morning thoughts, bedtime thoughts are not the same

Sunday, May 30, 2021 No comments

I have literally no plan for this post so you are going to get some massive train of thought stuff here.  I'm watching the French Open which I love.  You never know what is going to happen on clay.  We've already had a retirement on the men's side, feel better Grigor, major upset on the men's side, go Pablo and boo Dominic you bother me lol, and a fine on the women's side for Naomi Osaka for not doing her post match presser as well as a promise for more heft fines up to default if she doesn't agree to do them.  That was cosigned by the other major tournaments so we'll see what comes of that.  The tournament also said they had reached out to her to address her concerns but she hasn't said a word so they can't fix what they don't know she wants.  Ahh well, the matches are still good.

I renewed the domain name for a few more years.  It's my totally passive aggressive way of ignoring that I don't know what I want to do with this space if anything other than blog.

And unrelated to any of that wholesome content lol I have been having some repetitive thoughts at night.  I keep envisioning someone who just lives between my legs at my beck and call.  The head is always bald as I lightly massage it and keep it on target lapping at my inner folds.  Someone like my ex that always made me feel like he was trying to put his entire face in my pussy and just camp out there until I passed out and then licked me awake again.  Then when I am good and sleepy I'd like to be penetrated while we spoon and dose off to bed but that allows me to wiggle on a dick in the middle of the night and when I wake up before we start all over.  Yeah fun dreams.


keep growing wherever you can

Sunday, May 09, 2021 No comments

I will have to come back to the title.  It's been pressing on me that I needed to post something soon.  Not sure why but it's been on my mind.  I think my last few posts were definitely stress induced--I may have mentioned that then but who knows.  Living in a pandemic is whole lot.  Living and working in a pandemic is a whole lot.  Living, working and taking care of other people during a pandemic is just a monumentally bad idea if there is no one there to help take care of you too.  I haven't had access to any of the things that would help me recharge over the last it feels like eighteen months but I know it hasn't quite been that long.  My solo vacation--cancelled.  My study abroad trip--cancelled.  My eating myself full and sleepy on vacation--cancelled.  Even the gym because I have not been trusting of my fellow man as of late--cancelled.  The only thing I've done that I'm excited about is go forward with building a new house.  That won't be ready until later this year and I still need to sell the one we are in and not lose a ton of money on it.  Which I am terrified about if my dreams are any indication.  But things always work out the way they are supposed to in the end.

My cilantro plants showed me that.  I was getting ready to restart them because they were looking a little wimpy and unable to support themselves.  Then I got busy for like a week or so and before I knew it they started sprouting back up from their prone position and are doing better than the basil which has now joined them in the top heavy movement.  Mom's slow growing Tiny Tim tomatoes have now started bursting into shiny red ripe relief and she's tickled.  I forgot how much I loved growing things.  I've only used a little cilantro and she's had a few tomatoes but I'm thinking I may want either a larger indoor or outdoor garden when we move.  I kind of want some cucumbers and potatoes and onions too.  Those probably won't do as well in the hydroponic garden unless I get some baby ones like the tomatoes.  Watching things grow is giving me my only real outlet this year and it's taking some time to figure out that process.  I just had a dumb realization that you don't need to know about right now but it may make things a bit easier on the growing front lol.  

Ah I know what prompted me to write this now.  Just took me a minute.  I have heard songs on the radio and read a few things over the last few weeks that made me reflect on my former dominant partners.  Even though I don't reach out to GN often, he always responds and usually makes me feel better.  I've checked on Mr. Wolf a few times when I felt like something was wrong.  It's brief but at least reassures whatever spidey sense was happening.  I've reached out to Dutch once or twice.  It's kinda gone nowhere but that's okay too.  I've been letting things go, really letting them go, for the last few months.  I'm not sure what is coming up soon, next or what but I wish that whatever is I hope it's good and fun and soon.