we had magic and this is tragic

Monday, February 28, 2022

sorry didn't have a good title and that song is playing right now.  i've been listening to music for the last few hours.  having to play my own dj while i process is intriguing.  i think i know where i'm going and then something flips the mood and i'm off in another direction.   i've been through stephanie mills, jill scott, phil collins, switch, bobby caldwell and billy vera to name a few.  on to christina aguilera after a bit of tamia and chante moore.  songs have literally nothing to do with each other but they are giving me a vibe.  oh had some big luther and levert in there too oh and the o'jays and whitney houston.  i'm normally tired on monday nights because of work and i did something stupid so that was a thing too.  at least it feels stupid. 

prompt for today: what are your main coping mechanisms?  are they serving you well?  i legit laughed when i saw this.  in the non kinky world eating, sleeping and drinking are my main coping mechanisms when i'm single.  hard, ridiculously hard, sex is when i'm not single. when i'm in a dynamic, sex will work but a good scene will break down whatever is going on in my head.  but i haven't been in one of those in a minute so it's all good.  nothing is working right now.  i'm a mess.  let me not say that the music is helping because when i listen to music my mind is floating on the drums and instrumental.  good lyrics will help and you would swear i was a dancer by my sitting movements.  i definitely am not but i can ride a dick like a ballerina when the right song hits.  ask GN what happened the first time he let me ride him when the second version of The Ride by Prince came on.  we've slipped into sam smith from maroon 5.  when i was taking drum lessons, we figured out that sam's drums seem to be drum kits a lot which is why it's hard to replicate them some times.  maroon 5 i found my groove in though.  i need to set up my drum kit actually.  that may help me relax too.


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