google's i feel lucky
http://www.marrymemovie.com/

contradictions or why i like the cookie dough analogy
so to start with the title is way too long i know. but it makes sense in light of what is on my mind so bear with me. i know i've talked about it before here and others have elsewhere about the inherent contradictions there are in submission for some women, well for most women. even those who are submissive by nature still have their moments where they are fully in control of their lives and potentially the lives of others but at the end of the day they relinquish that control happily to someone else. if He were home i'd be one of those women. 8 to 5 life almost in total opposition the multitude of hours that surround it. no one that knows the strictly vanilla side of me would ever believe you if you sat down with them and said oh by the way red is a nice subbie girl who likes to get spanked. and honestly if i wasn't me i'd be right there in disbelief with them. i think this is why i have readily identified with women who seemed to be somewhat contradictory in presentation. women who are by all outward appearances very strong, in charge of their lives and sensuality/sexuality but seem to be waiting for something else or someone else to share the load with.
take the person who the cookie dough analogy originated with, buffy summers lol. i'm sure you are going what, isn't that buffy from buffy the vampire slayer? why yes it is. it was a random conversation toward the end of the show between buffy and angel. there is that inevitable moment whenever they are together that the tug starts up again and for a minute we can just hope they can figure out how to be really happy with each other without him going all crazy stalker vampire again. she just as easily could have said my job sucks and until it's over we can't be together to angel who as we know would still be smoking hot whenever that was lol but she didn't. instead she told him that she was still cookie dough and she wasn't done baking yet. she needed some time on her own before she could even daydream about angel with warm fuzzy thoughts again. it's a nice way to say i still have a load to carry that i'm not ready to share with you yet. instead he comes in and gives her the method to save herself and mostly everyone around her and leaves as he always does. and i can say that made me ache a little bit when i saw it because i could totally relate to being cookie dough because i didn't really understand why i never trusted the men around me to bake me as it were lol. i didn't trust them to appreciate the cookie dough that was me. instead i went about being very focused, very buffy-esque in my pursuit of me and only being half satisfied with it. to her credit, even when they have been thoroughly warped, sarah michelle gellar has played some pretty kick ass women on screen and has seemed to find someone that compliments her well privately. i love her and freddie together but please no more movies together. if you want to read the full quote scroll to the end of this post. thanks to Much Ado about Buffy the Vampire Slayer for having it up.
as i was prepping this i also thought about the mickey mouse club's former member now blond retro diva with the best pipes. i mean who else other than christina aguilera could have sung it's a man's world and done it immeasurable justice? i remember when christina and britney hit the airwaves and prayed for their quick demise from the pop world. i mean i really didn't need anymore sugary sweet blonds singing for me. especially when one couldn't sing. thankfully christina didn't go away, she evolved and got better writers and let her voice come through. stripped is one of my favorite albums ever and back to basics is equally lovely at times. she caught a lot of flack for that whole X-tina thing and i think she handled it well. yes she also dated a back up dancer but unlike the talent challenged peers that did the same coughjlocoughcoughbritneycough she didn't marry him or heaven forbid have babies with him. she moved on in private (thank heavens) mostly and found the man of her dreams, married him and with whom she is expecting (haven't heard if the kid came yet) her first child with. that's 1 marriage and 1 baby folks. i know i of all people shouldn't be sounding prudish but waiting until you are ready is such a wonderful thing. rebound marriages should be outlawed. but that's off tangent. she hasn't tried to become an actress, is putting out consistently good music and is well respected for her talent. yeah she is a cutie pie but she does that because she wants to not to mask her inadequacies in the studio. she's the vocal buffy equivalent but she also seems to have kept most of her private life private. she seems to happily be her husband's compliment even though in most circles no one knew his name before they said i do.
by no means am i saying that either of the women are submissive, i just see the contradiction in them that i see in lots of strong women who struggle to find that balance, the cookie baker if you will, for themselves. at the time it felt like i was being a traitor to the gender if i acknowledged the type of man i wanted in my life. that it somehow meant i had to do less in that day to day world if i wanted the right chef to come along and whip the dough into shape (pun fully intended). i struggled with that for years before i was ready to give up all the while finding the strength i saw in other women as empowering and kinda sexy lol. for much of the three decades i've been floating around the earth i've been cookie dough. i haven't completely lost my doughy consistency because there is no one here to pull me out of the oven when i'm nice and golden brown. but hopefully He will be soon and then He can tell you what kind of cookie i taste like (pun fully intended again).
beyond telling you what flavor of cookie i am i have decided some other things for 2008. i am not making resolutions this year. i never keep them unless the resolution is to ignore them. after my last bit of licensing stuff i am committed to a full out makeover of my mindset, my physical appearance and personal relationships. i am taking care of myself next year or i will die trying. i'm too young to be at my current weight. i'm too young to not be nurturing my friendships better and i'm entirely too young to not make sure everything is in good working order. i'll update you randomly about how that is going. hope you all are having a merry christmas, had a happy hanukkah, will have a happy kwanzaa and that something wonderful happens to you before your breaks are over.
Full Quote: "I'm cookie dough. I'm not done baking. I'm not finished becoming whoever the hell it is I'm gonna turn out to be. I make it through this, and the next thing, and the next thing, and maybe one day I turn around and realize I'm ready. I'm cookies. And then, you know, if I want someone to eat— or enjoy warm, delicious cookie me, then... that's fine. That'll be then. When I'm done."
~Chosen

