Adam Levine....Le Sigh

Sunday, May 31, 2015 No comments
I may or may not have mentioned my ongoing lust fest with Adam Levine here.  I have loved Maroon 5 since the first cd was released many moons ago.  My visual assault of the adorkable wonder that is housed in frontman Adam didn't come about until the second cd hit.  He was scruffier, he was slightly buffer and in terms of rock star trifecta he was tatted.  I probably had a tiny bit of a swoon when I got a full glance of him.  Little things enhanced that over the years, most notably the interview he did that ended up in an American Airlines in flight magazine of all places where he was in yoga poses and shirtless a lot.  He's kinda beautiful in all the ways I find men attractive.  And yep I totally know he's married and that's sweet as hell but I still wouldn't kick him out of bed--just saying.  I kinda love it when he curses in a song too so This Summer's Gonna Hurt Like a Motherfucker just makes me giggle and bounce and smile and yeah swoon a little bit more too.  I'm going to share the latest bit of sigh worthy material with you.  If you don't have a google account then you may not be able to see this since there's cursing throughout said song and tiny flash of Adam's ass at the beginning.  Enjoy or don't cause you know I will.



Hallo, Bonjour, Hola, Ciao, & Hello

Saturday, May 30, 2015 No comments
Didn't realize it had been three weeks since I posted.  I have had a lot of things jumbling around in my head the last few weeks and work has kept me occupied as have random things that are good for me but eat into my schedule.  I have taken on a few projects that I am excited about and I'm on countdown to my vacations starting.  You read that right, one for fun and one for work at least but that only gets me through August.  There could be others on tap.  I will post my happy dance if there are more lol.

I haven't been posting as much because I'm frustrated.  I feel unsettled a lot and out of sorts and well just plain stupid other days.  My emotions can be all over the place as of late which I don't particularly enjoy.  I feel like I'm a sling shot just jumping around from place to place without much guidance on my part.  I haven't really even enjoyed the rain lately and longtime readers will remember I have a very intense fetish tied to rainstorms.  But here I am now, and it could be because I'm worried about flooding or tornadoes cause it's just that time of year for a large chunk of the country, in the midst of ground soaking bone chilling storms and I'm distracted by thoughts of snacks and sleeping.  I've been sleeping more than normal to me as well so I was thinking maybe my body is slowing down or heaven forbid I'm pregnant--I'm not, took a test to be sure, but seriously something must be wrong with me right?

The only thing that is really different is I for once in the many years this blog has been up haven't been venting my confusion about my current romantic life as much as I have in the past.  I'm not sure if that is because I'm older and don't want an audience but based on traffic there's not much of an audience anyway lol.  I'm not sure if it's because I'm shielding them from the mass ball of confusion that can be my brain.  I know I enjoy them greatly and there are some days I think this is great and wonderful and yeah!  And then there are days when I feel like I'm going to disappoint them.  Not because I'm not good enough or we aren't compatible but because at the moment I'm really satisfied with the level of connection we have already and not sure if I need or want to push beyond that because that's when I tend to screw the pooch.  That's not fair to them though is it?

I used to think I was broken but I think that may have been because I was trying to be like the other girls and really I am nothing like most girls, hell most people.  I'm a strange mix of parts and there's nothing certain about my moods or whims or interests day to day or person to person.  The only thing that anyone can reasonably rely on is my lust.  If it's there then you know for certain when you are with me that I want you desperately.  Beyond that I keep imagining a turtle sliding back into its shell between periods of fun and amazement.  The rain is making me sleepy.  Maybe it's time for a nap.


Book Review: Anne Rice Beauty's Kingdom

Saturday, May 09, 2015 No comments
So first let me apologize for being out of action for a while.  I've been busy with work and traveling and a host of other things but has been wonderfully interrupted by a random opportunity.  I follow Anne Rice on Facebook and saw a post she had shared about looking for reviewers who were among other things actually involved in BDSM.  I saw it several hours after it was posted so I wasn't sure if I was going to even be considered.  I got an email back shortly afterwards that I would be getting a copy and it was sent to me in enough time to take on my trip a few weeks ago.

