It's Beyond Me, I Cannot Carry the Weight of the Heavy World

Saturday, June 10, 2017 2 comments
Have you ever had a moment where you just needed to cry?  Not wanted to, not forced to because of circumstances but needed to because things were broken.  Perhaps you were broken and tears were the only way to start healing.  I've talked about this before with people I'm teaching.  When you've been logical or preoccupied or just holding it together because you didn't have the support you needed to properly fall apart then sometimes you don't ge the opportunity to cry until much much later.  I remember feeling that way after my father died.  I cried that night but after that there was little time or opportunity to do so.  I had to figure out how to pay bills, arrange his funeral, let his craptacular family know, take care of his ex-wife and most importantly my younger brother.  Life sucked and as much as it sucked there was no space for me to really sit down and cry.  I didn't do that until much later when my furniture didn't show up as planned after I moved.  Then I sobbed like a big stupid baby.  But over the years I have had moments where I felt like I was back in the exact same place.