songs come to mind now as i think of Emp and nope not one of them is a prince song lol. the first is bitter by chante moore--really just because of the line about i hate your dog, i won't elaborate beyond that lol. the next is hate me today by blue october--knowing the real meaning behind the words doesn't make me appreciate it any less than i did before. walk away by kelly clarkson because i mean really if you don't know what you want how can i help you? and finally justin timberlake's what goes around comes around. the link to hear it is below this section. it's a long song because a break down is included at the end of the song but really it's my favorite part of the song. the burning ache in my chest went away quickly thank God but he was part of the first two months of 06 for me and i was disappointed things happened they did.

but if i thought that would be the most eventful part of my year i was wrong. there was much more fighting to do with mom than i could imagine. trying to have a roommate after not sharing space with anyone from the age of 18 was a bit of an adjustment. she's a lovely woman and i know she means well but lord every now and then i wish i could just have some peace and quiet--like now--to get my thoughts together and not have to take care of anyone but me. so for mom a nod to her ringtone and marvin gaye.

she did derail my energy and motivation a bit from time to time which pissed off both myself and my dissertation chair to a certain degree. i hate not finishing things and it puts me in a bad mood to not get things done on my schedule. i had friends postpone about three graduation trips because of my own inability to get stuff taken care of when i should have. but as they say there is always a light at the end of the tunnel. "breaking up" with Emperor spurred a lot of work to get done and then just my own stubborness to get the monkey off my back caused me to stop screwing around and get things taken care of. thank heavens for that because now my life is my own again. this year, much like my time in undergrad showed me i had the balls to do whatever i needed. enjoy a bit of christina and join me in fighting lol.

work was work and it's one of those things that made me glad i had supportive people around me but reminded me about how different really i am from those folks around me. not just in the sense that i'm the only black woman on staff or i'm a bit younger than most of them. it's just a mindset thing--beyond needing to get spanked lol--that doesn't make me want to settle down here and set up shop. here's a video for you.

the biggest change this year was realization that it was time to get my life back into balance. i have been working at my job, on my dissertation, taking care of my mother and doing all that while holding my love life at bay. i think i lept at Emperor so gladly last year because it was my first foray back into having something that was good for me. regardless of how it turned out the cracks that were present were about there still not being enough of a balance. our needs never matched up enough for that relationship to come to any fruition. i had four walls to sleep in, a few dozen walls to work in but nothing to make my life a full experience for me.

as soon as my brain processed what i needed and what it was that i really wanted i was blessed with the most wonderful Man i have had the pleasure of knowing. i really can't muster up the words correctly so i am going to ask that you listen to tamia.

now when it comes to Roaming Soldier i was not expecting Him or His presence in my life this year. i periodically think i must be dreaming because after a few decades of dating and coming up with squat for it you start to get a little jaded about the whole experience. i mean i still had friends that were were inspiring me to keep hope alive but i wasn't looking very hard at that point. even though He's away and really i don't know when He'll be able to climb into bed with me and start working through the smutty collection with me He has been a total and complete Godsend that i am thankful for each night. press play and enjoy babyface.

the other thing that happened this year was me getting refocused on my responsibility to the rest of the world lol. nope i can't save it and nope i can't fix it for everyone around but i can do my part here and there. i will get back into my volunteer work and continue my sponsorship of my kid in the Phillipines. until they let me take over the world it's the least i could do.

i'm finally turning into that woman i wanted to be when i was itty bitty. i'm happy with my life and my love and my plans for the immediate future. there's no more confusion about why i'm not where i want to be. i know now if i'm not what i want to be it's mostly on me. i can be whomever i want and do whatever i want. i can be the soccer mom if the kids want to do that and still come home, put the corset on over the white t-shirt and and shake my ass in front of Him after we get the kids to bed. i'm a big girl like that lol.

okay i'm done looking back over the year. the rest of the songs will be random sappy happy songs because that's the place i'm in this year. i hope the year was good to all of you but if it wasn't that you have a much more blessed 2007. starting off the hit parade with beautiful loved and blessed.


red's randomness report

Friday, December 22, 2006 1 comment
wow can't believe it's been this long since i updated. i remember typing something at the airport but maybe it got lost in cyberspace. so what's new? our time off of work starts today and we don't go back till after the 1st of the year. YIPPEE! i am getting caught up on all of my paperwork there and will be done with it the first week we are back. getting used to be calling dr. red but i'm sure that will take some more time. actually thinking about getting personalized plates but i want to talk to Roaming Soldier about that first. i'm sure He'll approve but i still want to check in.

