okay maybe sleeping is overrated

Wednesday, August 29, 2007 No comments
so i went to bed late last night but not super late for me. as reward for me getting more rest i had a very bizarre dream. i was in a cabin with my mother and brother and needed to go shower so i could go to campus. my brother walked me out to the facilities and went into another shower area while i went into the "girls" area and ran into one of the girls from my doctoral cohort. we looked down and screamed which brought my brother over to see what had us screaming and there was a man in drag handcuffed under the grate. my brother shook his head and walked off as i was saying call the cops. cuffy said leave him alone and let him take his punishment like a big girl. my friend and brother "reminded" me of who cuffy was and then i got dressed and we walked the mile or so to campus.

as soon as i got there, we parted ways and i ended up on a train/bus to an amusement park. my niece was there, she was like four instead of sixteen but still there, looking adorable and i was talking to Roaming Soldier but i couldn't see His face. someone that i liked to flirt with was there too but he was the one sitting with me not RS. so we go to the park and everyone is having fun and i am very confused but am enjoying the flirting so i continue it. we take the kids to get some food and have to stop them from eating on the floor. we had been arguing once we went out for food, me and the other women there, about where to go and how to get there because they kept getting lost and getting on my nerves. then all of a sudden flirty starts getting on my nerves and says something rude that makes me upset. i want to leave but of course i didn't drive plus my niece is having a blast so it would be mean to take her out. so i'm sitting there looking frustrated and then RS walks over to my end of the table and He leaned over and kissed me. He told me that everything would be okay after He broke the kiss and then i woke up.

it was so odd and that's what i get for going to bed on time lol. see y'all


insomnia loves me

Monday, August 27, 2007 1 comment
howdy folks,

nothing is really going on here. i hoped to be sleeping like a normal person post exam but my body hasn't decided to play catch up yet. instead i spent the last twenty or so minutes cleaning out my blog roll. with the exception of people that i have some personal connection to i deleted nearly all the blogs that hadn't been updated within the last three months. most were at five months or longer and i hate that blogs go dark but i also hate clicking on them and seeing nothing new. i figured you did as well so thus some changes were made. i also added some new blogs, mostly to the kinky list, because as a community we do well when we support one another lol. there are things that some of the new links discuss that could be greatly helpful to you and others have been linking to me for quite some time and i figured i should return the favor. if for some reason a blog couldn't be reached anymore i also deleted the blogs to save folks a bit of frustration.

i've been tossing some things over in my brain tonight that i really need to talk to Him about but i haven't been able to do that yet which totally sucks. beyond that i'm okay i guess. been watching way too much silly television (ie robot chicken) and missing Him. i perused a book called how to survive the bridal wave (that period of time that everyone else you know is getting married) which was funny and would have been front and center on my bookshelf about three years ago. now it's interesting but not something i have to have. instead i've been more invested in looking at a career girl's guide to becoming a stepmother. i can't say that i'm super career girl but it has been giving me something else to do. of course in these moments i start thinking about other things as well.

i wrote a whole lot of crap just now and deleted it. i need to talk to Him about that first. y'all have a nice night.



the storm is over now

Sunday, August 26, 2007 No comments
okay so that is reaching a bit but i'm two days past my test now and my brain isn't as mushy nor am i feeling so crappy about my total lack of intelligence. the test felt horrible. i mean i knew stuff and would be feeling good and then go what the hell is this. but apparently that's what everyone feels like so i don't feel too bad about that anymore. plus i spoke with two people i know and love and understand this process which made me feel better too. now it's a waiting game until i get my scores. keep your fingers crossed for me.

so while i was in recovery mode--still in recovery mode but the first few hours post test is what i mean--i went and watched the last chapters of trapped in the closet by r. kelly. he needs therapy, long-term intense therapy, and jesus and drugs lol. it was hilarious but he was so wrong for it not wrapping up the damn plot line. now i really do think he's gonna make this an ongoing saga that will just release more chapters until he gets bored and doesn't like the stories anymore. if you liked the first twelve by all means watch the new ones cause it's funny to see what he comes up with but don't expect a stunning conclusion cause you aint getting it. i was about to write a blog called i hate r. kelly's ass but i was too busy laughing to write it out.

okay now that i've told you i'm still alive and that the test is over i am going to go flip through bridal magazines and watch the futurama marathon.


hee hee hee hee

Monday, August 20, 2007 3 comments
Visit lustsign.com to learn your Lustsign!

Apparently that explains a LOT about me. Wonder if that would make my exes feel better about their umm inability to make me sleepy?


project funny

Sunday, August 19, 2007 No comments
i am a huge fan of bravo's reality tv stuff. well two of them, top chef and project runway. every now and then there is a recipe i want to try and i'm always amazed at what the fashion folks whip up. anyway i was scrolling the net tonight, no surprise there, and found this quote from project runway host heidi klum about her husband seal.