sugar while you wait
The best of this week's blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #111? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you're all set.
This Week's PicksSex Worker Solidarity: Audacia Ray
"Visibility on our own terms and the ability to uses our voices (and other mediums of expression) are key to the progress of sex worker's rights."
"Everyone wants to avoid generalizations about men and women, yet they're too powerful to ignore."
"She had That Look, and despite my earlier fatigue, I knew what was coming."
Mr. Sugasm HimselfHombre Magazine's Left Handed Ads
Editor's ChoiceSee also: Fleshbot's Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.
Sex Advice
The Everything Guide To Bras
Giving a woman a pedicure
Sex Tips for "Married Old Guys" - How to Keep Your Sex Life Hot, Even Without Erections!
Ten Things I've Learned abut Sex #3: Leave Your Clothing on a Pile
Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
Different Level of Consciousness
Intimacy
Jodie Foster, a lesbian
Loved endlessly...
Non-anniversary, uncelebration
Unwanted sexual experiences from a new angle; Men have needs too!
Where Do I Come (In)?
BDSM & Fetish
Dinner and a Menage' a Trois
Dominating her, er again part2
A Little Restraint
More from my last visit (pt. 2)
My First Erotic Awakening Massage
One Hell Of First Date
Thoughts...
V is for Vicious Ardor
Whip Me, Beat Me --And Call It Girlfriend Experience
Sex News, Reviews & InterviewsFeatured Design: Pro-Porn
Fuck The Cheerleader, Fuck The World. (Hogtied.com, Forced Orgasms, Cheerleader)
Gift Guide #2
Intern Sex Toy Review - Saturn Cockring
Interview with Greta Christina about hiring a professional submissive
Pinky & Jade at Pinkys House (Inside Dacia's Dirty Mind)
Catalina loves Turning 36
Christmas Tree HNT
Fingers
Foreplay
I Speak Roughly, Part 2: RBU
It's
The Kiss: All Through The Night.
The Limitations of Terminology
Patience Rewarded
The Shower - Part One
Trying on Shoes (a fantasy)
Women Dancing
NSFW Pics & Videos
Danni's Friends in Daring Nude Galleries
Janelle Elson - Stairway To Janelle
Pornsaint Niya Yu

words escape me (or maybe not)
i've mentioned it before. people mean well by asking if i know anything and when He might be home but you cannot imagine how annoying, frustrating and just depressing it is to say the same thing over and over again. if i knew i swear i'd just blast it somewhere and then disappear so i wasn't having to field multiple conversations about what we were going to do or when i expected Him home exactly or if i was excited. let me just tell everyone now YES i will be excited not that i expect it to stop anyone from asking.
as a result of the frustration for lack of a better word, i haven't been all that motivated to write anything. i can't say that has changed either. i still look at the remaining letters and the lovely setup that Look it Up provided for me and nothing says oh yeah write me down and make folks diddle themselves. maybe later or maybe i'll go back to sleep. it is awfully early for me to be up on a saturday. just wanted y'all to know i was still breathing.
see ya
red

