Where Kink Does Not Match Real Life

Saturday, November 27, 2021

Going to tackle the prompt first: Do you have a mentor? If you sought out a mentor, would you want one that is submissive or Dominant?

I do not have a mentor.  I have at other times sought out submissive women to mentor me but each declined for a variety of reasons and after the third one I stopped asking.  Nothing at all wrong with being unavailable or not seeing yourself in that kind of role but it was a little deflating at the time.  I know that there are things that prevent us from viewing ourselves as experts and heck we don't always have energy to extend ourselves but I had been hopeful that I could learn from people who knew more than I had.  The only person that extended themselves a little would have taught me about corsets in depth but I couldn't go to events enough to make that work.  She was lovely, may still be lovely, but that wasn't going to help me be a better submissive in my mind.  Learning how not to breathe while looking fierce is fascinating but my partners weren't that invested in corsets and there was/is so much that I wanted to learn outside of dressing the part.  I have considered seeking a mentor again and would like it to be someone on my side of the slash but honestly I've had enough rejection in that realm.  I can't fully envision Dominant mentors.  Not because they would be bad at it but because I think one of us may not be able to maintain the boundaries that are needed, most likely me, to have an effective mentoring relationship that doesn't blur the line with a dynamic.  I feel like the cross slash mentoring I've seen is more like testing the waters to see what may come of a dynamic. 

I am a mentor to lots of folks in my vanilla life.  And it's because women have happily mentored me in various stages of my career.  There aren't a lot of us in my field.  There are even fewer of us that are Black women.  So minority women and men flock to me for assistance and I'm happy to give it.  Even when that devolves into tough love, they receive it and I deliver it as much as I can.  I am ignoring a former student right now but that's because they don't listen after asking for assistance so I don't feel like extending myself.

Yeah that's all I'm gonna write about for now.  Other things are on my mind but I don't have words for it all right now.


post-signature

No comments