all quiet on the home front

Sunday, May 27, 2007 2 comments
there is nothing going on here tonight. i have enjoyed my time off immensely and yesterday after lunch i took in a couple of movies. i rarely go to the movies so this was a treat. i watched pirates first--which is long so don't go get a huge drink if you have a weak bladder because you will need to go at least once--i loved it. i didn't watch all of part 2 so there was a bit of catch up to be made but really all of the different storylines interwove quite nicely for me. i didn't like a piece of the end but that's because it just seem so wrong. i won't say more than that because some of you might be going to see it but really go see it at the theaters s you can enjoy the lovely sound system. and if you can go early enough in the day to avoid the die hard pirates fans and the plethora of quiet children that followed me to shrek the third. now shrek was cute it just wasn't as engaging as the first two had been. the thing is though when i thought back over certain scenes i still laughed just as hard at home as i had at the theater so it could have just been a let down after the build up that came during pirates. and i loved how they played on some other fairy tales to make this shrek. the end was entirely too cute and i had to order myself a present from build a bear from the movie. i also gave my mommy a card which she still hasn't said anything about. that kinda hurts as i wrote a lot a the back of it but what can you do with other people. anyhoo i wasn't expecting the weekend to get much more interesting as we had a mommy nail run to make but it did.

when i got home today after studying and feeling smart because i understood what i was reviewing i found three packages sitting in front of my door that contained about 10 of the movies that i lost in the move and two new seasons of series i loved. yeah baby. i haven't watched any of them yet but i like em i like em. no word from Roaming Soldier but that is typical for a week or two stretch. just hope He can say hi soon. other than that enjoy the meme below. i'm gonna finish my cookies.

1. Ever kissed a blonde haired, blue eyed person?
only baby droolia cause it makes her giggle

2. Can you see a phone right now?

3. What are you listening to?
theme music

4. Where is it coming from?

5. Last thing you ate?
tombstone pizza

6. Last thing you saw on TV?
law and order svu

7. Who was the last person other than family you saw?

8. Song stuck in your head?
nothing at the moment

9. Last movie you went to?
double feature, pirates of the caribbean at world's end and shrek the third

10. Do you have a tan right now?
i have a permanent tan called melanin

11. Do you dance while getting ready for... whatever?

12. What are you wearing?

13. What is the most people you've been naked in front of?
they're all dead now so it doesn't matter (ok so they aren't dead but it was an accident and i like to think they are dead)

14. Have you ever watched the movie Rockstar?
i saw half of it when it was in the middle of night and i couldn't sleep

15. Have you ever taken a bath/shower while you were drunk or high?
once or twice

16. Do you like techno?
not at all

17. Has anyone ever walked in on you while having sex?
unfortunately yes

18. What is one country you want to go to?
South Africa

19. Have you ever made out on a plane?
not at all

20. Have you ever jumped up on stage when a band was playing?
i don't think so but some concerts are hazy

21. Do you have leadership skills?

22. Are you musically inclined?
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

23. Have you ever sat on a roof and looked at stars?

24. Ever done that while talking on the phone to a...person/loved one?

25. Does the song Stairway To Heaven make you sad?
Umm no

26. Do you have alcohol in your room?
rubbing alcohol in the bathroom is about it

27. Who was the last person to make you laugh?
Night Owl

28. Do you have any instruments in your room?
do tambourines in the closet count

30. I say SHOTGUN, you say...
do the jerk baby


witness protection is scary

Thursday, May 24, 2007 1 comment
well i disappeared now didn't i? last week was hectic and i was still on call which i hate lol and then thankfully it was over. which is fine in the grand scheme of things but last friday was the anniversary of my father's death. it's always a weird day. some years i'm okay and others were like friday and i was really ready to just climb in bed and hide from people. which is what i did all day saturday. sunday i had a meeting and then i went back to bed. i've been on vacation this week and that's good but it's given me way too much time to think and miss my dad and Him. haven't done much beyond get some groceries and get into an interesting argument with my mother. it's been kinda lonely all things considered but not as bad as it could be i guess. i know He loves me just like my daddy did but not having either one of them home sucks. okay moving on to slightly less depressing things.