i want or the world is topsy turvy
i think i've been a little out of it in general because all the time she was gone i really didn't invest much energy into killing kittens. i walked around naked a lot well half naked in case someone knocked on the door and i needed to throw something on really quickly. i have just been kinda blah though. i want Him. i want Him to snuggle with and hear snoring in the bed next to me. i want to be thrown against the shower wall and struggle to keep my footing as He thrusts into me and makes me purr. i want lots of things that i can't have right now because He's not home. i watched The Unit this week and so shouldn't have. Hector's autopsy and memorial were just damn sad. i don't want to be the new chick who was just getting her relationship established only to have that person taken away with all the promise of the relationship shot to shit. i want to know how peaceful He is when He's sleeping soundly and how fast He'll move when i say i want a peanut butter cookie and a milk shake and some lo mein noodles at 3 in the morning in the 8th month of my pregnancy lol. i want the simple things and not so simple things and i want them yesterday but i'll settle for them tonight or tomorrow or the day after that. i want to know what His lips feel when He kisses me on the back of my neck. yeah that's what i want.

see jill--all i
know what I need baby
the lyrics above are from the last little bit of All I from Jill Scott's latest cd. i love Jill Scott always have and i do enjoy those last lines as they bring a smile to my face. i like it much more than track 9--title escapes me--i know what Jill was going for there but really if all the Black women vanished off the face of the earth Black men would just marry other women and we wouldn't know so what would be the point in that. however much i like the lyrics it also makes me sad. even though He knows all those things an would happily spank me whenever He felt a need He's not home so He can't do that right now. just made me a little wistful when i heard them and then a little moody.
a friend always jokes with me that i could just find a replacement Dom to fill in until He gets home but really you can't replace your Dom unless it is time for Him to be kicked to the curb. and by no means am i ready to let Him go anywhere. even if my need for a spanking was really that great and right now it's not, being sublimated into other areas, there isn't a person that i could think of that would be able to hurt me without needing it to go further and really i want the after care and closeness as well so that's really a non starter. i just keep waiting and keep hoping that things will just work themselves out eventually. sooner as opposed to later of course but eventually. oh well, what's going on with y'all?

alice wants to break the looking glass
i miss Him but try not to miss Him because that feels like i'm somehow not being as supportive of Him as i could be. i haven't written to Him in a month at least and i feel bad about that too. nothing has stopped me from doing so other than the pity party i have been having i guess. i'm not being totally productive lol but i'm not an absolute stump. i have been listening to a lot of new music and everytime i think i found something that sort of captures the mood i'm in i'm wrong. zhane's "off my mind" has been rambling in my brain and the song is fitting until it gets to the whole let's get back together/i forgive you for being an ass refrain. i'm digging jill scott's new cd but nothing on there is really what i'm thinking pretty much because she's breaking up or horny on the entire cd. not that i'm not horny ROFLMAO but that's not what i'm thinking of when i think of Him all the time. then there is amy winehouse's "some unholy war." love it but i can't really fight at His side, well i'm sure the government might consider it seeing as how they are not going to ever have enough soldiers to sustain the non war we are in. but at the end of the day i really couldn't be WITH Him that entire time because that's just not going to be productive for either of us.
i'm feeling a little sad i guess. i don't like it. i like being retardedly happy when it comes to Him. hopefully this funk passes soon. back to the simpsons now.

sugery goodness
The best of this week's blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #104? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you're all set.
This Week's PicksUrgent
"Feel the electricity from my fingers as I peel the damp cotton of your panties away from your sex, as I ease them to one side."
"She let her lips and tongue explore me all over."
Traveling the road, Sharing a load, Side by side"I guess this is not very sexy, my ranting about politics while playing with your cock."
Mr. Sugasm HimselfThe US Constitution Erotic Coloring Book
Editor's ChoiceSee also: Fleshbot's Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.
Sex Poetry
It's about priorities...
Orgasm - O - Vision
Fantasy Football
Halloween...
In Need - Original Illustrated Erotica
Indian Summer
New Underpants
The Pied Piper
Tight
Touch Me Babe
A walk in the Woods
Love Your Body
Abstinence Only Sex Ed On the Ropes?
Emilia
Happy HNT!
HNT the Menstrual Edition
I Feel Myself
Sinful Invitation
Sugar and Spice
2257 No More? Let the amateur porn flow!
Asian Woman Bound, Tickled and Forced To Cum
DamNation w/ The Reverend Bob Levy
NEW Super Sexy Designs!
Sex Toy Review : Under the Bed Restraints
Welcome to "Birds are smart" by Penny
Anal Training Part 2 -The Entering
Anniversary Present: A Fantasy
Cyber or real!?
Disobedience
Don't stop until I stop you
Face Slapping II
Flying
Hand Signals
L is for Look it Up
The Petting Zoo: Sex Camp, Day Two
Princess or Pervert?
Stiletto Mistress
Thoughts on Sex and Relationships
The Disclosure Dilemma
HNT - Half Naked Thighs
I Want to Fuck All of My Friends
A Prelude to an Eclectic Slut
Some Things Are Not Possible
Why was the sex so good?
Why We Aren't Really Swingers (part 1)

