i have thoughts, lots of them, so buckle up

Sunday, April 03, 2022

Prompt for yesterday: What lost art or etiquette lesson do you think would brighten service to your Dominant?  Honestly I don't know.  Mr. Wolf was fascinated with the 50s house wife motif and it was one of my favorite dress up roles.  I love cooking and baking from scratch so that's not something I'd struggle to do.  I can't imagine anyone wanting me to sew but I can do that as well.  I enjoy gardening.  I could host a dinner party as easily as I could plan a progressive dinner party.  I know a ridiculous amount about sports, cars, and stereotypical boy interests.  I don't know much about smoking but that's because I don't like the smell and it would trigger an asthma attack in the past.  I guess I could learn how to perform a cigar service if they were interested but the men who like to smoke cigars, in general, are not men that I enjoy serving.  Their energy has felt off for me thus far.  There's always an exception to the rule but that's where it would be now.  Maybe cleaning more because I only like cleaning when I'm cranky.  The rest of the time I'm fucking tired and want a nap.

Prompt for today: Is there something you never thought you would do but are considering with your current partner? Don't have a current partner as all of you know.  With my immediate past dynamics, I didn't think I'd attempt or enjoy polyamory.  I can say that I didn't enjoy it because what I thought would make it successful was off the table.  I had no relationship with Mr. Wolf's girls and Mr. Wolf refused to interact with the Dutchman.  So I was floating between relationships and anxious a lot more than I probably wanted to be most of the time.  So that's a global didn't think I would attempt or consider.  A more specific one is when I helped the Dutchman break my brain with urine play.  After I got over the initial hesitation, I figured out that with the right person I really enjoyed that.  Didn't work for everyone but that's neither here nor there.

Per Amazon, I bought the Submissive Guide writing prompts on October 18th.  Knowing me that was the middle of the night so technically the 18th but I should have been in bed.  It was a Monday apparently and since then I have written mostly daily since about these prompts.  That has accounted for 80 ish posts at the end of last year and so far this year.  That also means I still have more than six months of prompts to get through.  Some of them have been helpful, some others have been frustrating and others have just be written from, rightfully so, the perspective of a woman who has been in a long-term relationship with certain expectations that are unlike my own relationships have been.  I appreciate the exercise and would not have made peace with some things had I not begun the writing prompts.  I don't know that I'm going to be where I hoped I'd be at the end of the year.  At least not just from the writing prompts alone.  I'm working on a vision board and as soon as I can find the right format for it and how to keep it handy then I'll share it with you if possible.  I'm focusing on health, wealth, relationships, work, and finding peace.

Some of this whole current journey was because I reached out to the Dutchman after Mr. Wolf's unexpected death.  It made me realize how important he was to me and how hurt I'd be if he had died and no one told me.  Fast forward to a few days ago and I hear from GN that has people lined up to share that information with me if something happens to him.  I don't remember asking him to do so but I appreciated it.  We are still good friends.  It also made me realize I don't have a Rolodex for that anywhere and will need to update my will with that information.  I feel good today and I want to enjoy that.  Have a good one yourselves.


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