i colored my gray hair today. i have tons of it and have since i was a pre-teen. they say it's a sign of good luck but right now it's just annoying. plus my blowout burgundy was turning more of an icky brown mixed with dark brown roots and my interspersing of gray. so now i'm back to my loreal feria preferred color lol. i also made dinner for my mother and wished my brother happy birthday at an appropriate hour. it wasn't a bad day just missed the men in my life including that boy who got a little older this year. i mean he's been with me for nearly three full decades so we have shared a lot of good and not so good times together. i'm not unhappy with my life right now i'm just not feeling like my firing on all cylinder's self. oh well if you want to see some cool digitally created graphics check out the website below. have a nice night, i'll be back soon.


counting mixed blessings

Sunday, May 13, 2007 2 comments
odd post title i know. it's been an odd weekend. friday was good, we had our retreat and came back to the office to mill around till i came home. i'm doing crisis coverage right now and thus far nothing major has happened even though i do look at the phone with a bit of foreboding. saturday started off well. i woke up early after going to bed massively early for me. then i got a well meaning phone call but it just threw my brain into a proverbial tizzy. i actively avoid the news about iraq when i can help it. that's the safest thing for me on most days because either i get worried or i get pissed and neither is a productive state of mind for me. i have to find things to settle myself or else i just get quiet. i tried to calm my nerves and it worked to a degree. i wasn't crying once i went and clicked on the article for myself. in case you have no idea what i'm talking about yesterday morning a patrol unit was ambushed. four soldiers were killed along with an interpreter and three others were captured and/or are missing. i do understand that there are tens of thousands of troops in iraq fighting right now but when even one of them belongs to you on some level you do not rest well until you know for certain that the report isn't discussing your soldier. so while i haven't heard from His family or my girlfriend that He is among the missing or dead it's hard to keep blocking that from my brain and keep moving like this is a normal day. there was nothing normal about yesterday.

i left home briefly, thinking about taking a long drive but that was nixed by the ridiculous cost of gas right now. instead i went on the errand i was supposed to go onto in the first place. i ran to hobby lobby and got some scrapbook glue so i could work on a project for one of my sorority sisters. first i thought we have too many pictures and paper and not enough pages. but of course i managed to work that out. then i was thinking okay i over conserved because i had leftover pages. well i was wrong on that too. it came out nice i think. we'll see what the recipient thinks. so i was feeling good about that and was nicely distracted for about two hours. i didn't touch the other things i grabbed in hobby lobby. i didn't touch the big book of supplies for making a love/wedding scrapbook or the similarly large book for making some for kids. i bought both of them with my brain in firm denial that anything other than what we had been planning would take place. Roaming Soldier is coming home, He is going to spank and fuck me into a stupor repeatedly, He is going to make me a good Catholic wife, and knock me up until we get the number of kids we want. yep that's what is going to happen. and i held onto that thought as long as possible. then it got later my brain started doing weird things. nervous subbie is not a happy state of mind to be in. i started tossing around all the different ways i needed Him and why i needed Him and what on earth was i supposed to do without Him or even the possibility of Him. all bad things to ponder before bed so of course i wanted to talk to Him to make sure that He was okay. that didn't happen of course so i went to bed late and slept fitfully.

i woke up and was happy because at least no one called with bad news. i fixed my mother a huge breakfast and gave her an absolutely adorable card if i do say so myself. and i talked to my younger brother--the father to be--and that made me smile. he's going out to find a lovely gift for his wife that will end up being a good gift for their kid as well. embarrassing once they get older but good gift. it made me smile and start thinking about Roaming Soldier's and mine imaginary passel of children. thinking about where we would put that many similar gifts for our kids. thinking about how many painkillers it will take to get that many kids out of my body and stop me from taking out Roaming Soldier. it gave me a lift that nothing else could have or did over the last twenty-four hours. i'm likely to literally be in tears when i hear from Him again but my brain has switched back into the necessary mode to handle this again.