coming your way soon
Do you have an inclination for BDSM? created with QuizFarm.com | ||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
You scored as Submission It feels good to serve. A lack of control in the bedroom can be fun and relaxing. Being with a dominate person wouldn't be a bad idea.
|

you got served?
the power differential is a blissful thing with the right person and i am glad that i have found Him now despite this elongated separation. however i think that my textbook-i-ness is what also makes me able to serve Him better. i mean really how can you serve or take care of someone else when you can't take care of your own basic needs? and yes i choose to take care of Him which makes me somewhat different from a slave in that regard but my point is the same no matter your label. if you are incapable of standing on your own two feet how can you function when your sub gets sick, or your Dom is too tired or emotionally drained to tend to your mood swings, or whatever the scenario might be? an independent sub sounds like an oxymoron to some i know but He doesn't want me because i NEED Him to guide me, He wants me because i know how to handle my life but i WANT Him to be my guide in this life. He appreciates that i have stood like a strong little soldier and taken care of what needed to be done while He's gone.
we all have to come to these potential relationships with more than eagerness. it takes a lot of compromise and understanding and no small bit of self-direction to maintain what we build. we all know their are times when the D/s has to take a backseat to life and if you aren't built for life then the D/s will likely self-destruct. make sure that you are in order before you try to serve someone else or be served by anyone else. it's not fair to the party in question to not be at your best and truthfully i hate seeing two folks drift away from each other because they weren't solid enough in who they are to know they could seek comfort from the person who isn't supplying every single bit of their happiness but who would be there for us if we asked. just something to ponder on i guess. i surely plan on giving Him all of me but that means all of the good, the bad, the strong, the weak and everything in between and let Him mold that without looking at Him like my sole source of what is good in the world. i can serve Him with a smile because i can serve myself the same way.

nothing to say, too much on the brain
i'm not desperate for a spanking at the moment. i could really go for one but the reality of life means the great lord spanko is not available so i will just enjoy sitting on my tushy while i can. i daydreamed for a moment on friday that He would surprise me at the car a la one of my smutty stories from a while back. yeah no such surprise lol but it was nice to daydream. i'm going to grab a bite to eat and read so i can return this book to the library. if anything becomes coherent enough to scribble out here i'll be back. if not enjoy your sunday.

sugasm 99
The best of this week's blogs by the bloggers who blog them. Highlighting the top 3 posts as chosen by Sugasm participants. Want in Sugasm #100? Submit a link to your best post of the week using this form. Participants, repost the link list within a week and you're all set.
This Week's Picks
Don't think...
"As you read this, you reach for your cock and stroke it slowly, in anticipation of our eventual meeting."
"One centimetre at a time, he slid oh so slowly into me and then retreated out again."
We all have Secrets"I'll give you a little reminder - it was when he and his wife were making me cum so hard that I blacked out."
Mr. Sugasm HimselfEditor's Choice
See also: Fleshbot’s Sex Blog Roundup each Tuesday and Friday.
Erotic Writing and Experiences
Better than Cocktails
The Birthday Box
Burlesque: Getting Ready
Dab
Eponymous
Heaven
I assigned Kis Lee the word 'resentment'
In the city lights
Loaded
A Much Needed Climax
Symplexity Presents: A Wild Ride
BDSM & FetishArrival: Sex Camp, Day One
Boy Toy
Catalina loves Guest Cock
Counting the Days
Dizzy
Gloved
M is for Manhandled
Movie, tit whipping, and anal sex
No Big Deal...Or Not?
Happy 2nd Blogiversary to Always Aroused Girl!
Fleshlight Review
A Nawty Mouz's Sexy Library of Kinky Linkies!
Violet Wands
The 100 Unsexiest Men Of 2007
I think we broke my dick...
Not everything has a pre-emptive strike...
Now what?
Radical Fucking Honesty
Sex Work And Religion: The Pagan And The Jew
NSFW Pics & VideosAntea & Christina (errotica archives)
Death or an invitation?
Friends, Frenemy's, Half-Naked Peeps! Lend me your ears!
Half-Nekkid Public Exposure
Monique Alexander Nude
Monika - Chat Noir