I have to say this as well.  I didn't read the rest of the Beauty series before reading this novel so there was some back story that I was missing when I began.  As I was reading it I wondered why I hadn't read them before and then I remembered why.  I was in love with Anne Rice's witches and vampires and the worlds they moved in.  My understanding of BDSM was minimal at best and I literally couldn't understand the motivations to serve.  Hot sexual encounters that push buttons a total check.  The mental devotion not at all registering for me at that moment which had to be I would be fifteen years ago.  Having taken the journey that I have been on since then reading this book was much like reading Diary of a Submissive for me.  Which in short means it felt like coming home in a lot of ways.

Having never read the original Beauty trilogy I was worried I'd be at some significant loss but this book felt like a standalone or rebirth which I guess it was in actuality.  If you haven't read Shakespeare or classic literature in a while the writing will take a short while to get used to but it was delightful honestly (or you think Twilight or Fifty Shades was well written--you should probably skip this actually if you think that) .  I quickly became invested in Beauty and her king Laurent and wanted to see what this adventure would do to their explicitly understood power dynamic.  Without giving anything away I can say that I was thrilled with both of their development and exploration and found myself nodding along often as Beauty struggled to become the monarch she thought the kingdom needed.  Laurent was the stuff of submissive girl dreams all charming and big and quietly dominating without needing to be demanding.

They are supported by a rich cast who I'm sure featured heavily in the original series save Eva who seems to have blossomed on these pages due to her age and interests.  The former Princes and Princesses returning to explore service and domination was slightly amazing.  I can say there was a fair bit of envy thinking there would or could be a place where my only thought needed to be how can I be pleasing today.  Those brief moments I have been able to indulge such thoughts have been freeing and wonderful and what can help push me through the moments that I can't.  And in this kingdom the phrase anything goes would have been fitting albeit out of step with how they would speak.  Dmitri, Alexi, Tristan and all the others explored whatever urges and pleasures that entertained them so if you aren't accustomed to reading about homosexual trysts you will likely be shocked.  All those things that were below the surface in the Vampire tales bursts free and is abundantly appreciated within these pages.

The freedom of Beauty's Kingdom made me envious if I didn't mention that earlier.  The doubts, the encouragement, the love, the lust, the absolute abandonment of the trappings of the "real world" made me sad when it came to a close.  But for all the details and exploring of the physical body the thing that I appreciated the most about this book was what I saw as the mental side of BDSM.  The psychological connection of submissive to dominant can be a unique and powerful thing.  There are those, much as is described in the book, that are just naturally submissive and can easily and readily submit to anyone.  I have never had that experience so reading the tales of those that had to be broken or had to be given to the right kind of dominant force made me smile, smirk and my bottom smart in sympathetic wonder.  For me, and many others, if there is no mental connection there can be no submission.  Watching Stefan transform under the right leadership was amazing and reaffirmed for me at least that love alone can't bend my will.  If you managed to garner my service to you then the love is overflowing and overwhelming as it was with Stefan and Becca and many others.

Even though it's a touch over 350 pages the book felt like a quick read and as I mentioned I was deeply entangled with all of the characters as they progressed through the book.  And even though some things are not at all unexpected as they unfold Anne Rice still manages to toss in a curve ball or ten as you work through everyone's stories.  The end was triumphant but I would love to know what happened to a few main characters after this story came to an end.  Some may say this is just as unrealistic as Fifty Shades but it's really not.  The motivations and possibilities seem quite real in Beauty's Kingdom.  And while both are somewhat dependent on having enough money to provide privacy and luxury the difference is it's not one long mind fuck.  The characters understanding of why they want to serve or dominate are clear and more in line with my experience in D/s relationships well save being naked all day every day.  That would totally rock though.  Their trepidation and appreciation of each other is obvious and genuine.  It's a love story that blends BDSM into itself easily not horribly written romance with a dash of D/s sex to make things interesting.  There is PLENTY of sex don't get me wrong but it seems more germane to the goings on of the kingdom and the relationships and when D/s is involved in those acts it doesn't make me cringe.

All in all I can say it was a very pleasant read.  It made me think of why I submit and what I would do if someone invited me into a world that I could totally surrender.  I'm almost positive they'd send me home or spank me constantly because I think way too much and need intellectual challenges or I become a pain.  But maybe they could use that to the benefit of those in charge.  Either way, if you want to take a mental escape and explore a bit of the BDSM trappings in a well written escapade you should journey off to Beauty's Kingdom.