Not at all journal related

Sunday, January 09, 2022

I'll write the journal stuff later today.  I'm up and my brain in churning so I wanted to get things out so I can go to bed.  I like gaming.  I like reading.  I really like games that let me read any choose at least some of the behavior of my characters.  Bad writing makes me itch but I can suspend reality if I invest in the folks involved. Tonight I was rereading a book in one of those games and recognized some BDSM aspects in play that I liked but that other folks are like boo that sucks.  There's was some domination and submission in play.  Even a shot at ethical non monogamy.  I skipped that because of how the characters developed for me but whatever it was there.  These folks have come up with a just straight BDSM story and I have been pleasantly surprised that while it's not entirely realistic in how this couple decided to explore kink, the ways in which they are exploring kink don't make me itch.  If anything I was noticing things that I'd have liked in past dynamics and might like in a future partner.  Of course the dominant partner is independently wealthy and likes to make sure the new submissive is comfortable and safe so he gives her one of his homes as she deals with a life event. Someone else covering the bills would be fucking amazing but not really what I need.  What I've been responding to is 1) the implied experience that the dominant partner has, 2) the borderline cockiness that he exudes even though he's struggling to maintain his composure with the new submissive, 3) that he's not even pretending like he's not having sexual responses or urges provoked by the new submissive and 4) that he's guiding her slowly into an exploration of BDSM that is intriguing for both of them.  It made me wistful for a bit.  I'd love to be trained in that way.  Ahh well.


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