all quiet on the bored subbie front
i've been dreaming a lot lately too. mostly about the two of us in bed asleep, no scenes, no long vacations filled with sexual depravity. just us in bed pressed against each other safe in the knowledge that He was home and safe and that in about 25 minutes children would burst through the door and invade the half naked sanctuary we had established. gonna have to work out the sleeping situation as i really don't like clothes overnight and that would not be attractive to Littlest Soldier. besides i don't want to be waddling down the aisle so we'll probably have to sleep in something to stop those midnight oopsies when searching for a condom is just not fun and damn i'm knocked up moments from happening. ahh well let me go eat my very late breakfast.
i don't know if i took this test before but yippee i'm 100 percent spankable now
Your Score: SPANK SLUT
You are 100% spankable!
You loved to be spanked, good and hard, with any available object. You will take it as hard as anyone is willing to give it. You are probably guilty of provoking your lover into spanking you, by flagrant misbehavior or verbal challenges. Hell, your ass is probably red right now. We wouldn�t be surprised if you are standing at the keyboard, because it hurts to sit down.
Link: The How Spankable Are You Test written by bazz22 on OkCupid Free Online Dating, home of the The Dating Persona Test |

silly stuff
You Should Rule Jupiter |
Huge and hot, Jupiter is a quickly turning planet with short days and intense gravity. You are perfect to rule Jupiter, because you are both dominant and kind. You have great strength and confidence, but you never abuse your power. You are always right. Even if you make mistakes, you compensate for them... before anyone knows it. Headstrong and ambitious, you always have a goal in mind. You are optimistic and believe thing things will always work out. |
Your Preppy Name Is... |
But most people know you as Corkie |

inner demons=better people/product
and i believe that when we fight off our demons and get past them we are usually better off for it. but do we have to let people suffer so long to get there? is it a matter of we know someone isn't ready so there is no need to push? or is it a fear that the work produced will somehow suffer when they aren't looking for approval through the eyes of others? i'm not sure really no matter how many times i've tossed it around in my head. i'm not perfect by any means. i have had an assortment of issues that i've mostly dealt with at this point lol but i can't say it's had a profound impact on my life right now. i work a little harder on some things than others and i sometimes do more than i might otherwise for people who remind of where i used to be. but no one is watching me with adoring eyes. well one person will be lol but not millions of folks.
when are the demons too much ladies and gents? when do we force someone to change or leave them to their own devices?

da da da da da da da
i love the library, grabbed a bunch of books to look over before i decide which ones to buy and enjoyed amy winehouse on the way home. she got some issues but the cd is nice. i was kinda hoping kanye and 50 went double nickel so i could get rid of both of them but oh well. mostly i've just been feeling kinda crappy and wondering what was wrong with my car. i dropped it off today and missed lunch as a result but 100 bucks later all i needed was a new battery and it was ready to go when i got off work. i even did something nice for mom before i came home and took some necessary drugs. they did let me drive a nice shiny sante fe which short of having me feeling like i was up entirely too high was nice. i didn't drive it like i would my baby because well it isn't mine but i might test drive it when i finally decide to get rid of my car.
other than not feeling good, i've been just kinda blah. i've been playing on my dolly site (http://www.stardoll.com) and entertaining myself with that. i haven't been able to tell Him that i passed yet which kinda sucks. hopefully we can talk this weekend. all right i have a new letter picked out for smut--the letter m--as soon as i get another burst of inspiration--maybe i'll watch mr and mrs smith--i'll get to work on it. okay see ya and Night Owl i hope you feel better.