Her husband, musician Seal, also chips in around the house, whipping up traditional English breakfasts of eggs and beans. And they take time for each other, keeping the romance alive - aided by her tight-fitting jeans.

"He always does a butt check," says Klum, who returns the favor. "I like him in jeans. I like him in anything. I like him without anything."

Which almost makes it obvious how they keep their relationship hot.

Says Seal: "It keeps itself hot."

okay i'm sorry that's the cutest thing i've seen a married couple say in lord knows when. here's a link the whole article if you want to SEE IT (umm click see it in ase you were confused).

the studying is going well, i'm well beyond passing now but i am still going to drill until probably tuesday and just review a little bit on wednesday. hope everyone is okay.



i know i don't know you, but i want you so bad

Saturday, August 11, 2007 1 comment
yeah my brain is going random on the maroon 5 lyrics. that's track 9 on their first cd--songs about jane--not remember if there was a real jane but you kick ass if you exist because that cd is still fierce many moons after it was released. i have been listening to it again the last few days and it made me think about Roaming Soldier. that just gave me a shiver lol. i have never been alone in a room with the man that has totally rearranged my life, my priorities, my wants and dreams. every time we thought, maybe this weekend--maybe in a few weeks--maybe by Christmas, we were bitch slapped by the cold hand of reality. normally a good slap on the ass is well hey all good lol but when it's not being delivered out of love then it's just kind of hollow. i'll admit my writing has improved quite a bit because of Him. my imagination has dug into all the unexplored nooks and crannies in my brain BUT that's left a few other nooks and crannies left empty and needy. needy really isn't the right word, more like hungry. i know more about Him than i've known about any man ever in the nearly 32 years i've been on this planet. but short of His rather amazing stature i could bump into Him on the street and not even recognize His smile. that seems so crazy to me when i say it or write it as the case may be but it also has never felt more perfectly right and necessary before in my life. i want to cease on the possibility He has gifted me with. which is what led me to the last song on the cd. sweetest goodbye is the name the song and it just made me think of the retarded nights i've spent crying myself to sleep since He's been gone and the afternoon both of us were too shell shocked by His departure to say much of anything like we were nervous teenagers again. regardless of the sanity of the act-the behavior and emotion hasn't waned in the nearly 18 months He's been in my life. so i'm posting these for you to listen to get where my head was at. had to get them on youtube as imeem is editing the hell out of things lately and you wouldn't get the point at all. both are just still photos with the songs playing but you need to hear adam's voice to understand the point.


it's quiet over this way

Monday, August 06, 2007 No comments
it's been a busy weekend. i'm doing my crisis coverage which has been relatively tame. hopefully it stays that way over the next few days as there are a billion and one other things that need to have happen over that time too. the studying has been eye opening. i took my first post-test and tanked it lol. wasn't even close but it made me focus on the areas that i screwed up and post-test two is on track to be a pass. i'm going to hope in the shower and climb into bed with another review section as i prepare to go to bed. it's not like i'm remotely sleepy anyway and showering tonight will help save some time in the morning when the effect of the not sleepy now is kicking me squarely in the ass. have y'all been watching rock of love? it's not as bad a train wreck as flavor of love but it's just weird to watch. scott baio is 45 and single is much funnier. i did get to talk to Roaming Soldier the other day. well it was like 2 in the morning on Saturday but it was good. we talked about family and stuff before He had to go and made me go to bed. which i should start working on now too. y'all be good and keep me and my studying in your prayers lol. then maybe i can get back to the smut.

ETA i just HAD to add this as oh my god this whole trapped in the closet mess is freaking hilarious. chapters 13-22 will hit ifc.com on the 13/14 and the dvd itself will come out the week i take my exam. i might treat myself if i am up to giggling after the test.



Thursday, August 02, 2007 3 comments
for those of you that visited my 360 blog lately you might be concerned about the blast that's posted there but they are a few lyrics from the song that i'm about to post in a second. just as a warning the song is a bit angry sounding rap music for those of you that don't like that kind of thing. i'm on the final countdown to taking my exam and this has been keeping me smiling as i bust through review after review. i'm a day behind on starting the exams but i finished the last section tonight in a marathon (well technically yesterday considering the time) session and was amazed by how much of it i remembered just outright and how much i disagreed with when i got to the section on the effects of divorce--hazard of doing your dissertation on that topic i guess. regardless that review gave me a needed "i feel smart" boost because this test is slightly overwhelming. trying to balance that with work, missing Him and the Littlest Soldier and taking care of mom and myself and i feel like i need a long nap. i'm taking the day off after my exam and maybe the monday after that but i'm not certain on that one yet.

on another note, i have started my healthier eating kick. wasn't so bad really. had some snacks that were low cal and properly proportioned. i need to work on making better dinners for myself but the lunch i had was great and also low calorie. i need to up the water intake from non existent to some lol and get back to working out. all in due time. the rest of this year is about taking better care of me so i can take better care of everyone else. okay i'm done, y'all be good.