okay so i am listening to that but i’m actually in a good mood and like breathing so really i’m okay with living. i was having an annoying painful flare up but finally went in and saw the dermatologist who gave me an injection and i feel like a whole person again. may change some work stuff in the spring and i’m happy with that. so now we are on to tennessee whiskey–i’m in a music mood tonight. i listen to music a lot more lately. i think that’s my cue that i’m feeling better in general but that i’m happier than i have been in a while. i’m still very single and and i’m not sure that will ever change. not because it couldn’t or i am somehow inherently unlovable but i just ain’t looking hard and i’m good with myself. i’m also very aware of my iffy friend status. i have people that are my friends but who don’t check in on me the same way that i check in on them. and honestly i knew that was a thing as you aged but it’s annoying some days and others i’m good with the peace and quiet. plus it’s not like i could tell some of my random friends i like to be tied up and spanked for the fun of it. my kink friends either end up splitting off into relationship pods or falling off as we grow in even slightly different areas. that’s a bit more disappointing than the vanilla friends because we do have that in common and then nothing. sorority life kept me busy the last few months so maybe i’ll mix and mingle in that for a while. maybe i’m more like my dad than i thought. he was kinda to himself as he got older as well. gonna let lenny kravitz sing to me a bit and chill out.