one day if you stop by and the site looks dark, send me an email. it means He's home and all the daydreaming is finally a reality. but somehow i think He'll want me to entertain you all with something from time to time so it will likely just be a brief hiatus. okay i'm going to go flip through the scrapbooks now and write the letter i didn't start last night.


the sweetest thing i've ever known

Friday, May 11, 2007 No comments
...was like the kiss on a collar bone.....

that's what i woke up this morning thinking. and i mean i woke up this morning lol. i didn't wake up with my normal grumpy the hell time is it please let me sleep for 30 more minutes and i promise i'll get up mantra. i woke up, brushed my teeth, took my shower and was getting dressed when i realized it. but i was so focused on the end of a really sweet dream that i couldn't really stop myself. it was blissful ESPECIALLY after sucking on peyton's finger just damn ewwww. off tangent if you hear of a really tall Black man pimp slapping peyton somewhere know that Roaming Soldier did not appreciate his appearance in my dream one little bit lol. that whole conversation was weird but i digress. i'm not going to share this dream because honestly i want Him to hear about it first. once He knows then i'll touch base with y'all about it. but as weird as the last dream was, this one was all things sweet and light and i woke up feeling loved which is an amazing feeling if you have never experienced it. could have just been my brain rewarding me for finally going to bed on time and waking up on time but i will take it each and every day if it means i wake up like that.

i do need to get in the bed now. i need to write Him a letter to send with His cards and stuff since i can't send myself. well i could but knowing our military i'd end up four bases away from His and wondering what happened to all the paddles and things that were packed with me. okay that's not fair. it's not the military that has us all screwed up over there. it's that "commander guy" who is to blame. that is taking away from my high though. mailing myself might be more interesting if it didn't require a transatlantic voyage and had potty facilities OH and if i knew for certain once i got there they'd leave us alone for at least an hour or twelve. okay listen to lauryn hill and you'll get the title and first line if you don't already know.

love ya


dream interpretation stat

Monday, May 07, 2007 2 comments
okay i can't blame this on what i ate cause i went to bed well after i ate. i can't blame this on something i was watching because really i was watching cartoons. this was just apparently a weird dream night. at first i was either dating jerry springer or dating robin thicke and was being interviewed by jerry springer because paula patton had called the show pissed off. now i think jerry is a sweet old man and as white guys go robin thicke is kinda purty but neither one of them are on my wouldn't it be nice to date now radar.

the next part of the dream was equally bizarre. i was on the camera crew for flavor of love season 1 and i was in charge of following new york and someone else around. all i kept thinking was this poor idiot just doesn't know what's good for her and she needs to raise up out of here. well that and i'm not remotely sure how the hell any of this is going to be usable footage. i went out for a smoke break and never came back. that led to the last part of the dream.

i was on a train in tokyo. i was confused as hell though and thought i was going to miss an appointment. i got off at this station and walked over to the help desk to figure out where i was supposed to be going. betty white was working the help desk, yes THE betty white, and she asked me how she could help me. so i told her and she said oh honey you are just flustered go upstairs and get something to eat. so i went up the cafeteria and ran into this lovely chocolate man that i don't know from adam but who was apparently looking for me. we hugged and then went through the line to get something to eat. as we were checking out i bumped into peyton manning. yeah that peyton manning. choco cutie introduces me like i'm some random girl who doesn't watch sports lol and i say yeah i know who he is we were in school in tennessee at the same time and i lived in indiana while he was playing. peyton jokes that i must be following him and now i caught him. i indignantly say i'm not looking for you and if i was trying to catch you then i would have done so by now. he shook his finger at me a la dikembe mutumbo and it got close enough to my mouth that i started sucking it and didn't stop till i saw that look that men get when their little quarterback gets all ready to hike the ball. i let it go with a pop and he looked confused before he said if i get divorced it's your fault. choco friend smirked and took me off to a table and i woke up.

