i woke up randomly today. i shouldn’t say woke up. i never really went to sleep. i was on my way to sleep and then all of a sudden i was wide awake. i logged into fetlife for the first time in a long time and was surprised there were three friend requests and no messages from would friends. i didn’t ignore them or accept them. if i don’t interact then it doesn’t matter in my brain. i was able to do a quick check in on folks and went on back to my life. i think that will get me through for another extended period of time. i’ve been having some weird sleep issues outside of this bout of insomnia. some time last week i had a very vivid dream that a young ish dominique simone was being fucked by a pretty basic fuck machine set up while some very lucky dude was licking her clit. and in the dream i was masturbating like crazy which is what ended up waking me up. then a few days after that i had a weird round of sleep paralysis that originally felt like someone was trying to kill me and then to have sex with me. i’ve been masturbating a bit more than “normal” but i think that just means i’m coming out of my breakup haze. i’ve read a few kink inspired books in that time as well and i didn’t dream about someone in particular. i haven’t felt a longing for anyone in particular either. i’m ready for the new person. i still think he’ll have an accent for some reason but it could be southern just as easily as it could be international.