Back to Life: Prompt 6

Saturday, October 23, 2021

Today's prompt is as follows: Think about something you wish you had known ten years ago.  If you could go back and give yourself the advice you needed at the time, how would your life change?

Wow that's kind of heavy to even process.  In 2011, I was still at a job I wasn't loving at that point and that was probably bad for my health.  I was either near the end of or coming out of my relationship with Good Nyte.  I was tired, my mother was stressing me out and I needed things to change.  Had I known that the job would only go on for another few years I may have said fuck it and figured out how to make things work with GN.  I didn't want to be where he relocated like at all but I wasn't loving where I was either.  He and my mother got along which was a massive help.  And we worked well together even if it wasn't always completely smooth.  Making a move for my relationship has never happened.  I seriously considered it with the Dutchman and actively discouraged it with Mr. Wolf.  I didn't want Mr. Wolf to be here because he hated the city and I wouldn't want him to think I'd have more time.  Mom is a time suck.  I didn't relocate because mom is not adaptable.  And that's likely why I didn't chase GN when I could have.  Dealing with her mood swings about minor change can kill my brain cells.  Moving somewhere colder, farther away from family and with the added uncertainty of whether the relationship would resolve in the way I wanted to likely would have been too much.  It's a good thought exercise but I don't know that my life would be different now.  Perhaps I'd be in a different job than I am now but so much of my life is good now because of the decisions I made in the years since.  I guess it could be richer in different ways.  Maybe we would have gotten married and maybe we would have had kids but the travel I've done never would have happened in that case.  I likely wouldn't have discovered some of my more depraved sensibilities.  I'm not sure if we'd be doing D/s at all really.  Lots of unknowns with this one.


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