celebrate good times come on
after a semi painful wait i found out that i passed my exam this afternoon. i won't get my actual score till next week but who cares at this point i passed. that means i don't have to take it over and i don't have to feel like a complete retard for not having passed the first time i took it. of course the exam itself has little to do with my job and has no actual bearing on my intelligence but it sucks to high heaven while you are waiting for it to come back. unfortunately for me the primary office person is not there this week so that is why we are in a holding pattern on the actual score. but woo woo woo.

i've been a bad bad girl
okay so not really and hold on for a second let me see something. everytime i say i've been a bad bad girl i think of the video right above this. my days of breaking a boy just because i can have long since faded. i don't deal with men that i can break or easily manipulate anymore. it's actually boring being able to get exactly what you want constantly. well at least it was for me. it's fun for like a week and then it dawned on me that the boy in question would do anything i said including some things i'd never do for him so i'd look to replace him with someone that would prove to be a bigger challenge. of course this was all about a decade ago at this point but yeah i still think of that song. thanks to one of my friends i also have another song stuck in my head. i think i posted it when it came up around christmas time cause it was hilarious but feel free to laugh again if you like.
other than that i really have been behaving. except for the thirty minutes that i was laughing because a sorority sister announced her pregnancy--i didn't laugh in her face that would have been rude--and she is just not maternally minded so we are all wondering what will happen now. i still don't have my scores back yet but what can you do. hopefully they will come in tomorrow and give me some resolution one way or the other. thanks to everyone that has said you have passed don't worry about it but i'm a little anal and yes i know the various ways that can be misinterpreted lol. nothing i can do about the scores right now i just want em back now. i think i'd like a box now lol. damn military service.
see ya
red
oh my god, i forgot to share what my friend told me. he knows all about me and the kink that is my life and in having a conversation about football i told him about this recurring fantasy i have about Roaming Soldier and the NFL season lol. all my friend said was you need some Orbit gum cause you are a dirty dirty girl. that made me crack up. so here's an orbit commercial for you.

smut all over the world
of course you can always check out sugasm and well i was about to type blogstormz but it appears to have disappeared into the great beyond. ahh well, that sucks but there are a number of toplists out there that might be of interest to you as well. but take heart i have gotten the smutty vibe back and will likely be updating you soon enough. be blessed and if you were off today i hope it as pleasant for you.
always His girl
red

okay maybe sleeping is overrated
as soon as i got there, we parted ways and i ended up on a train/bus to an amusement park. my niece was there, she was like four instead of sixteen but still there, looking adorable and i was talking to Roaming Soldier but i couldn't see His face. someone that i liked to flirt with was there too but he was the one sitting with me not RS. so we go to the park and everyone is having fun and i am very confused but am enjoying the flirting so i continue it. we take the kids to get some food and have to stop them from eating on the floor. we had been arguing once we went out for food, me and the other women there, about where to go and how to get there because they kept getting lost and getting on my nerves. then all of a sudden flirty starts getting on my nerves and says something rude that makes me upset. i want to leave but of course i didn't drive plus my niece is having a blast so it would be mean to take her out. so i'm sitting there looking frustrated and then RS walks over to my end of the table and He leaned over and kissed me. He told me that everything would be okay after He broke the kiss and then i woke up.
it was so odd and that's what i get for going to bed on time lol. see y'all
red

insomnia loves me
nothing is really going on here. i hoped to be sleeping like a normal person post exam but my body hasn't decided to play catch up yet. instead i spent the last twenty or so minutes cleaning out my blog roll. with the exception of people that i have some personal connection to i deleted nearly all the blogs that hadn't been updated within the last three months. most were at five months or longer and i hate that blogs go dark but i also hate clicking on them and seeing nothing new. i figured you did as well so thus some changes were made. i also added some new blogs, mostly to the kinky list, because as a community we do well when we support one another lol. there are things that some of the new links discuss that could be greatly helpful to you and others have been linking to me for quite some time and i figured i should return the favor. if for some reason a blog couldn't be reached anymore i also deleted the blogs to save folks a bit of frustration.
i've been tossing some things over in my brain tonight that i really need to talk to Him about but i haven't been able to do that yet which totally sucks. beyond that i'm okay i guess. been watching way too much silly television (ie robot chicken) and missing Him. i perused a book called how to survive the bridal wave (that period of time that everyone else you know is getting married) which was funny and would have been front and center on my bookshelf about three years ago. now it's interesting but not something i have to have. instead i've been more invested in looking at a career girl's guide to becoming a stepmother. i can't say that i'm super career girl but it has been giving me something else to do. of course in these moments i start thinking about other things as well.
i wrote a whole lot of crap just now and deleted it. i need to talk to Him about that first. y'all have a nice night.
red