da hell is all of that? can someone PLEASE help me out here? really now this was weird i mean i HATE peyton manning. i'm glad he finally won but mainly for tony dungy and because if he choked this time indiana would have imploded lol. there's no way in creation i'd suck on anything peyton ever gave me. just eww.


painkillers are your friends

Sunday, May 06, 2007 1 comment
last week was a pretty good week all things considered. we finally got some stuff straightened out at work. we will not be so incredibly short staffed in the fall that i feel the need to slap someone upside the head. there are some other things going on that i'm not happy with but we can't get everything we want when we want it. of course i've known that for at least a year now as i have wanted Him home and instead have had to be content with letters, emails and instant messages. the periods in which we haven't been able to talk have gotten longer and more difficult to tolerate on a day to day basis. but those moments in which He's all mine again, no matter how brief they are, have been incredibly wonderful. over the last two weeks, those moments were more frequent than they have been in quite a while. after that long conversation on Tuesday that made lots of men smile, He was able to talk to me again on Thursday. couldn't even tell you what we talked about at that point but it made me very happy just to be still and bask in our feelings. those are GREAT moments.

which is probably why i wasn't as cranky as i normally get when the pain is about to hit like a ton of bricks. i knew it was coming because i get testier when i'm driving and i just start wanting lots of unnecessary things to eat. sometimes are better than others but really for about 5 days i just am eternally grateful that i have really strong prescriptions that i can ingest as i need to and that really do make sitting upright possible. for some reason the dose this morning is taking longer than i would like to kick in but i'm still able to do this instead of cursing apples and snakes and stupid people for doing stuff they shouldn't have done. well if you believe that's the cause lol. i have something i should be getting dressed now but i have some time so i'm going to sit here and remember that some nice man in the desert loves the mess out of me.


400 pages or how to make a battalion smile

Tuesday, May 01, 2007 2 comments
it has seemed like forever since i talked to Him longer than a few minutes. it always seems like forever though so that's not a completely accurate characterization of what is going on. anyhoo, this morning when i logged on to my yahoo account i had series of messages full of kisses from Him. we had missed each other while i was tossing and turning before settling down to dream about Him. i had time to kill that morning so i hoped i'd be able to talk to Him then but nope lol. instead i worked on a presentation i needed to give over the lunch hour. He logged on right before i had to go, lol of course, but i had to be a good professional so i went and did the presentation and was glad that it went well. luckily for me though we got another two hours alone, well sorta alone lol, to chat and be silly and make fun of our friends. i mentioned something about a red bottom which made Him smile hard apparently. one of His instructors asked why He was smiling and i tried to be polite about it but the man was nosy so i said just tell the man that i reminded You of the story where the nice man gets a blow job under water. if you were wondering how to make a battalion smile just have someone you love repeat that out loud and see what happens. if i wasn't feeling good after that presentation i was definitely feeling good after that bit of information was relayed to me. okay not everyone was smiling. pillar did not appreciate that reference at all. he and night owl don't read the smut because the characters sound too much like the two of us and that just makes them get massive headaches. that's funny to me and Him but not so much to them so it's not something we discuss lol.

so i covered the battalion thing. i'm sure you are wondering that the page count is about. the blog has passed 400 posts a while back. this is number 446 i think. 400 pages is the ongoing electronic journal of sorts that i have been keeping of our conversations since He left. i said before i would be okay until we hit 1000 pages and i do still stand by that but i'd adore the world at large if He was able to get home before we hit 500. i won't hold my breath but i will keep some part of my body crossed just in case.

okay i'm going to see what mommy is stirring up for dinner. we had the best fajitas from this frozen bag yesterday, very chili's like, and ended up destroying the bag so i got some more today at the store along with the chicken variety the company makes. either way, good eats tonight and a nice long conversation with my Daddy today. a girl is awfully happy.

see ya