weekly posts a day ahead

Saturday, May 14, 2022

Prompt for Sunday: how do you recharge or replenish yourself after a powerful or intense session?  probably sleep, eat and shower.  Almost always in that order because if the scene is intense enough I need to sleep to reconnect to myself and then I'm starving so hopefully I have stocked food ahead of time and then I want to scrub up and smell good.

Prompt for Monday: Define love.  This seems like a simple statement but truthfully I can't say.  How people around me show love is not how I need to receive love.  I ask for basic respect, try to keep my word, listen to people when they tell me what they want/need and try to recognize when I'm not doing that because it is in conflict with how I think they want/need things.  When we can't make that work I try to walk away.  Except when I can't because they are related to me.  In that case I am trying to state things plainly and pray, leave the space for a while and do something else because if not then I'm angry and rude and will definitely not be loved.  To be clear, there are people in my life that love me and love on me.  I appreciate them greatly.  What I miss though are those moments like with my dad who seemed to really just want me to be happy no matter what.  We got along so well and I didn't understand why he couldn't with my mom and struggled with my brother.  We also didn't ask a lot of each other to show we loved each other.  I'd make dinner or marinate the protein so he could grill.  He'd rub my head and watch cartoons with me.  Reflecting on that, I guess love for me is safety and security.  It's not judgement free but it is blessed with ample understanding.

Prompt for Tuesday: Is it necessary for you to shave everywhere?  Necessary for whom or to what end?  I haven't shaved everywhere ever I don't think.  I've done a mostly full body wax and that was god awful.  I've had partners that liked it when my vagina was bare but that felt goofy if we weren't fucking and the absolute worse when the hair would grow back in.  Once the hair started coming in gray from time to time I let it go.  I don't shave my legs because I'm rarely in shorts and when I am I don't care enough about other people or their judgment to go through that headache.  Hell I haven't had my eyebrows done in forever so nope not necessary.

Prompt for Wednesday: How are you feeling today? I'm feeling like it would be great to act like my family does towards me because then I'd be chilling in my house alone and maybe scheduling some debauchery for later.

Prompt for Thursday: What are your core values? Are you living by them?  Honestly, couldn't tell you.  I don't like to see people mistreated.  I fight for people who don't have access.  I encourage people to chase their dreams and do what is best for themselves as long as it doesn't hurt other people.  I like honesty and try to utilize it as much as I can.

Prompt for Friday: Complete this sentence and keep writing, I am courageous because I keep advocating for myself and others even when it feels like it's a lost cause sometimes.  Not a whole lot else to say there.  I's a slog and I don't always enjoy it but I do it.

Prompt for Saturday: What special training would you like to have? What benefit would it serve? Honestly I wondered if we had slipped back into another section because I was like the fuck is this about again.  If anything maybe work on some meditation and cooking for myself to enjoy things but nothing else.



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