i've been tired lately. they gave me something to help with my ankle but one of the side effects is apparently me getting very sleepy very early. not that it's a bad thing but y'all know i can stay up indefinitely sometimes. other than that i've been staring at my boobs since i got home. they seem bigger than i remember them being but i can't prove that. it's probably just the shelf bra that i'm wearing. i got to talk to Roaming Soldier by the way. it was tuesday night at this point. He was very tired but He was also very flirty. helped to take out a kitty that evening. i miss Him y'all. i've been horny as a teenager sailor on shore leave. and i want Him home to reap the benefits of all that energy. i've had a few stories rushing around in my brain for Him too that i am going to work on now that i'm on "vacation" and of course that means i'll share them with you too.

say a prayer for all those soliders, like my Daddy, that will not be home with their families this holiday season. remember them and hug your loved ones tighter before you let them out of your sight. love ya all but it's time for bed.



and i love Him

Sunday, December 17, 2006 No comments
okay this post will be short more than likely. i should so be sleeping but i made sure i did all the major things i needed to do for today (sunday) yesterday before i got back here. short of the wallets printing a bit weird at walgreens i'm good. well i don't have exactly what i wanted for my girlfriend that's in town but other than that i'm having a grand old time away from my place and from the responsibilities of my grown up life. but and this is a minor but in the grand scheme of things. because i crashed early last night i missed Roaming Soldier which would have been the highlight of the early morning hours of my birthday but it would have mean i didn't get the lovely email that greeted me instead. it inspired me to go searching the new song service i use to post stuff on the blog for the right song. i hope this works because the first song i was thinking of is nowhere to be found. i mean who could pass up reading these words from the Man they love:

"Today, I sit here and could never imagine My life without you in it. ...My big little girl, I love you and that will never change. you make Me smile through the tears, laugh through the pain, hope through all the sorrow."

believe me i wrote something equally sappy back. okay it's bedtime now.


the graduate has landed

Friday, December 15, 2006 1 comment
it's ten o'clock. do you know where your resident submissive is hiding out? of course you don't because i never tell y'all that kind of stuff lol. i'm in my hotel room after a strange day. i woke up EARLY. i never do that when i am flying out. i got up and showered---revisit that never thing. i sealed up Daddy Bear and Elle (pronounced el-ee) for the trip---okay that's standard. i grabbed all the stuff i needed and loaded up the car. i stopped the paper, emptied the trash and then put a box of presents in the car to mail to the family. umm i can have productive moments but that was just ridiculous. i got the packages off, checked my luggage and got through security ninety minutes before the flight. again that's just not like me but when i finally started feeling like enough is enough i went for food only to find that my flight was going to be delayed until noon if i was lucky. well before i got to enjoy the food i bought i got summoned over to the gate lol and got booked onto a flight through st. louis and avoided the chicago drama altogether. i ended up getting here an hour ahead of time and got my car--no suv upgrade this time lol--but it's a step up from my car--same make just different model you know what i mean--and it was so cute. my hotel bed is lovely. the wireless connection is iffy but i'm glad to be connected at all because i want to be online just in case Roaming Soldier can log on.

there's a bridal party in the hotel this weekend. now please don't get offended by this because i love everyone really i do lol but there is nothing more humorous--well small children might be funnier--than a group of semi drunk, tired, chain smoking white folks. the men are flirty, the women just a little louder than normal and the entire group will share way too much information with perfect strangers. not that i would crash a wedding or reception but they gave me all the information i would need in case i was just that bored. i wish the bride and groom good luck even though they'll never see this lol because tomorrow is my birthday and you have to be wonderfully blessed if you do anything on the day i graced the world lol. my girlfriend will be here tomorrow and we are going to hang out and giggle before the big festivities. okay i think i've rambled on enough. gotta get over this eastern standard time thing.

see ya


what did you eat before bed?