the storm is over now
so while i was in recovery mode--still in recovery mode but the first few hours post test is what i mean--i went and watched the last chapters of trapped in the closet by r. kelly. he needs therapy, long-term intense therapy, and jesus and drugs lol. it was hilarious but he was so wrong for it not wrapping up the damn plot line. now i really do think he's gonna make this an ongoing saga that will just release more chapters until he gets bored and doesn't like the stories anymore. if you liked the first twelve by all means watch the new ones cause it's funny to see what he comes up with but don't expect a stunning conclusion cause you aint getting it. i was about to write a blog called i hate r. kelly's ass but i was too busy laughing to write it out.
okay now that i've told you i'm still alive and that the test is over i am going to go flip through bridal magazines and watch the futurama marathon.

hee hee hee hee
Apparently that explains a LOT about me. Wonder if that would make my exes feel better about their umm inability to make me sleepy?

project funny
"He always does a butt check," says Klum, who returns the favor. "I like him in jeans. I like him in anything. I like him without anything."
Which almost makes it obvious how they keep their relationship hot.
Says Seal: "It keeps itself hot."
okay i'm sorry that's the cutest thing i've seen a married couple say in lord knows when. here's a link the whole article if you want to SEE IT (umm click see it in ase you were confused).
the studying is going well, i'm well beyond passing now but i am still going to drill until probably tuesday and just review a little bit on wednesday. hope everyone is okay.
red

i know i don't know you, but i want you so bad

it's quiet over this way
ETA i just HAD to add this as oh my god this whole trapped in the closet mess is freaking hilarious. chapters 13-22 will hit ifc.com on the 13/14 and the dvd itself will come out the week i take my exam. i might treat myself if i am up to giggling after the test.

motivation
on another note, i have started my healthier eating kick. wasn't so bad really. had some snacks that were low cal and properly proportioned. i need to work on making better dinners for myself but the lunch i had was great and also low calorie. i need to up the water intake from non existent to some lol and get back to working out. all in due time. the rest of this year is about taking better care of me so i can take better care of everyone else. okay i'm done, y'all be good.

gonna wash that gray right out of my hair

steal some cover share some skin
ps am i the only person that has no desire to see j ho and her hubby in a movie? yeah that's right i called her j ho.
If You Were Born in 2893... |
Your Name Would Be: Galt Laif And You Would Be: The Destroyer of Earth |
Your Mind is NC-17 Rated |
You're mind is so filthy... you should should be washing every part of you out with soap. If your thoughts can go dirty, they do. Almost everything is NC-17 to you! |
You Follow Your Heart |
You're romantic, sentimental, and emotional. You tend to fall in (and out of) love very quickly. Some may call you fickle, but you can't help where your emotions take you. You've definitely broken a few hearts, but you're not a heartbreaker by nature. Your intentions are always good, even if they change with the wind |
You Are 28% Spoiled |
You're barely spoiled. You may have some nice things, but you never let them go to your head. You appreciate each gift you're given - and you don't dwell on what you "deserve" to have. |
You Are A Relationship Rescuer! |
You don't ruin relationships, if anything you keep them together The key: you respect yourself and your guy. Which goes further than you might think. You simply treat your guy how you would like to be treated... the old golden rule. And in return, he treats you like gold - or at least tries. And how perfect is that |
You Will Be a Cool Parent |
You seem to naturally know a lot about parenting, and you know what kids need. You can tell when it's time to let kids off the hook, and when it's time to lay down the law. While your parenting is modern and hip, it's not over the top. You know that there's nothing cool about a parent who acts like a teenager... or a drill sergeant! |
You Are A Woman! |
Congratulations, you've made it to adulthood. You're emotionally mature, responsible, and unlikely to act out. You accept that life is hard - and do your best to keep things upbeat. This makes you the perfect girlfriend... or even wife! |
Your Wrestler Name Is... |

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