The brain is funny: prompt 5

Friday, October 22, 2021

I saw the prompt for today a few days ago as I was scrolling through the first week and was kinda wrecked.  Thinking about writing it today isn't bothering me and not because I've had time to process it but because my brain isn't being inundated with other emotions at the same time.  So without further stalling, the prompt for today: How long did it take for you to obtain your collar? What process did you go through for your collar?

So some of you may be wondering how on earth did that set me off.  Slaves get collared.  I'm not a slave.  I don't identify with the M/s dynamic and only one relationship ever really employed the terminology and that was eons ago with Emperor because that's how he wanted to be addressed.  It triggered me because I was having a moment.  Have I been owned by a partner?  Of course.  By a few in every conceivable way and by others in the ones that counted.  But the process, if there was one, was ill defined at best.  We started chatting, we met up, after some loose or no negotiation into a dynamic we go.  That could be partially why these relationships didn't last because there was no process but not lasting is relative because I have been with each of my partners for three or four years at a pop with only Dutch and Mr. Wolf overlapping for a portion of time.  The prompt also got me thinking about was that something I wanted.  Did I want a public display, outside of being claimed on social media, of my submission to my partner?  In the initial moment of reading this, I was firmly in the hell yes camp.  A few days removed and back in control of my senses puts me firmly back in the shoulder shrug version of me.  Would it be nice yes but it would have to be something practical and something that blends into my daily wear.  How would we choose it?  There are things that I wouldn't be opposed to and still others that would have deeper meaning to me I couldn't even pretend to get because having a brand or a tattoo from a former partner somewhere on my body is not appealing.  But I love tattoos and am intrigued by brands.  An old fashion actual collar would be lovely in a scene but not realistic for daily wear giving my work.  And I haven't even considered what an alternative would be in over a decade.  I would have crawled over hot coals for Emperor at the time.  And I wrote a whole book for Roaming Solider.  No one else has even broached the subject of a collar because that's just not who we were.  I think the formal relationship negotiation could be good for me but if a collar is part of that I don't know yet.


post-signature

No comments