Wednesday, December 13, 2006 1 comment
the last few nights have been interesting, to say the least, in the mind of red. as i've gotten closer and closer to graduation (and my birthday yippee!) my brain has ventured further and further off my typical stressful dreams momentarily interuppted by strange events or kinky thoughts about Roaming Soldier. the last two nights to be precise have started off pretty normal only to turn into these intensely steamy sexual situations with literally no prompting. i've been super tired the last few nights so i've even managed to fall asleep early and it hasn't helped a bit in staving off the damn near pornographic images (even though last night had porn stars in it) from flooding my brain. normally when i have weird dreams people ask what i had to eat before i went to bed. well monday i had an orgasm and last night i had some ice cream but that's it. now where was i? okay so smutty dreams that don't start off that way. and there's no cheesy porno type lead in. i'm just minding my business and then boom naked and enjoying myself.

monday night i dreamt about being on a talk show with my girlfriends from undergrad. doesn't start off too bad. one is pregnant so she's at home getting ready to have her kid. the other three of us are sitting around talking about relationships, kids and sex potentially but nothing too intense. i'm getting bored, but i do that because i periodically have the shortest attention span known to man, and am very glad when someone finally yells cut and lets us leave for the day. i kiss them goodbye and hop in my car to head home. the driver pulls off and this is where it gets blurry. either i'm having sex with Roaming Soldier in the back of the limo while people are watching us or someone that RS knows is having sex with me while He watches and critiques the performance. now that first one is off in far far away land as far as potential to happen is concerned. that second one ROFLMAO i would absolutely stunned if RS was ever that willing to share His little girl. okay so yeah i wake up and shake my head after that and wonder what exactly brought that on.

last night i was in my house. nice huge house with a master bedroom that was so luscious i can see never wanting to leave it. the bathroom, only a girl who enjoys being in nice hot showers or long warm soaks could appreciate fully, was stunning and i found myself playing around in there longer than i anticipated. my husband, at least i am thinking it's Roaming Soldier but this person doesn't fit the height requirement lol, walks up behind me and starts hugging me at first. before i know it He's groping whatever He can get His hands on and then we're messing around on the floor before i go after my bottle. i'm enjoying it, He's DEFINITELY enjoying it and so for a moment we don't notice the bathroom door has opened and His friend is trying to pull me towards him and shove himself down my throat. i looked over at RS, who at this point is starting to look like Brian Pumper for some damn reason, and He still has His eyes closed i guess thinking i was going to get something to toy with Him with. the friend had been watching us and was close to getting off which is apparently why he wanted my mouth. before he could get it across my lips good RS got up and yanked him out of the bathroom and shut and locked the door. the friend is complaining that he was almost done and RS basically tells him that if he doesn't get away from the door in the next five seconds that He would be forced to hurt him. the interruption now over, i crawled over to Him and started sucking on my bottle again before i woke up--again shaking my head. anyone got any ideas what that's all about besides me being horny and wanting Him home?

all right moving on. i swear i hear and see the strangest things sometimes. now i don't hate kanye west but i would have to think twice about saving him if it meant he would keep putting out badly named records (i mean shouldn't you register late for classes BEFORE you drop out of college?). so imagine the giggle on my face as i read the article linked here (please click on the word here in bold to read the article). kanye done pissed off evel knievel and yes i meant to type it just like that lol. oh the giggles the giggles i tell you.

last night i watch the unit for a change instead of criminal intent. don't get me wrong i love CI but i hate it when bobby's not on there and he hasn't been on for a few weeks now. i know they brought back these other characters to give bobby a break but damn it i want bobby lol. okay moving on. it was a good storyline last night for both of the subplots. i enjoyed them both and i love looking at Jonas Blane and i guess it gave my Molly moments a boost. the whole black ops storyline was good too and i'm thinking our hapless pilot will be back on another episode.


lol a present for y'all

Tuesday, December 12, 2006 No comments
i'm okay, just nothing on my mind except Roaming Soldier so i won't belabor that with y'all right now. enjoy the clip. the subtitles usually annoy me but given the accent she was working with they will be helpful for those of you that don't speak english as a native language and heck some of you that do lol.


i love this song and i miss Him

Saturday, December 09, 2006 No comments
i don't have a lot to say tonight. it was a long day, productive but long. still no sign of the box and no sign of the letters He sent. i did get another letter calling me dr. velvet which made me scratch my head again. it's just random and it will take some getting used to. don't get me wrong i'm glad to be done but it's a little anti-climatic. it's been a huge focus and weight on my shoulders for five years and now in eight days i'll be in a fluffy hat and velvety sleeved robe waiting for my uber long hood to be put around my neck and draped down my back. ok that was so off tangent it is out of control. but really nothing much is going on red velvet land. i really just want to go to sleep and wake up with Him but since that won't be happening i'll just go back to vegging out until i put mom on a plane tomorrow.

