First Week Recap

Sunday, October 24, 2021


 

This is the second Sunday post but I wanted to do this because I have been thinking a lot since I posted he earlier prompt.  I opted to make a recap post for the week just to process the whole experience.  I don't know if I'll keep up the whole weekly recap thing but if I do you will see the image above each time.  I likely won't rehash each post so keep that in mind.  If you want to know how I'm responding to each prompt, you have to read that entry.  So let's get into it.

Y'all know I like to talk, been doing that here off and on for a long minute.  The prompts for this week had me thinking about both submission and my life in general which I think was good for me.  We can lose site of things in either realm if we aren't deliberate.  And for me I've had to kind of keep them separated because I want to be able to maintain some privacy which I won't even get close to having if I'm out right now.  But I have pondered that in some ways I'd love not having to be secretive about this part of my life.  I'd enjoy greatly if someone asked me who I was seeing that had me so excited and I could respond, I met a new Dom and I think he gets my kinks.  I mean I guess I could say that but the security of my life would be in jeopardy.  

Anyhoo, what I also figured out this week is there is a lot of baggage and grief that I have to free myself from.  I mean I've been working on it but I need to stay focused in the moment on letting things go.  Relationships end, especially in kink, and I am not immune to that.  And while I don't "need a man" to take care of me in the vanilla world, I need the strength and comfort of a Dominant partner in kink.  That helps balance out my gotta be Dora Milaje'd out in the rest of my world.  I need the tremble and the sensation play and the thrill of mutual exchange in D/s.  This weekend I planned a party for a friend and it was amazing because the friend left on top of the world.  I miss that in my personal life or rather directed towards me.  

I don't ask for a lot because typically I don't get it.  If I ask my brother for help with mom, he'll call her for a bit and will let me vent but he won't help me brainstorm how to navigate her behavior or insist she come visit to give me a break.  I don't call very many people regularly because they tend to be busy or unavailable when I do call.  They will talk my ear off in return but such is life.  That's one of the things I enjoy about D/s relationships.  As we come into them we are usually pretty transparent about what it is we need from each other and try to the best of our understanding to provide that to each other.  Again it doesn't always work but that level of communication and transparency again is refreshing.  I want that in my life again.  I mean I think I was working my way through all of this before the first week of prompts but yes I want a healthy functional D/s relationship and I want it now with the language that I didn't have access to before.


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