Kinky Girl Down

Friday, October 14, 2022

I have been burning the proverbial candle at both ends.  Lots of major things at work and home and trying not to lose my mind in process.  Today I turned in one of the last major projects I had to do and that allowed me to just be still for a while.  I didn't respond to too many more emails, took mom out for her pointless shopping trips and then made it back to eat lunch.  I've been trying not to doze off after reading my choose your own adventure updates but it's a struggle.  I should also say that after or as the last of the journal prompts went up I sent one final message out to The Dutchman.  It wasn't a tearful plea that we start things up again or an angry missive that he didn't reach out to me.  It was a long email written over the last seven months that I didn't want in my draft emails anymore.  We haven't spoken since April or maybe before that shit but it was time to really turn the page.  I'm debating deleting the apps that would allow me to check in on him beyond fetlife which I don't use regularly anyway.  I don't really use them so it's not a win to have them outside of resist bot.  We'll see.  I'm finally healed up again.  That could be why the smutty dreams are returning and the random shower masturbation has ramped up.  Like I thought about being back in Amsterdam and my heart didn't do a pitter patter but instead was like ma'am how we gonna get through that long ass airport line without murking people.  Those plans got scrapped because I was really planning on heading to a concert but it's a festival which means no seats and I am entirely too old to enjoy that life.  Well for anyone but maybe Prince or Michael Jackson and that ship has sailed.  I will look for something else but I like to rest between songs I need to belt out full throated and off key.  

I have a few days off work and I am gonna finish setting up my room and getting rid of some of these boxes that do not matter to me at all.  I may see if people want to have lunch or dinner but really I may also do absolutely nothing beyond making dinner and letting my brain rest.  I went down the internet rabbit hole for a while lol.  I should eat dinner and relax.  Y'all enjoy yourselves.


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