love ya all


i'm just tired

Thursday, December 07, 2006 No comments
the end of the post has lyrics to a song that has been stuck in my brain for the last 90 minutes or so. if you have seen blazing saddles then you will totally get the whole sound of it. if you haven't seen it, well damn it go see it. it's been a busy month already and plenty left to do. i'm leaving work early tomorrow to get my hair done but that little excursion aside i'm supposed to go to a work party after that, have sorority meeting and gathering on saturday and mom is leaving on sunday. now i will likely be riding the big toy after she leaves but until then i'm on a schedule not of my own choosing. then the damn post office has lost the box i was sending to Roaming Soldier. it took me two weeks to even get them to take the damn claim and then after someone finally called me back they were like ohhh we can't really look for it until a month has passed. why the fuck would i want the box back then? pardon my language but that is just foolishness. so i am already putting a new box together for Him and will send it out probably on Monday. but the mail He has been sending me isn't getting here either. i could go on this long tangent about how someone at the post office hates me but that would just take more energy than i'm willing to expend. it just makes me very sad and makes me miss Him more. okay i'm gonna stop now before i get more mopey than i am right now.

Here I stand, the goddess of Desire,
set men on fire,
I have this power,
morning noon and night it's drink and dancing,
some quick romancing,
and then a quick shower,
stage door johnnies always surround me,
they always hound me,
with one request,
who can satisfy their lustful habits,
I'm not a rabbit!
I need some rest!

I'm tired,
sick and tired of love,
I've had my fill of love,
from below and above,
tired of being admired,
tired of love uninspired,
let's face it,
I'm tired!

I've been with 1000's of men,
again and again,
they promise the moon,
they always coming and going,
going and coming,
and always too soon!
Right girls?

I'm tired,
tired of playing the game,
ain't it a crying shame?
I'm so tired,
God dammit I'm tired!

Hello cowboy, what's your name?
Tex 'mam
Tex 'mam ? Tell me Tex'mam, are you in show business?
We'll then why don't you get your freaking feet off here
La ha
Ah ha he hu...
Hello handsome, is that a 10 gallon hat? Or are you just enjoying the show?
Ah ha ah...
Oh miss lilly, oh my laby, oh my pussy cat, put it there baby, put it... ohhhhh

I'm tired,
tired of playing the game,
ain't it a crying shame,
I'm so tired

she's tired
-she's tired
sick and tired of love
-give her a break
she's had her fill of love
-she's not a snake
from bellow and above
-can't you see she's sick?
-she's bushed
tired of being admired
-let her alone
tired of love uninspired
-get off the phone
she's tired
-don't you know she's pooped?

I've been with 1000's of men,
again and again,
they sing the same toon,
the start with Byron and Shelly,
and jump on your belly,
and bust your ballon!
tired of playing the game,
ain't it a freakin shame,
I'm so...
let's face it,
everything below the waste is kapput!


where or where did red velvet go

Sunday, December 03, 2006 2 comments
i swear i didn't mean to vanish. between being horny and the snow and annoyance at my office i was distracted. i killed more kittens lately than i have in quite a while and there was still so much work to freaking do that really i wanted to throw a tantrum and turn into the next Cyndi Sheehan. "bring back my Dom, bring back my Dom!" but i figured that would probably end up getting Him in unneccessary trouble so i just took out another kitten. the sleet and rain came down on thursday before turning into snow and making sure i didn't have to go to work on friday. but i still had to drive out of town and surprisingly most of the highway was clear in my immediate area and then outside of the city it was great. i spent the last two nights there and whenever i thought about blogging i went "eh no" and decided not to. i was in a meeting for about twelve hours yesterday which was fine all in all. it was a good meeting and i left being rejuvenated but entirely too tired to drive home. hotel bed was good again. but the best part of being gone was just getting some rest and some quiet. okay that wasn't the best thing. the best thing was an unexpected--aren't they all unexpected at this point?--and too short conversation with Roaming Soldier. it was perhaps the last time that i was incredibly horny and able to talk to Him and i have to blame the song that you can click below. i have this oral fixation that is acting up so badly right now. when i heard the end of this song it just made things worse and i told Him about it. bad little girl i know but He was happy that my mind was spinning in that direction and still focused on Him. so yeah the kitten that died today died because i was thinking about my bottle and Him and all the different ways that could make Him very happy. anyway go enjoy the music and Daddy if You are able to click the link just remember what i said the other night. just need You home and we are gonna have so much fun.